Saturday, April 30, 2011

Top 10 Stupid Things I have committed

I started this list on this blog about 3 or 4 years ago. Thought I would try to add on to it to make it a Top 10 instead of the original Top 5.

Original post begins below followed by updates from point 6-10.


This is going to be a first in my Top 5 Lists as a dedication to High Fidelity. This list does not include all the stupid things i've done to injure myself in sports because then it would be the Top 100 List. Here goes:

1. Taking out my contact lense AFTER eating curry flavoured Twisties WITHOUT WASHING MY HANDS.

2. Went with a date to a friend's wedding and THEN going on to pick up a girl i had just started dating (she had made prior plans and i didn't want to go to the wedding alone and very intelligently forgot to tell her i had gone with another woman).

3. Trying to pry open the fake nut on the my plastic hub cap cover when changing a flat tire (the actual nut was under the cover) AND THEN wondering for 5 seconds how did I get so strong when the plastic nut broke off.

4. Leaving the windows in my old rented room open when i went away for a week as i didn't like the musty smell. My room ended up the local Fight Club for the local alley cats - piss, blood and shit all over the place. At least it didn't smell musty.....

5. Trying to attract the attention of a girl by suddenly leaping up in my crowded school canteen and shouting "Fuck Off! Don't touch my curry mee!" (Hey, I was 15...And yes I scared the living shite out of her and thus utter shame and embarrassment ended my fascination with the female species for a good 7 years.)

6. Driving home after by birthday celebrations AFTER sampling 3 wines, at least 5 whiskies, about a barrel of beers, 2 shots of absinthe and a Flaming Lambo. It did not end well.

7. Walking over to the first hottest woman in that bar (after a life of having never attracted even a civil "good morning' from an office colleague) who smiled at me and buying her a drink. Hence forth I have learnt to tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman.

8. Playing futsal again AFTER twisting my back badly (thus reactivating an old lower back injury) the day before. Note to self - the adrenaline will get you home but will take 20 minutes to just sit up in bed. That half hour drive to the doctor will seem like an eternity and yes, you CAN sweat from pain in an air conditioned car.

9. Jumping out of a raft that had floated out into the open ocean at age 8 or 9, when not knowing how to swim AND forgetting that the ocean gets deeper the further you go in. Note to all - the embarrasment of having an excitable uncle giving you mouth to mouth on a public beach is quite mentally scarring.

10. Drinking local moonshine on a month long hike in the Himalayas while eating at least 9 eggs a day. The pain at 18,000 feet can be interesting and there is such as thing as protein overdose and what will come out of your ass can only be described as a bastard love child of melted baby chicks and The Son of Blob.

Trust me a top 20 is easy enough.

9 comments:

CreativeBitchin said...

i love #10. sounds pretty epic, if messy.

as for #1, i've probably done worse. put in my contact lenses after slicing chillies TWICE, both times forgetting that capsaicin will linger under finger-nails even after a vigorous hand-wash. you'd think i'd learn a lesson after the first tear-jerking, excruciatingly painful incident, but noooo...

love this post! i'd put up a similar list if not for the fact that some are so painfully embarrassing (and NSFW) that i'd probably die first than speak of them to anyone.

Chindiana said...

Twice eh 'Bitchin'? sucker for pain i see!

And yes, i have no shame......

Stella Q said...

#1. You found the secret to a confirmed 3 days MC!!
#7. CRINGE!!!
#10 Wtf where you doing eating so many eggs....

ah lim said...

#3 Hahaa.. Veli pawafull!

Chindiana said...

Stella! Apa khabarrrrssss! re #10 it was my self made theory since i would me spending a month climbing the Himilayas and protein woule be good for me I figured the more eggs I had the better! sorta like Popeye getting more stronger with more spinach... bodoh betul...-_-

Ah Lim! dont la rub it in bro!

J said...

What a wonderfully interesting and eventful life you have had so far.

Chindiana said...

umm.... yeaaah. thanks J. maybe in hindsight eh, after the embarassement has faded over the journey over time...

Alison@Mama Wants This said...

Conclusion: You are a bumbling alcoholic idiot with a bad back.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Joking, joking, put the baseball bat away.

Chindiana said...

OOOhhh... you come here cari pasal eh? told you already motherhood has not dulled your evil streak...