Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Dreaded Y Gates

Fuck me, AirAsia has moved the departure gates for some flights from the larger Terminal T to the Y gates on the same side as the domestic flights.

It is fucking chaos as there are only TWO gates, TWO check in scanners and only FOUR manual immigration counters to service flights from cosmically high volume destinations of Bangkok, Singapore and Kolkatta, India! I am sorry but this is just a statement of a fact, where there are Indian nationals flying you're going to get drama, long queues and more drama.

Dear People of India,

I thank you for visiting my lovely country. Below I would like to outline to you some pointers that will assist you in understanding what may seem to be some peculiar oddities in our country.

Point 1
PLEASE FUCKING LINE UP IN THE QUEUE AHEAD OF YOU. Don't worry the plane will not leave without you. You have already checked in (i assume, if you have not that you're a dumbass and Mother India would be happy that you're stuck in Malaysia.

We totally understand that in India rushing en masse for planes, trains and automobiles is a way of life. In airports around the world at least this is a more civil exercise to board your means of transportation. So it is OK to line up in an orderly fashion behind everyone else.

Point 2
6 bottles of Malaysian ketchup in your carry on back pack is still considered liquid substance that is banned on ALL airlines in the world. It does not matter how much you paid for it, for today a Malaysian immigration officer will be dipping his fried chicken wings in your ketchup.

Point 3
Dude, you can't pack your goat, your house and your family of 10s clothes into 2 GINORMOUS bags and not expect to pay extra for your over weight baggage. AND PLEASE dont try to repack all these into your carry on packs AT THE CHECK IN COUNTER. Remember, taking out those 6 bottles of ketchup wont make enough space for your goat's arse. You are just holding up the queue for the others.

Point 4
To asswipes who use your kids to cut the queues - the next time i see you unleash that little brat who runs to the front of the queue to look for an imaginary 'friend' and you rush over to get your kid BUT dont move back to your place in the queue? Two things - you've trained that brat well. Second, I'm going to report you to that immigration officer and say you called his mother a goat.

SO these gate Y - you've got the weirdest mix of people - business men and women lining up in a clash of cultures and lifestyle with families and workers from the Indian sub continent.

Get your ass early to the airport if you're flying to Bangkok or Singapore. At least 90 minutes before your flight just in case someone really packed their family goat in their fake LV carry on luggage.


J said...

Oh dear. That doesn't sound like an improvement at all. :(

Hopefully its just teething problems because they just moved there from LCCT?

Chindiana said...

eh nono J - this is IN the LCCT.

Best of luck!

J said...

Oops. Sorry had a blonde moment.
(Dunno why I thought you meant they moved to KLIA! Haha....)

Nex said...

There REALLY should be a test to screen out idiots before they're allowed to travel...seriously...

Chindiana said...

Well J, I think the new permanent LCCT will be ready in 2012. It may make the journey for AA flights not as long.

Haha Nex, how I wish....