Sunday, November 22, 2009

Johor Baru

Over the weekend (Saturday) I had to fly into JB for short meeting. I get in at 8.30am and am done by 10.30am. I can't get an earlier flight so am stuck with the 6.50pm return.

What does one do in JB? I don't particularly like JB although I think Johor has some of the hottest coolest babes around.

My affinity for JB is almost at a zero. I enjoyed the Ponster's fantastic yearly birthday bashes at the jungle retreat in Pulai. She made my trips to JB fun BUT on any other occasion I've had far from pleasing experiences. ONE main occasion has burnt a negative spot of JB in my mind.

Running a week long event in JB a coupa years ago, the town reared its ugly colors showing me that the supposed 'lies' in the Singapore media of JB being a lawless city could have a grain of truth. It was one of those crazy stays where you think you're in a Tucker Max movie (minus the endless sexual debauchery).

NOTE - Pictures are random takes from the web.

DAY ONE - there is a riot in the mall when the crowd gets over aggressive over a cheap housing promotion. Riot police (FRU) called in. My staff are threatened by the some members of the public when they are asked for free t-shirts by passersby who see our promotion booth. They are threatend with:

1. "tunggu kat luar, aku belasah"

2. "you ingat baju tu emas ke?"

3. flips the bird at our promoters (this was a 60 year old man)

The riot police move in 2 hours later. Being consistent with the JB mentality, one of them struts over (after the crowd has been put under control) and proceeds to ask us for a free t-shirt. His response to our negative answer is similar to the badly brought up crowd stated above with the exception of the extra threat of a waving police baton.

DAY TWO ; My client pulls out of a road shoulder. The car behind him, obviously irked that someone has challenged his manhood, speeds up, chases him down and runs him off the road.

DAY THREE - someone throws a dead cat onto the car of my client's rep in the area of the apartments we rented for some of the crew.

DAY FOUR - we go to a club to destress. We have a large group with us with hot promoter girls and members from our outdoor adventure consultants. - We are given the stare down when we get in and are warned by the bouncer - "we don't care if it's your fault or not. Even if our regulars starts trouble with you, we are kicking your ass." We feel touched by JB hospitality and move on to another bar. Again we get the dirty looks so end up drinking beers in a Chinese coffeshop somewhere near the Duty Free zone.

The same night, one of our staff has his car scratched outside the hotel.

DAY 5 - My outdoor consultants, bored in their hotel, hitch up some ropes to their beds and abseil out the hotel window about 20 stories from the ground. I'm given warning slightly before hotel management finds out.

DAY 6 - I'm walking back to the hotel about 4am, after making sure everyone has paid our bill at the one club that would let us in. Something in front of me 'flows' onto the street. Its greenish yellow under the streetlight. My mind does not comprehend. I think its some sludge. Then. It rears it's head and looks at me. Again my mind does not know what I'm seeing. My body is still walking towards it. I'm sober I know that. I look about the street and there is no one else there to verify that I am looking at a HUGE motherfucking snake in the middle of Johor Baru city. After about a minute, it recoils back into the darkness. My mind is still numb. Wondering how a python could get away chilling out in the concrete jungle.

The next morning I look our from my hotel (the Pan Pacific) and see a huge undeveloped land right next to the hotel (this was about ten years ago).

This was just some of the main incidents - we had other shit - love triangle among our vendors, an agency sending in some young bimbo to seduce my stupid outsourced event manager so he would bungle up our project, the last minute and almost daily hops into Singapore to help out another colleague there with another project AND being set up by the scum customs officers at Tuas who made us pay them money for not filling up some vague form (the currency declaration form which was outdated. When I showed them proof that I did not have to fill in the form when I used the Causeway they said "it lain, Tuas lain" followed by the threat they if we didn't pay they had the right to hold us for 6 hours. Since we were driving back and were already tired from a week long stay in JB, we settled up paying the clown RM150 to stop hassling us.


So JB. There is not real reason to go there. AND it's true in some areas that Singaporeans are hassled in JB. I've Singaporean friends who loved coming into JB and on to Melaka for golf over the weekends. They've now stopped as they've been extorted twice in JB and so have some of their friends. Even the cab driver who took me back to the airport admitted that the sense of lawlessness perv ails in SOME parts of JB.

What DOES one do in JB? Cheaper accommodations for day trips into Singapore? Golf in Pulai? I've not other idea man.

AH CHAN! sorry i accidently published the unfinished post on Sunday morning!


ahchan said...

something police security something snake?

Chindiana said...

sorry ah? accidently uploaded when belum siap.

ahchan said...

sorrighttt... i thot it was one of those guess the sentence using pictures.

JB got not hospiterrarity hahahahah

Chindiana said...

hmmm.... good idea? maybe if i can get sponsors i do one contest.

JB got no love for me man....

Nex said...

Best thing about JB is Singapore...

And Holiday Plaza...

Chindiana said...

Holiday Plaza? you mean Dodgy Central?