Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Chindiana Trails and the Custom Officer of Death

International travelers often have to pay for the foreign policies of their governments. I've had fun times before in India (Malaysia deported about 450 Indian nationals for some reason) and immigration in Bangalore, South India, gave me shit when I was departing (it seemed was passport was fake as the photo in the passport had a gentleman who was not wearing glasses and i was... -_-).

Anyway, no one told me that the Indonesian media was reporting that Malaysians were killing Indonesians. Reporting it a LOT.


I got into Jakarta last weekend for the press conference on Monday. I had about a 100 caps as door gifts for the media with me. Of course I get pulled over and get sent on to the customs office for not having proper documentation even though we had gotten thru customs before wit no problems.

I explain in my very bad Bahasa Malaysia that these are hand outs for a press conference. One customs dude walks in and demands my passport.

"you are Malaysian?"


"Be careful Malaysian. You think you can kill us but you dont give us problem here!"


"You kill Indonesians? You Malaysian kill Indonesians and you come here and give us problems?"

This goes on for about two minutes. In between another dude tells me that I have to pay about RM500 in taxes as these products. I say these are sponsors products and there is no cost to it.

I am told not to give trouble and sit down.

I keep standing and tell them to keep the caps. I dont give a shit at this point. But I demand a letter stating why they have are keeping the caps and they can have it all.

I am then taken to another room to get the paper work done.

Then I realize its a good cop/bad cop act.

Good Cop - " This is too high. Why this tax so high?"

Chindiana - "dunno,you can ask your friends." (at this point I dont give a fuck as I am late for my meeting in town)

A big show goes on and Bad Cop walks in.

"You be careful Malaysian. Be careful."

"Dude, I did not kill Indonesians!"

"You are all the same!"

"why dont you ask our policemen or whoever it is that is killing your people! I dont know anyone who kills Indonesians" (I actually walk out to stop myself saying that most Indonesian fights occur in their own 'kongsis' around the Malaysian construction sites)

"You behave Malaysia! Come in!"

"Just looking for my colleague la"

Good cop smiles an shakes his head. Looks at me as says OK you just pay RP500,ooo (i think thats about RM150).

I reply "can whatever...."

"Why you look at me like that Malaysian? You dont like me?"

"haha, Looks like you dont like me more"

"You Malaysian all basters (bastards)!"

I just roll my eyes and settle in my chair as good cop fills up the necessary paperwork.

What enfolds next makes my day.

Good cop while tapping away at the key board asks "Upin Dan Ippin good!" and laughs.


"Upin dan Ippin. You dont know?" he looks at me as if I have RETARD written on my forehead.

"um... noooo....." i feel a bit stupid at this point.

"Its Malaysian TV cartoon! very funny!"


Bad Cop - "Upin dan Ippin very good! but Malaysian all still basters!"

he walks out and i get my discount.

haha. fuck the world man.

saved by some retard cartoon from Malaysia.....

*this is just a summarised version. I think i was in there for about 45 minutes or so. I think the only guy who was NOT on the act was the first guy who stopped me as he was the one trying to get me to come back later with paperwork to clear customs without having to pay anything.

You gotta love these things.


J said...

I admire your patience.

I think I would have vomitted blood/ mengamoked about 20 mins into the ordeal.....

ah chan said...

luckily they weren't them Bendera mofos. Didn't think the botak look is good for you.

Stone age mentality...

by the way i firgured out how to have the word verification appear... click No to the https prompt.

Chindiana said...

J! well it was kinda surreal but that whole upin dan ipin shit actually had me smiling a bit at the end!

Ah Chan! fuk man only saw how bad in was on the news the next day with those bendera clowns. I woulda thought botak look would bring out my baby hazel brown eyes? Wahahahahah!

Stella said...

Wow that's heavy! And I have no idea what's going on back home gotta read some news!

Chindiana said...

Heya Stella, just some drama. As far as I know is was last week that some Indonesian maritime officers got arrested, then in Indonesian there was a lot of news about Indonesians being on death row and already a few excuted etc etc. All this we dont even hear about it Malaysia. Drama ya. Glad you're in Oz?

Nex said...

Its not much better here at home:

Chindiana said...

same same every where eh Nex? things never change...

freshsourmilk said...

That would've been an extremely good story to tell in person. Even if you didn't think it was worth mentioning, it would certainly beat driving long and around listening to music vol. 1/2 down.

Chindiana said...

really? well in my action packed life I welcome the quiet reflective moments Mz Acid. No wonder you were yawning in the car so much!