Saturday, July 31, 2010

Chindi's Hottest Women of the World Awards

So i sit here and I realized that I have been blessed with the company and friendship of stunningly beautiful women. Unfortunately many of them think I am gay. Or a moron. Or a retard.

So I've decided to start for the very first time, Chindiana's Hottest Women of the World Awards!!! (only because the world revolves around me. sometimes. well, maybe once every leap year...)

And the awards go to:

Hottest Woman to Nag Me Award - Ah Chongzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!

Ah Chong, my personal Jiminy who has hopes for me to be a respectable citizen. Always on my shoulder, trying to keep me out of prison or getting beaten up by 7 foot transvestites.

Hottest Woman Whose Abs I Plan To Steal Award- Senorita Ame!!!!!

C'mon, its not fair that a hard drinking model can have better abs than a manly man who wrestles bears before breakfast! NOT FAIRRRRR!!!!!!! Also the hottest property agent i know who can hold her booze better than me.

Hottest International Kaki Yum Cha Award - Raageshwari Loomba!

Rags used to be a VJ for MTV India which i had a HUGE crush on. World Wrestling Entertainment made a boy's fantasy come through when she interviewed Big Show on a promo tour I was in charge of. She would actual make time to catch up for tea if I ever was in Bombay. Heavily involved in charity work she is now a famous singer in India. One of the most naturally bubbliest person on the planet that I know.

Hottest Cook Ever Award - Farah Siva!!!!

One of the longest running friendships with this crazy woman who can cook up the most breathtaking dishes evah! Unfortunately just recently engaged so she is lost to the world of single lone wolves prowling the prairies alone under the moonlight...

Hottest Mermaid Award! - Ariel Spock!!!!!!!
The most scarily details oriented woman on the planet (i refrain from the work anal) ! Ariel is an analyst with one of the largest insurance firms in the world. Also my source for financial advice (I have to put a disclaimer that she did not advice me to buy comics or action figures). Spends almost all her money diving in the oceans of Asia every other month! One addicted dive freak.....

Hottest Woman at 30,000 feet Award- Stella Q!!!!!!!

One of the craziest, wackiest and quirkiest women I know. AND also a great writer but selfishly keeps her thoughts to herself. (Stella if you could no-look teh tarik like Lily I would vote you President of the Galaxy!)

Hottest School Teacher Award - Bella Butternuts!!!!!!!

C'mon guys isn't this your fantasy? I mean I had The Tree Hugger and Joeby literally asking her to put on her 'teacher spectacles' when we met at Online Pub, just so they could fulfil a visual fantasy. Hot teacher or what?

Hottest Woman With A Potty Mouth - Ah Chanzzzzz!!!!!!

She puts me to shame this one. Even I am embarassed when she verbally assaults anyone. Her language has 'improved' even more since she moved to Scouser Land in the UK. This is the only shot I can find of her not pulling a face or attempting to eat someone's handbag.....

Aaaaaannnnd Finally......

Hottest Woman To Call Me An Arrogant Prick Award - Mz. Iking!!!!!

Yes, let it be known that I am an equal opportunity grump. I share my 'chirpy' disposition with one and all, even if you are the most beautiful woman in Malaysia. Thankfully this new age flower child forgave me over a cuppa coffee. One of the freeist and strongest spirited women I know.

There you go. Ladies, the T-shirt is in the mail.

Thank you one and all everybody, good night and I will see you next year!

Longest Day Trip EVER

I leave at 1 AM tuesday morning to Cebu island in the Philippines for a meeting. I transit in Manila at 5am and catching an 8am flight south to Cebu. I should arrive in an hour and my meeting starts at 10am. My flight out is at 5pm and I should haul my ass into bed at about 1am Wednesday morning. That makes is 24 hours. Longer than my last record holder of 15 hours which took me from Malaysia to Laos to northern Thailand to Bangkok and back to KL.

Now what to do in the odd 3 hours I will have to do there? OK I'm opening up options to u guys so u can live vicariously through me. What would u do with 3 hours on a tropical island? And please note I've already eaten balut...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Dreaded Y Gates

Fuck me, AirAsia has moved the departure gates for some flights from the larger Terminal T to the Y gates on the same side as the domestic flights.

