Sunday, May 15, 2011

Ben, Paul and Chindy - A Match Made in Heaven

About sometime last year i got a call from Ben. Ben Sterling. He said he was calling from an equity fund based in Hong Kong and that they had something that I would be keen on. I was looking at checking out some off shore funds to invest in and asked him to send me some stuff for a friend to look at. He sent in on and my friend said it was nothing special. Ben of course followed up diligently and tried to get me to buy in. Ben was a persistent mother lover. He was also and very obviously a young Filipino from a call center possibly based in Manila.

After that he would call me every 3 weeks even after i bluntly told him i was not interested in his wares. Ben went radio silence for about a month and exactly one week after the Japan tsunami hit I get a call from Ben.

"This is Ben. Ben Sterling Mr Chindi and I'm calling from Japan".... he left the last part hanging waiting for the dramatic effect to sink in.

I lost it.

"Ben Sterling eh?" Are you really Ben Sterling, Ben Sterling? Are you really calling from Tokyo or a call center in Manila? Look, I told you before I am not interested so can you PLEASE BACK OFF!"

"I would like to inform you Mr Chindi that our calls are recorded and that you will be receiving a letter from our Lawyers."

"No problem Ben, but can you put your manager on?"

"And yes you will get a letter from our lawyers for your attitude to me"

"thats cool Ben, now i need to speak to your superior as my lawyers need a contact person to address our legal cease and desist letter to your company. How's the weather in Manila by the way?"

"click".

Mother fucker........

3 weeks ago, Ben Sterling called me again except this time...

"Hello Mr Chindi, my name is Peter Shielding from the UK calling....."

"WHAT? When did you change your name Ben?"

"wha....."

"DUDE the last time you called me you were Ben Sterling!" I AM NOT INTERESTED!"

"Yes and if you have some time sir, my name is Peter Shielding and ...."

"wait i'm driving, i'll pass you to my director..."

I shove the phone to Peekz (yes i was really driving).

the next thing I know, I hear Mango in the back seat say a hesitant "hello?" - Peekz had off loaded the phone like a hot potato.

"Um boss... as Mango hands me the phone..

"what happened?"

"um.. i'm not sure. he asked me who i am and then he told me to fuck off and he hung up."

Ben and Peter. Psychologically very English names but belonging to a very Filipino young man. My number is on their database and I think they will refuse to take me off. I do love these games and its just a sign of the times. Where the world is just a click away and even an annoying pest thousands of miles away can get in your face at the click of a mouse or the allocation of numbers from a random database.

The world's bull shit just got a lot closer to home...

2 comments:

peekz said...

Peekz shoved the phone to Mango cos she spoke to the Ben dude before and he's a persistent & irritating wanker.. LOL..

Chindiana said...

from now on you have full authority to be an asshole to him too! consider it an extra staff benefit!