Saturday, February 26, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
1. Sitting at Starbucks surrounded by constipated looking drones tapping away on their laptops. (its facebook, why look like you're reading a Wikileaks document?)
2. Being stuck behind the majority of passengers of a Low Cost Carrier airline - meaning a herd of chatterring, blabbing, illeterate love spawn of orcs and red neck Teletubbies.
3. Trying to explain an addendum for a legal document on BBM while stuck in a traffic jam along the highway, in heavy rain, on a friday evening. (i've long found out that folks who dont aswer phone calls and prefer to chat via BBMs and SMSs keep these as evidence of discussions. mother lovers....)
4. Shopping with women for hiking gear ( boots do not need to match your jacket in the jungle!!!!!!)
5. Fending off "when are you going to get married" questions from drunk uncles at family weddings.
6. Pushy telesales marketeers especially dudes called Robert Jenkins from London who sounds like Premalakh Kale from Mumbai - "Yend todais woffer yiis wOnly valid till 5pm todai. Aye strOOngly saggest you kanferm its now sir"
7. Pyramid scheme direct selling mother lovers. 'Nuff said.
8. Women who refuse to go out with me by saying I'm too nice
9. Women who refuse to go out with me because they say I'm too grumpy when......
10. ..... gay men think I'm cute
Monday, February 21, 2011
If you're ever there order up the Tower. Pork Ribs, nachos, tortillas and everthing Mexican except for Salma Hayek Gyrating on your lap with nothing on her but a white python around her bobos. It feeds up to 8 hungry manly men which it did. My TV and marketing crew, Gus and myself were too full and satisfied to even oggle the young nubiles on parade. Yes the food was that fulfilling.
The Philippines is as close to small town Americana as possible with the lasting impressions of the US Navy and Air Force bases long abandoned in Clark and Subic. Signages, fast food outlets, names of business could be tired carbon copies of rural life in the US of A.
The education system is one of the best I've see but then with more bright sparks graduating than professional jobs available it's sad when you walk into bars across the region and see Filipino graduates serving you beers and being paid to chat you up to buy more drinks. (they are of course not as mercenary as the China Dolls or Fanny and Apple from Puchong and Nipple and Vagina from Hong Kong).
Philipines has not hit exploiting the tourism potential yet - the volcanoes, the beaches and islands are yet to open the eyes of the world to this untapped destination. I so far have offers to climb Pinatubo, visit Palawan island and of course if some women with hot bikini bods wish to ravage me like wild lionesses in heat are up for it, i also have an offer to hit the seaside paradise of Boracay (please email email@example.com for further information. Those of you with boy friends larger and hairier than me need not apply).
Getting out of Clark Airport (yes I flew AirAsia) I still dont get it why that guy who mans the security scanner into the departure hall keeps hinting for me to give him my small change. Almost the entire group ignore him. We've been getting his shtick for the past year already but obviously it must work on some travellers or else he woulda given up a long time ago. Thats another thing about the Philippines, they've got to be able to reign in some dodgy elements who might put off foreign investments and long term tourism if they can catch up with the rest of the region.
Another new place for holiday destinations. So many places to see. So little time..