It is fucking chaos as there are only TWO gates, TWO check in scanners and only FOUR manual immigration counters to service flights from cosmically high volume destinations of Bangkok, Singapore and Kolkatta, India! I am sorry but this is just a statement of a fact, where there are Indian nationals flying you're going to get drama, long queues and more drama.

Dear People of India,

I thank you for visiting my lovely country. Below I would like to outline to you some pointers that will assist you in understanding what may seem to be some peculiar oddities in our country.

Point 1
PLEASE FUCKING LINE UP IN THE QUEUE AHEAD OF YOU. Don't worry the plane will not leave without you. You have already checked in (i assume, if you have not that you're a dumbass and Mother India would be happy that you're stuck in Malaysia.

We totally understand that in India rushing en masse for planes, trains and automobiles is a way of life. In airports around the world at least this is a more civil exercise to board your means of transportation. So it is OK to line up in an orderly fashion behind everyone else.

Point 2
6 bottles of Malaysian ketchup in your carry on back pack is still considered liquid substance that is banned on ALL airlines in the world. It does not matter how much you paid for it, for today a Malaysian immigration officer will be dipping his fried chicken wings in your ketchup.

Point 3
Dude, you can't pack your goat, your house and your family of 10s clothes into 2 GINORMOUS bags and not expect to pay extra for your over weight baggage. AND PLEASE dont try to repack all these into your carry on packs AT THE CHECK IN COUNTER. Remember, taking out those 6 bottles of ketchup wont make enough space for your goat's arse. You are just holding up the queue for the others.

Point 4
To asswipes who use your kids to cut the queues - the next time i see you unleash that little brat who runs to the front of the queue to look for an imaginary 'friend' and you rush over to get your kid BUT dont move back to your place in the queue? Two things - you've trained that brat well. Second, I'm going to report you to that immigration officer and say you called his mother a goat.

SO these gate Y - you've got the weirdest mix of people - business men and women lining up in a clash of cultures and lifestyle with families and workers from the Indian sub continent.

Get your ass early to the airport if you're flying to Bangkok or Singapore. At least 90 minutes before your flight just in case someone really packed their family goat in their fake LV carry on luggage.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I'm TRYING to be enviromentally sensitive....

I know a lot of what ever we throw away ends up in an illegal dump on the edge of some forest reserve or under developed land near housing estates (i have one such ever growing dump in the empty land behind my house in Seremban).

The authorities and corruption makes it easy for careless disposal of waste. SO anway, I may be a grumpy ass mofo with alcoholic tendencies BUT i DO try NOT to be a pain to mother nature. I've got a whole lotta shit that I have kept in my house that I need to throw but i know that i will end up behind someone's house somewhere.

Can anyone of you out there let m know what I can do with:

1. Used batteries (i've got a mini mountain sitting in my home)

2. Used toasters, retro mini compos, etc (on another note - is there any old electical shop in the PJ area that can fix these old items?)

3. Old CPUs

Let me know folks. My social consciousness is collecting lotsa dust in the Chindiana Love Palace.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

My TV Heroes

A child's mind is formed by all around him. Scarily enough it's the Saturday morning or in those days the evening or afternoon weekly adventures of spacemen, cowboys and super heros.

Many of these guys made me dream, hope that being a better man would make the world at better place and yes, to be paraded as a cool guy by saving a hot hot Erin Gray from evil extra terrestrials. I tell you I had a longer crush on Wilma Deering than Princess Leia.

I am 41 this year. My first hero was a black and white masked man who appeared to a cool theme song (never new it was inspired by bowman William Tell) and had a cool pardner with an even cooler name. I looked for horses in Malaysia and almost pissed my pants when at about 5 i had my first pony ride at the Weld Supermarket back in those days when bell bottoms were still new to the world.

To the gentlemen below I thank you for instilling in me the need to do the right thing. To show me that right and wrong is as distinguishable as the black and white world that many of you spoke to me back in the day.

Majukanlah Heroes Tulen Untuk Negara.

The Six Million Dollar Man

Hey for the smallest kid on any team I so badly wanted to be a 'man barely alive' so i could kick ass with my bionic big toe.

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century Theme - Version 2

Captain Wilma Deering anyone? My tum goes yums....

Buck made me a dreamer. Always looking over the horizons, wanting to always know what was over that next hill, next bend, next skirt, um wait no, undo that last bit...

