I'm bored. So therefore I've created my greatest invention ever -Darth Buaya! My alternate universe take on Vader as a horny motherlover. Spread the joy, bring the fans! The movie should hit soon after the world catches on to the brilliant satire and intellcktu... uh...tual? ..... uuh... fuk it. AND the action figures and costumes and replicas which Nex and S'wak will design!.
Get started on this multi part series right here on Chindiana Trails!
Darth Buaya stepped off the Imperial Shuttle, wishing that his breathing apparatus did not make his prolonged sigh sound like the fart of a constipated Wookie. He should have cloned some women, he thought to himself for the millionth time. Having 100 million penises on a Death Star was giving him blue balls. It didn't help that they all walked around looking like they were clenching ping-pong balls between their butt cheeks.
He was still pissed that every dramatic event was preordained to have just one, yes FUCKING ONE female in every cycle. Any other cursory being with tits was probably some reptilian changeling or some out world goth chick with a giant needle piercing.(He curses that a stray Wampa pisses on Lucas' original show reel of American Graffiti)
He needed to get laid badly. Ravaging captured Ewoks was just not doing it for him anymore. He needed fresh action. Something to fulfill the desire for variety was clinging on to his bionic loins like seaweed.
"Captain Needa! Set a course for the Canteena Bar!", he commanded imperiously .
Needa looked at him quizzically. "But we just passed it my lord."
"Not the one on Tatooine you fool, the one in Bangsar!" he roared.
TO BE CONTINUED...