Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Talking Thai

I've had problems understanding Thais speak English. A coupla days ago in Bangkok I had to lovely opportunity to be involved with two Thai gents in interesting 'conversations' almost within an hour of each other.

I hail a cab to go to the airport. There is a teddy bear at the back seat. I smile as get in and ask "yours?'

The cabbie looks back and urgently informs me to "Poin baside!"

"whaa....???"

"Poin baside, poin baside!"

"umm.... where?" I gesture to the space behind my seat with the standard issue tissue box.

"POINBASIDE!"

"you mean put in back side???" common sense flies out the window in the face of obvious personal juvenile interpretation and i come to the conclusion that the teddy was a bit too big to fit in my ass.

fuk man.....

i close the door, lean back, mutter to myself "wtf....." and order him in my best Imperial Officer baritone to take me to Suvarnabhumi airport.

After checking in, I get past immigration and make my way to the security scanners.

Laptop out, belt off, I make my way to the scanners.

The security officer looks at me, "kapinbwaasel." (or something like that)

"wha.... sorry?"

"Kapinbwaaseel?"

"fuk............. aaah............. "

"Kapin bwaaseel?????" and tugs at his shirt.

wathefukdoeshewantmetotakemyshirtoff???????

"Bwaaseeel????" and points at my chest.

'OOOOHHHHHHHH.... Brazil number one!" i actually smile (yes I SMILED - babies laughed, the Martians postponed invading Paris and unicorns run across rainbows all over the world), i reach out and actually pat him on the back before going past him. Glad he like my Brazilian football jersey.

Languages are sometimes like a box of chocolates eh? you just dont know what you gonna get yourself into. Sports is universal language and in most cases an easy bond between men around the world. Teddy bears however can be a linguistic nightmare.

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