Battlestar Galactica

C'mon which fanboy did not flock to Galactica's weekly adventure just to get over Star Wars witdrawal symptoms. Admittedly Richard Hatch looked a little gay but it was cool to see a cigar smoking Dirk Benedict have a ball playing space man every week.

The Greatest American Hero

He made becoming a super hero almost a reality. That stupid costume, that ridiculous hair and he wasn't Marvel or DC. Back in those days he could have come from anywhere.

AND The Coolest Cat Ever? Eyyyyy...

Friday, July 23, 2010

Eyes Wicked

My friend with her special gift has started a blog. Its just a point of release with her situation. She keeps it factual and you can see it from her writing. We know these things exists but to her they are very real.

According to Hindu, Muslim and Chinese sinsehs she is not supposed to talk about these things openly but I guess at this point in her life she needs to just put things on paper to maybe clear her thoughts. She said the blog is not going to be permanent as she does not want to tempt fate but for now you can read her thoughts at

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

How NOT to prep for a Mountain...

Tracy, Maddy and Karen from KL. Two auditors and a corporate trainer drinking with us. Who woulda thunk it? That there in their hand is the infamous Bounty Bar Jungle Juice. Copious amounts of sugar masks the strong local whisky inside this very refreshing drink.

So I aim to take on the toughest volcano of my life and what are my preparations?

I hit Bali just after noon on the 16th (Friday). I head straight for the hotel bar where they offer me local vegetable 'keropok'. I order up an ice cold Bintang and ask hopefully if they have the ABC brand chili sauce. They do! And they park a whole bottle in front of me. THAT ends up my lunch. I go through 2 baskets of keropok and LOTS of chili. I head to my room to check in and catch up on some emails. Gus turns up at about 6 pm and we continue drinking at the bar.

One of those random travel moments happens when I realise that another group of Malaysian turn up which I vaguely know. They've done biz with us in the past and had also hit town at the same time. 3 women and a 'happy' man. See, you women don't want to follow me but the powers of the Universe send 3 to me (yeah, same my name, say it loud and proud ladies...)

The next thing I know we're heading out at about 9pm. We head to Macaroni for dinner then head across to the Sky Garden across the road. The beers are flowing. Drunk Australian women get on stage and start gyrating with nothing more than string bikinis and sarongs and Daisy Dukes. We are happy. I leave my fate to the rest. It would be rude to leave especially as we are heading to the notorious Bounty bar (the youngest crowd in Kuta - a lot underage). The bar is huge - gyrating half naked bodies perform on the stage and in a cage. The girls are in Wonderland. Never have they seen so many half naked surfers before. We hang a bit then head out to Deja Vu, a gay bar along the beach (I'll put down links to all these places later). The music here sucks the sweat off my balls. Its those heavy trancy shit that gay people seem to like. C'mon Gay People, whats wrong with a little Motown? I can't take it. It's about 3.30 am. I announce I'm heading back. We all pile into a cab and head back to the hotel. My head hits the pillow about 4.30am. I'm up by 8 (breakfast buffet ends at 10am and I aim to get my meal on the house). I head out to town to look for ABC Chili for my staff who have developed an addiction to the stuff (jangan marah Peekszzzz Yo! :)

I also have to find some underwear as in my rush to leave I left my sexy thongs back in KL. Gus had mentioned Klapa before in the past and I was curious that we needed to check it out. We pile in at about 5pm and head out to the South of Bali.

View from one of Klapa's balconies.

Klapa is a gorgeous F & B complex perched on a cliff. Its south of the Rock Bar and just after the Culture Park on the right. It has a 180 degree view of the Indian Ocean. Guests can head down the cliff and just bath in the sea and then make their way up when their throats get thirsty for a cold beverage.

It's breathtaking. It's almost a amalgation of Ku De Ta (dining) and Rock Bar (cliff side bar) but at least 3 times larger then the previous mentioned. We order up some wine and take in the sunset. The sky blazes gold as a DJ spins some Ibiza tracks.

The cold Autralian Breeze hits us as we down more wine (Australian Breeze - cold wind that hits Bali in July during the winter season in Australia. It tapers off towards the end of August. This is the best time in Bali! In the immortal words of Rick Flair, "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!". Oh and another thing it also brings the Great White Sharks from the Great Barrier Reef up to the Eastern waters of Bali near Sanur. Just thought I'd add that in in case some of you want to wrestle sharks before breakfast)

Sunset from Klapa.

