IN STABLE HEALTH.
IN STABLE HEALTH Y'ALL.
I tell you if God gives all a second chance this is it. I have to be honest, I was a little nervous before the results came in. I needed to take this test to increase my insurance coverage so in a way it was a 'forced' test. If left to my own devices I probably would never have gotten around to it.
So first off I would like to thank God for keeping my liver and blood pressure in stable condition. My liver especially would like to thank God for this minor miracle.
With all the tensions over the past year, the heated tensioned filled arguments at work, the late nights, the sleepless nights, the drinking, the late nights and the drinking and did I say drinking?
Maybe the once a week futsal, the weekly hiking excursions and the twice daily sex with Japanese twins has helped a little in keeping my body just that tad bit healthier. Maybe its because I've never really ever NOT played sport in my life, having the need to work out in some form or another being the only good habit I've ever cultivated (besides wrestling bears).
I was worried the report would come back "You're FUCKED MORON". So i AM taking IN STABLE HEALTH as a sign that someone out there has bigger things for me. Keeping me so as maybe I have a more important task in the future - changing the face of the industry I work in, in the region, spending more time with and CARING for my long largely ignored family, saving the universe from drunken Sith unicorns....
So to commemorate this occassion I've booked myself to climb Mount Agong in Bali in mid July. I should hit the peak on July 17th. I will probably be spending the whole of the 18th lying on my back in excruciating pain. My knees are still fucked and I haven't road tested by busted back with carrying a trek load in years. I have zero cardio and strength in my legs for a 6 hour climb up a 13,000 ft volcano. Stupid, fool hardy and a sucker for pain. Just the way I like it.
The plan is to drag myself off the mountain by noon, shower somewhere nearby, drive to Ubud for a 2 hour spa session, reward myself with Crispy Duck and Bintang Beer at Bebek Bengil and then finish the day with a sunset dinner at the Rock Bar.
NOW. What would make this ABSOLUTELY PERFECT IS I am opening up ONE travel space in this exciting adventure to a female of an adventurous nature who will be in for an experience they will never forget. You will be staying in a 5 star hotel, dine on a cliff side restaurant overlooking the Indian Ocean at sunset and of course you will be in the company of 'moi who I am told gives excellent massages and has a wicked sense of humour. Also my momma loves me to bits.
Only criteria for a succesful application is :
1. An awesome bikini bod
2. A NON whiner in the face of any physical exertions (just climbing up and down the volcano)
3. An ability to drink a reasonable amount of alcohol.
Interested candidates please write in to email@example.com.