Friday, June 18, 2010

Tasik Bera

The moon's twin reflects off the serene placid lake as we drift quietly on the dark waters in the wooden tiny dugout. Bani the photographer is waiting patiently for the money shot of some of the shy nocturnal wildlife to come forth in enigmatic glory. Far away a night bird calls, an eerie song that breaks the dark velvety night. I think its a loon. No wait, loons are not found in Malaysia. An owl? Nope, owls don't sound like Katie Perry on steroids. Woody Woodpecker? Maybe it's Tweety Bird? No? Donald Duck singing 'Lemon Tree'?

Fuk it. How the fuck would I know? It's what WISHED would happen.

Tomorrow I leave for Tasik Bera. Its an assignment V from Going Places pitched to me (originally it was Tasik Chini) and which I accepted.

HOWEVER, when I called the Park Operations Manager this afternoon just to confirm our arrival time i was told that no bookings were made, there was to be no food served for the 3 days. We were helpfully told that the nearest restaurant was 25 km from the lake. We were not booked into the resort but a 'quarters'. There was no internal transport - the 4 WDs were fully booked.

Basically there was a breakdown in comms between the Ministry of Natural Resources and the folks who manage the Lake Resort.

I am of course not in the best of moods. Malaysian 'eco tourism' when left to locals means (in my personal opinion) FUCKED UP. Village small town amateur facilities which mar natural beauty and give way to gaudy Lego bricked garishness (with those fucking used tire 'picket fences). I have to say I am not a fan of Malaysian tourist locations. Especially Malaysia's humid jungles and lakes. There is just really nothing much of scenic value unless you're one of those oversized hippie Smurfs from Avatar where you can ejaculate everytime a bee sucks nectar from some oversized plant amid dense vegetation.

I was polite to the guy from the park. It was not his fault. The lake looks shit from every picture I see on the web. Of course after a couple of stiff shots of whisky I should be OK. But for now I AM NOT IN THE BEST OF MOODS.

My plan is simple - write about the ecosystem and how it helps somehow to deliver clean water to the nation. Focus on the jungle natives (no choice as I dont think they do anything different from the other nomadic tribes in the country. Maybe they will dance the Macarena under the full moon light?), I want to show that there is wild life there. If they are going to boast wildlife they better not expect me to to accept "we cannot guarantee a tiger or wild mammal". Fuck you. I'm pushing for us to take a 3am circuit out to the salt lake to catch the animals enjoying happy hours. If I'm going to be feeding leeches and mosquitos then I'm going to at least get to see a tiger try to cock block a panther over a kancil deer during the night.

I haven't packed as I type this. Have not bought mosquite repellant. OR that bottle of whisky.

And this time if there is any mention about wrestling a bear before breakfast it probably means I may be a testicle short by lunch...

6 comments:

J said...

There, there... *pats on back*
I don't have whiskey but you can have my bottle of vodka if you want it.... Would it help?

Chindiana said...

J! Am just finishing up lunch by the lake. Good fresh fish but that bottle of vodka sounds good! Bila happy hour vodka?

J said...

I've had a bad week so I accidentally started on it already. I'm only a quarter way through tho, so I could use some help finishing the rest up. :)

When r u back from the middle of nowhere?

Chindiana said...

Back Sunday by 5 pm if no traffic on Karak Highway. Hope u keep that stress festering till then! RumahKu. PJ can bring own bottle. Set! I email u map (if I can find).

Han Solo said...

Quickly go take your insect repellent :) Good Luck!!

Chindiana said...

Solo's back!!!!!! Welcome home Han!!!