We take leave of Klapa and then head down to Jimbaran for seafood. Beers are consumed. Shrimp, fish, oysters are consumed. I am now not in a good state of mind. We are supposed to start out climb at 1am. We only leave Jimbaran at about 9pm.

10pm Saturday the 17th of July, Gus and I board a van for the two hour drive that takes us to Bali's most sacred mountain.

I say a quiet prayer that the mountain has nothing against alchoholic climbers...

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Sorry Not This Time Around Chindiana....

It's 5am and we're stuck 2/3rds up Gunung Agung at about 2,530 meters.. We're perched on some volcanic rocks trying to shield ourselves from the freezing wind. We're cold, wet and a little hesitant about conditions. Gus had twisted his back when he almost slipped of some wet rocks below, an American who was ahead of us had turned back saying that the wind was too strong and her body tempreture was dropping drastically. Her guide told ours that on the rocky outcrops on the volcano's crown the freezing rain water was falling like water falls making the rock slippery.

It had been raining from the moment we started our climb almost 5 hours ago. Waist down i was soaked as I did not have water proof pants and my thermals were absorbing way to much water. Yes, my balls were not happy campers.

I had not used my raincoat as it was too bulky and we needed to keep moving, using our hands to scramble up the almost 80 degree slope. My jacket was doing fine so far although the water was already soaking into my sleeves. We were not generating enough body heat especially the higher we got.

It was pitch dark if we turned off our torches. I could not even see my hand held out in front of me.

We though to wait out for the sunrise just where we were and try to hit the peak when the light hit. We were another two hours from day break and about another 1 and half to the peak. It was still drizzling. It would make no difference. My back was starting to protest and Gus also had a back problem. We made the call to finish up our prayers where we were and head down immedietely plus even the seasoned guide looked worried. We could always come back.

Our guide who was also a local priest did the prayers. Lighting joss sticks and preparing the simple offerings of flowers and water to the gods of Bali, Gus and I tried our best to kneel and pray on the side of the mountain ( we both couldn't, my back's pain had caught up and we were both stiff as boards) . Gus said his quiet prayer and I just apologised for unwittingly pissing them off in whatever way i may have but promised it was not on purpose. After all before this early morning there was no rain on Agung for a month. It seemed that we were 'lucky'.

The wind is now full on. It's freezing. My water proof boots were sufferring the most interesting of situations. My soaked thermals were dripping water THROUGH my shoe collar, running down my ankles into the shoe. Pretty soon I was scrambling down with my toes now enjoying a freezing dip in an icy pool of water in a water proof shoe that did not allow the water to get out. Now THIS was unexpected. It was way to cold to even stop so i just kept moving down.

I move ahead as I badly need to pee and feel weird doing it on the sacred mountain. The jarring down the mountain was hell on my knees but the worse if I stopped too long. The guide stays with Gus and I move down as much as I can. Now it gets fun, the soil and rocks are loose and I spend a fair bit of time on my ass. When i hit the forest its a slalom ride down as I slide down muddy sludge and weaving around tree roots and ravines.

I reach the bottom. As I moved past the last trees of the forest, spires appeared through the mists. This was stunning. I did not imagine the temple was so huge. We did not see this temple in the pitch dark when we arrived. I only saw a small shrine past a door only lit by our torches in what seemed an eternity ago.

I stop and take it in. It was just me, in a jungle looking onto a sacred temple enveloped by the morning mists. No regrets at not reaching the peak. I can go back again. This was a spititual moment. How often do you come out of a forest to a view of silent towers waiting for you as the day breathes its firsts breath of a brand new day?

I move down further, I think I take a wrong turn. My directions are way off as we were navigating in pitch darkness earlier. I end up at the side of the temple, at a slender path at the edge of the mountain. The sun breaks through. The South of Bali warms up far below me. It's stunning. I lean on the temple's wall behind me and just take it in. My back hurts, my knees are sore and my thighs are in a state of pissed off pain. But it's so peaceful. The mists behind me in the forests hides the unseen myriad of birds that still sing out their morning songs. A cool wind rustles leaves around me and dries the rain and sweat from my face.

No mountain peak is fine for me today.

Friday, July 16, 2010

So I'm Off...

