Why is it that I am the only one who seems to be able to keep to an appointment. EVEN if it means me flying back across an ocean and 2 countries I am normally earlier that some who live within minutes of the meeting point for dinner?
I assume it was the day that watches became fashion accessories more than TIME KEEPING apparatuses.
Some excuses I get for being late:
1. The evergreen "I'm on the way, on the way boss!" when actually they are still at home scratching their balls watching MU vs Chelsea on the telly.
2. "yeah I'll be there later, i am going to eat first" WHAT YOU COULDN'T EAT AHEAD OF TIME???? - fucking malaysians, always thinking with their stomachs even if it means making others wait around a lonely corner on a dodgy street surrounded by pseudo transvestites.
3. Silence. They dont call, they dont write..... Just silence. And what you get after you ring up looking for them is a breezy "yeah sorry bro, i had to pick up the little woman" or the OTHER evergreen "i had last minute dinner with my family".
That thing in your pocket that occasionally buzzes against your balls? That thing is a MOBILE TELEPHONY DEVICE. You can speak to other human beings with them. You DIAL their number that is STORED in that device. You will hear a buzzing sound or something called a Lady Gaga or a techno remix version of 'Lemon Tree' and then the voice of your friend will answer. USE THAT THING TO INFORM ALL THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE THAT APPOINTMENT. Even monkeys know how to use a phone. What are you? Ringworm?
4. Signs that the endurance of the human species is being eroded by fast food diets and a overindulgent Playstation/Xbox lifestyle - "sorry I was too tired".
Too tired? For dinner? You got a porridge drip at home?
I will however accept 'too tired' if its from too much sex.
In a jacuzzi.
With Japanese twins.
5. The SUPPOSED get out of jail card that Malaysians think they can get away with - "chill la bro, in MALAYSIAN time I am STILL on time!"
So come on people. Give me money. I'll take it and you can exhibit me as the last of a time keeping species.