Monday, December 6, 2010

Recycling Old Tales

I wrote this story for new man magazine a long time ago. It was one of the first articles I did as a free lance writer. Well i posted this story on this blog way back in 2007 but thought I's share it with some of you newer readers today. Here goes folks, Happy Monday!


What do you do when the parties end? What do you go back to? I have used my work as an excuse to get away from the day to day living and the grown up responsibilities that come with it.

I was having such a blast that I forgot to grow up. I now realize that I am 36 years old, single but with a long suffering girl friend who is loosing patience with me. I am working on my own with a small operation and am pushing for the break that is supposed to justify a 36 year old Star Wars quoting, futsal scarred, Bob Marley fan embracing the entrepreneur spirit.

I’ve watched the sun rise over the mountains of Nepal, had tea on the beaches of Cannes with one of the most beautiful women in Asia, got gloriously drunk on Miller and ribs at the Houston Astro Dome watching WWE’s Wrestlemania 17, was enthralled at the beauty of Mysore Palace in India and watched the endless cinema of Malaysian sunsets over our many beaches. I have devoured the entire menu of a Portland micro brewery, have had to run for my life in the streets of Mongkok because we inadvertently bought drinks for a triad member’s girlfriend and have tutored a Japan GT Queen how to sing Negaraku in a tiny little bar in Roppongi, Japan.

Now I realize that I haven’t declared my income tax for the past couple of years, I am frequently late on paying my cukai pintu, phone, water and electricity bills. I’m normally galvanized into a frenzy of cash waving at various payment counters when I get those letters threatening all sorts of disconnection or legal action. Bills proliferate my mail box like locusts. I have loans to pay for my apartment and car. I have monthly insurance bills to pay. I also reluctantly had to accept that the Indah Water bill and my water bill were to different bills (dudes, Indah Sewage will be less confusing la).And here I am thinking all my bills will take cash out of my wallet, hail a cab downtown and help me pay themselves off.

It just seems so tedious doesn’t it? But someone’s got to do it and mom and dad are too busy breaking coconuts in the local temple hoping that their only son marries a homely girl with child bearing hips soon.

When you’re a kid, your parents are the one’s who have to check out the sounds of things that go bump in the night. They have to use the tweezers to pick out that dead decomposing rodent from behind the fridge and make sure every door is locked and window closed before the family calls it a night. Now it’s all you. There’s no one else, no back up. You’re navigating the asteroid field Solo because Chewbaca has to send his son for fur braiding classes.

Its not IF you have to grow up, its HOW SOON. The most important thing here is how much of that boy inside do we loose? As an adult and as a parent you are living as a provider to yourself and your loved ones. How many of us stop dreaming when this happens? How many of us want to want to jam our moist futsal jockstraps into the faces of the smug hosts of those Discovery Travel and Living shows wishing we could trade places but can’t now or ever?

As a guy we have 2 lives. We’re scuba diving, hard drinking, adventurous Casanovas with a glint of metrosexuality about us that pulls the women like an MNG sale. On the other hand we’re adults who need to keep grounded so we have the financial stability and mental strength and discipline to keep ourselves, family and especially our children safe from the ravages of modern living in this crazy wonderful world.

I’m not giving up on enjoying life to the fullest. I still need to try fresh brewed yak milk on the plains of Mongolia, play carom with a French Polynesian beauty in Guam and hopefully fulfill my dream of opening a ‘Chap Faan’ coffee shop in the Jamaica.

I have a meeting with my accountant friend to help me file of my tax returns, I’ve just finished my monthly payment schedules, car servicing schedule and even my visits back home to see the folks. I’ve just settled my last two years of cukai pintu and am sacrificing a chicken to the gods of electronic banking as thanks for the convenience. However I am now playing hide-and-seek with my credit card companies. If you guys are reading this I also have a payment schedule for these bills too and it starts next month. Please don’t send the well dressed gentlemen to my house just yet because my mom is coming over to make sure her little prince is eating well.

Chindiana Trails for New Man Magazine
2nd August 2005


ah lim said...

Please do write a piece on the running away from HK Triad.

Chindiana said...

cant remember much as it was all in a drunken haze. We started on the island drinking at that bar in the hotel next to the convention center, i remember coming out, all of us not being able to get a cab, then a memory of us taking a train, then a bar, drinks, drinks, and then someone grabbing my hand and pulling me out, some cabe ride back to hotel. Wont make much of a story without all the details in between!

ah lim said...

HAHAHAHA wow, lucky somebody grabbed u, if not....

so when does your health allow you to drink again? i still owe u the bet on drinks.

Chindiana said...

anytime for you Ah Lim! Although i might not be able to go my normal distance :(