Ariel view of Agung

So I leave in a coupla hours for Gunung Agung in Bali. Its stands about 10,380 ft plus minus a coupla ft. My training so far for the past month has been once a week one hour hikes/romp/skip in the jungle nature walks in Gasing Hill, 5 times weekly visits alternating between Velvet, Cheers, Ecobar, Waikiki, WIP, Deutch Haus and Online Pub respectively where I have 'carbo loaded' on Heineken, Johnny Black, Tiger and assorted German beers.

My knees are still far from all good although my back has been behaving well lately. As I type this just after 4am I havent packed yet. I leave for the airport in 3 hours.

My fitness yardstick was the Nuang climb earlier this year - 5 hours up (an hour short of the peak) which was OK although the walk down turned my knees into jello.

I will be joined by............

Gus! My technical director who lives in Bali (100% male). We are supposed to be taking the trail that should take 4 hours to the crater at the top of this still active volcano.

I start the climb at about 1am this Sunday. This leaves me today and Saturday to do more 'carbo loading'. Prob at the Rock Bar or maybe the Bali Hard Rock.

To the 3 applicants from the Bikini Bod Open Invitational:

Candidate A : I dont plan my hols 6 months in advance to give you that much notice la aiyo. Am a creature of impulse, a lone wolf prowling the plains alone. Wait, is that a lone stallion? anyway...

Candidate B : Seperate Rooms is not good for my soul la wei! blood test? ... -_-

Candidate C : You ahh........SIIIIIIGGGHHHHH! If only your boy friend were not larger than me.......

What's the world coming to? Just can't depend on anyone these days...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Been Interviewing Folks for New Position In Company...

Think I pissed of one, scared one and almost made another cry.

Fuk 'em. My momma still loves me...

Monday, July 12, 2010

Wall Scrawls

Even the graffitti in Bangsar has depth.

Spotted this at one of the alley's off Telawi street.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Note To Self

Neighbor's wife has a new job.

She now leaves for work at 6.45 in the AM.


I should now refrain from watering the plants outside my apartment at the break of dawn in just my boxers.

ESPECIALLY NOT with a morning boner...

Thursday, July 8, 2010


It's ironic that I have my first Balut, the Filipino delicacy in an English pub in Petaling Jaya. As some of you already know the balut is a boiled egg with the embryo of a duckling or chick inside.

The bottom line? It tastes like chicken or duck in an egg. Although we used pepper and soy sauce to eat it with as we would a normal full boiled egg it tasted better with vinegar and salt as our Filipino guest showed us. The meat inside was a bit over boiled ( i think) as some parts were a bit to chewy.

Of course there is the gross factor so the key to probably not to look at it too closely. You don't want to see a malformed Hewey, Dewey or um... Chewey(?) staring back at you.

Peeling off the egg shells often releases the juices and the Filipinos will insists you suck on it. Its no problem, it just tastes like unsalted broth.

I guess I was lucky as some of my buddies had said they had taken a bite and come up with tiny feathers in their mouth. Some say you have to pick out the beak before you swallow. The Filipino lass i was with said that that was rare.

Is it that great a deal? - no. It tastes just like egg with meat. I guess you only go for it to satiate your curiosity or just to impress easily impressed women. No wait, you just might gross them out... Unless they''re Ah Chan or Ashley or Josie or the Princess.

Damn, whats Donald's third nephew's name again?

Chindiana Trails - eating baby ducklings before breakfast....

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Tales From The Third Eye

I've always wanted to explore the subject of the spirit world. I've had a draft sitting around somewhere that I can't seem to find. These are things we know exists but we don't or can't put a finger to it. We've heard stories, some of us may have had one or two encounters but there is enough of you out there who will not dismiss this as rubbish. 

What are these things, ghosts? energy/life force that binds the earth (cue Star Wars cliche) given form by fervent prayers/thoughts/mental projections by us mere mortals? Creatures from another dimension? The wet dreams of Stephen King?

However, a friend of mine who has this gift (depending on how you look at it) actually set down her thoughts on her blog. She wanted anonymity as it's a blog for close friends only but she allowed me to reproduce it here. 

