Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Daffodils

I haven't been writing as prolifically as I used to. The current project has kept me in a state of extreme tension filled grumpiness that would shame a castrated rabbit. This was succinctly
pointed out to me by Angiechong last night ironically during a screening of Tantarino's Inglorious Basterds.

"I'm not in the mood"

"Just write about something. Anything. Something happy!" she chirped sunnily. "Like flowers!"

An uncomfortable 5 seconds of silence ensues.....

"I dont know anything about flowers woman. Which one do you want?"

'Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........ummmmmmmmmmmmm..... how bout daffodils?"

SO.

Here we are.

Daffodils.

Are yellow. I think. Maybe sometimes blue when they they have too much whisky. Daffodils grow in less humid conditions as I've never heard a woman in Malaysia ask for them by name. Except for blog post requests to the most famous unknown blogger in Malaysia. They're probably all the range in Europe and the US of A.

The buggers grow in God's good earth that is being screwed up the ass by the the Lord's most favored Children. In the future it is certain that we will be witnessing the rise of a mutant breed of daffodils created from contaminated soil and acid rains. They will have 4 legs, raise up to about 4 feet tall (what? you were expecting Godzilla like proportions? C'mon this is real!), will learn how to operate heavy machinery with panache and are somewhat creatively inclined, often claiming credit for the invention of colored contact lenses. Daffodils are all called Bob as they are able to converse with the world only in Jamaican.

Sometimes they like to sample the happy hours at Brussels as the Hoegarden special is especially pleasing. Otherwise good old H20 in any form will suffice.

Daffodils posses the charm of playful kittens therefore making great flirts and the occasional FUBU. Having said all that daffodils are know to be somewhat hopeless romantics when it comes to Jennifer Aniston movies.

Sometimes in the wee hours of the morning before the sun breaks the sullen darkness of the pre-dawn night, Daffodils can be see practicing the ancient art of 'tai-chi' under trees in the park with a boom box softly playing Mariah Carey.

Daffodils. A wonder of the world.

Fin.

8 comments:

Josie said...

Daffodils posses the charm of playful kittens therefore making great flirts and the occasional FUBU.

???!!!!

dude, are you high?

Chindiana said...

depends on how you look at it Josie that's why it's labelled under No Coffee Rant :P

Ah Chongzzz said...

Wah Chindy! Very cryptic *expressed with a knowing nod, squinted eyes, turned-up pout* with a touch of Tarantino.

Might as well be about weed or poppy plants, eh?

ah lim said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Chindiana said...

Ha, Ah Chongzzz! I haven't even started on poppy yet!

Nex said...

I wandered lonely as a cloud...

zewt said...

interesting proposal you had there are june's blog...

Chindiana said...

Nex! getting poetic eh?

Zewt! Do I count you in on our plot?