Anyway this is the second of her post on some of her experiences. It's written in a matter of fact tone as she was born with this sight and lives with this on a daily basis. Nothing dramatic. So HERE GOES: I went to visit my aunt in her scary ass house. Its a beautiful huge
effin house situated in a golf resort. Her backyard is a lake overseeing the green pastures of a golf resort. Occasionally, I get to see golfers play their game and wave to them from across the lake. Some wave back, some don't. Well, i do have long hair, and i do like white. And from where I often sit to look at them, lies a huge old tree. So I don't really blame them for not waving back...
hehehehhee..It's a beautiful house, with the normal Aussie decorating style. My aunt is half Oz, so everything in it and around the house looks like a picture from an Australian Interior & Landscaping Deco Magazine.

The hosts are lovely people, we always end up eating
 A LOT and laughing. I don't sleep over very often unless I don't have a choice. By NOT HAVING A CHOICE i mean, if mum forces me to sleep over cos she does not wanna be alone in the room or...well, that's it.
If I visit the family, I come early and leave before 5pm.

In my case, not only the hosts of the house welcomes me with arms wide open, but the other 'hosts' which jumps with joy and celebration at the sight of me.
My personal experience there includes sightings of 'very unwanted looking' apparitions, hearing of voices
(I sound cuckoo don't I..?), being physically harmed by the underworld occupants and being annoyingly followed around like a shadow with it's own mind, like Peter Pan's.

I have seen a woman, whom has 
NEVER revealed her face, but she has long messy hair and she squats a lot or hang from tree branches. SHE follows me around a lot. She can't come into the house as how she used to, as the family has cleansed the house with magical dust and salt (hehe), but she lingers outside waiting for me. She once sat on my car and made it into a surfboard as I drove off, much to the scary ass frightening view of the security guards (which never said a word, till recently), she has sat inside my car and I saw her through my rearview mirror, which will be the probable cause of future accidents as whenever I drive into the area and out, I DO NOT check my mirrors anymore. I have heard her laugh. It's hard to explain without sounding crazy, but it's not the kind of laugh you hear through your ears.....but I heard it in my ermm....mind..?
It was a scary deep low keyed giggle.

...........which scared the shits out of me. I nearly ran out of the bathroom 
which I think would've amused my nephew...hmm..hmm...hmmm...
OH! But don't worry, she only follows me when i am in that vicinity. After I leave the area, she goes back to guarding her forte. 

I have also seen a bending-over-the-ceiling-kinda huge black hairy figure at the corner of the guest room entrance. That was freaky. I was quite disturbed about it for the whole week.
Same house.

How they sound like ? Some of them like to emulate the voices of those that stay in the houses. Misleading you into thinking that someone in the family is actually calling for you. And you, like an idiot go and
jawab few time and get annoyed cos no one responds to you. They like this kinda thing. Create unnecessary havoc. You should see them cheering and laughing at your stupidity caused by them.
Most of them sound like a few voices with different tones and emotions echoing one another, followed by sounds of certain animals. For instance ; hissing or rattling tail of the slithering snake, monkeys howl, owl's hoot, bats' scream, frogs....
like that

What do they normally wear..? Depends.
They don't exactly have malls to shop from
Their fashion statement varies from clothes packed in their coffins during their send-offs, some just of those they were wearing when buried, some all white, I've seen those in black rags, some in olden days traditional costumes, like the
chinese emperor outfits (then, i become smarter cos only then i know they are chinese-hhe)..Some appear in what they were last wearing before they passed away. Regular clothes.

Where do they normally hang out..?
but  have to say, that they like dark, damp-damp like atmospheres, they LOVE rain, they like music, but I am not ruling out the fact that they do appear during the day as well. It's just that, they are more 'viciously' active when it is dark.

Do they know they are dead?
Some yes...some in denial..
The others used to be people, who dabbled with the wrong stuff which resulted in them transforming into '
specific' beings after they passed on. Get the drift..? There are specific names for different ghouls out there kan...

Are they all dead spirits?
The world is divided into 2. If you are able to see, you'll see that the world is a 
VERY crowded place.
There's us and then the
invisibles. They are not dead, they are living too. They can see us, we however, are unable to see them. They have jobs, they have religion, they have family and they die too. That's why sometimes we bump into them, step on them, their houses, accidently harm their kids unknowingly. They retaliate. We fall inexplicably ill or develop inexplicable bruises on the body. To them, we are the spooks, to us, they are the spooks. To a certain point, yes It does make some kind of sense. Especially when our parents tells us 
NOT to pee everywhere, or spit, or cakap besar in jungles, or you ladies out there, to NOT throw your sanitary pads anyhow and anywhere your vagina tells you to. You are watched and heard okay...
Have respect.
I do have many questions regarding this topic as well..cos some things contradict the other. I am only explaining as how it was explained to me when i went around seeking the truth. I could be wrong. They could be wrong. But we are not the maker of us or these beings.
Only HE will know the truth.

I have come to a point in my life where I had enough of this. Its
NOT about black magic or studying up the art of the underworld. Mine came F.O.C since exiting the birth canal. To some it's a gift, to me it's a burden. It's a curse..and It puts limitations in things i like and want..
I have gone around doing my research in hopes to rid my forehead of this extra no no it's not easy to rid of it..Wish masking tape could solve the problem..
But i am getting closer.
I will get rid of it. I want it gone. I absolutely don't want it in my life...why..?

cos I have a LIFE and I wanna LIVE it..I don't want those I love to think of me as a freak..and eventually scare them off from coming closer.

*somethings wrong with the comments section. Just email me your thoughts and I'll post it here. Email at

First off from Stella:
Wow so freaky man.. I've had that happen to me, people calling (sounded like my mum) then no answer when I yell back. My parents think it's nonsense when the neighbours who bought our old house said it has "something" in it. Cos I used to get stuck, unable to move when I wake up in the middle if the night, happened a lot but I read it's because your muscles are relaxed or some shit like that so that didn't bother me much till one day it happend and I HEARD and FELT breathing right next to my ears!!! And then I fell ill for almost a month with my skin peeling or like a shedding snake, always feel ok when we're on the way to the doctors then ill again when I got home. Now maybe I sound crazy lol but I swear it's real.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Equipment and Gear For Kinabalu Mountain

I get a lot of requests on what to bring for the climb up to Kinabalu. Ah Chong was the last to ask so thought I'd put up a SIMPLE LIST OF BARE NECESSITIES for the average climber.

Here goes:

1. Termals top and bottom. Invest in a good pair they will safe your balls from freezing when the wind chill hits at at the peak. If you're cheap you can get a decent set at some of those old school winter clothing shops in most department stores or along Jalan Tunku ABdul Rahman. Retails for about RM120 to RM140. To be used for the peak climb. The cheaper ones are not bad. Unfashionable with that beige look only hip in the 18th century they've kept me warm at about 17,000 ft at the top of the Thronglar Pass in Nepal (no blasting winds though)

2. Water resistant lined cargo/ climbing pants - lined because than you've option for not using the thermal long johns. BUT you dont want to be caught in a morning gale without BOTH on. Trust me. Lined bottom and termal long johns in the icy wind at 13,000 ft will keep your privates warm and happy.

3. Good fleece jacket - the main bit to keep you warm. a lot of outdoor brands have good non bulky jackets. The key to layering as most women will tell you is to keep a comfortable silhouette for easy movement. Many people end up borrowing sizes too large and baggy and end up flapping about like Batman with a weight problem or waddling about like an overweight Teletubby.

4. Wind cheater/Slick/Storm jacket - the main piece to keep you from the harsh wind at the peak. The wind is freezing and if you're not layered properly you're going to get assaulted with zero temperature high velocity winds. Get one with a hood and possibly one of those that covers your face.

5. Balaclava - protection for your face from the winds - the one with just the eyes and (and sometimes mouth sections cut out). you can reuse in bed role playing games with the GF or BF. Sexy terrorist v wimpy accountant or something. It can double up like a beanie and keeps your ears from freezing into useless bits of flesh that you will have to cut out after a bout of frost bite.

6. Swiss Army Knife - its a must for any outdoor enthusiasts. You never know when you may need it to saw off your legs trapped under a boulder. Ladies please don't even think about getting that pink one with only the knife and the nail file and tweezers. The gods of the mountains wont care if you've hair growing out of your nostrils at 3am in the morning.

7. Head Lamp - A MUST- you will need your hands especially the last 3 hour climb to the peak. Check that it works and put in new batteries. Remember it will on on for 3 hours straight. You can also use it in a pub to attract the attention of bored hookers.

8. Backpacks with Hydration packs - I personally like a Camel Bak - the hydration compartment is meant for the water bladder. Not those pseudo shit that enables you to carry your lap top, files, legal documents which happens to half holster a water bladder holder. But then they dont sell Camel Baks here in Malaysia so any Solomon, Deuter or whatever will be good. Also the best to get one of these packs as you can drink on the move and you can also flip the bird to those monkeys at Kinabalu Park. With both fingers....

9. Hiking boots with broad forefoot - the Keen brand seems to have the broadest forefoot but because of the high prices they have been or slowly being phased out in Malaysia (available in World of Sports stores). Just make sure there is enough space up front so that your toenails don't keep jamming against the forefoot wall when you descend - blisters and broken toenails are normally the result of folks wearing the wrong shoe. It does not need to be an expensive boot - Hi-Tec and Columbia have decent models - wait for the World of Sports sales - which is often as outdoor brands dont sell as fast as the rest. I have seen some friends go up with nothing more than running shoes. Its OK if you have the feet of mountain goats and may not offer much support when you are navigating the rocky path up to Laban Rata. The boots help your ankle at the peak where you have to navigate rocky terrain, but running shoes are doable although their narrow forefoot is not the best on the descent. Nike shoes with those recycled outsoles are a hazard, slipping easily on wet rock thus testing the shock absorbtion of your ass.

I am tempted to try out one of those RM8 Cap Gajah shoes on my next hike up mountain though. AND LADIES... hiking boots or shoes will ALWAYS make your feet look fat and big and broad. AAANNND you're going to find it tough to find one that is color coordinated with your jacket and hairband and lipstick.

10. Rain coat - Fuck those expensive storm fit shit - get an old school yellow plastic ones from the hardwear shop. Better still those that construction workers use. - the ones that are WATER PROOF. Fuck breathability and shit. If its raining at 13,000 feet you do not want to get wet. Icicles on your balls are not cool. My guide actually had one of those little umbrellas that old ladies use tucked in his pack. Obviously enough to ward off the rain on the mountain.

11. Food and water - spring along the way. Water is essential and your guide can carry it for you however some folks like Arial has replenished her water supply at some of the streams and waterfalls along the Mesilau trails. I think one stream and one waterfall. Pack your lunch and keep powerbars on standby. Try never to finish everything in your pack unless necessary (just an old rule in case you get lost and are kidnapped by rogue biawaks that eat nothing but boiled tree bark)

12. Spare socks - feet are going to be the most important friend. If you get caught in the rain you're gonna want to have dry socks on hold spare. They also double up to keep your feet warm in Laban Rata.
13. Watch with alarm - Timing is key that you keep to your schedule. An alarm setting helps for you to catch the 2am waking hour to push to the peak.

14. Water proofing (keep plastic bags on standby in case of rain)

15. Climbing Stick pole. (for anyone carrying any injury or is just plain unfit. Not macho but it really helps. Trust me. You can get the cheap wooden ones at the Mesilau gate at RM3. (this was about 3 years ago)

16. Light T-shirts (3) Ideally long sleeves as it act as another layer - One to climb in and one to descend to the peak. One spare just in case you're caught in the rain. If you're not fussy just 2 t-shirts are fine. The dry fit/clima cool/polyester ones work as they don't get bogged down with sweat as much as the cotton shirts.

17. Shorts - fun to climb in on a sunny day.

18. Gloves - you will need this at the top where it will be freezing. Advisable to get thermal gloves and not those cotton ones the old ladies use to drive their cars in Old Town PJ and Klang.

19. Handphone - well I know the peak has some reception (not sure which carrier) as I've seen my guide talking to his wive on the way down. This is just one of those things. In case you're lost. Plus if doubles as a torch light, a radio, spare camera, can record the phone number of that cute Japanese climber and if you're McGyver you can use it and combine it with your head lamp, Swiss Army life and long johns to build a glider and fly off the mountain if you're bored of the climb.

Packing for Kinabalu is almost like packing for two trips - the first 5-8 hours (depending on which trail) is almost a regular albeit a little chilly hike which you can do in a t-shirt and even shorts if it's a sunny day. The heat you're generating from your exertions will be enough to keep you warm. The second segment of the hike to the peak is where it gets tricky. If you're unlucky you will get hit by heavy rain or a thick misty onslaught and fierce icy cold wind which can be tricky on the hard smooth granite crown of the mountain.

Have I left out anything?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

20 somethings dancing to Ricky Valens

Shit left butt cheek jiggling to daft punk

Fuk I am too old for this shit