Sunday, September 27, 2009

When Snakes Take over paradise

Overbooking at Kinabalu Mountain
How does one had over the management of a Unesco Heritage site to a private company that marks up all services by more than 150% to 200%?

How is it with the increase, hikers up to Mount Kinabalu turn up at 9,000 ft and find out there is no space to sleep?

How is it that the boys from Sutera Harbour who've taken over from Sabah Parks, blame conflicting online booking programs?

Why is it that the government should pay to set up a new and more expensive integrated programs for them?

Why bail them out? How did they get the deal in the first place? Are the guides and rangers better paid?

Native Land
Nex, correct me if I'm wrong - Native land titles in Sabah cannot be transferred to off spring upon death? The government takes it back? I don't take it many natives sit in your state gov building eh?

Anyone got any anti-grumpy pills?

The Radio After Midnight

Why is it they play great music when almost everyone is not listening to the radio? I arrived home about half an hour ago but ended up sitting in my car as Light and Easy played the Commodores Night Shift, Reminiscing by The Little River Band and Fairground Attraction's Perfect one after the other. I would've stayed in the car longer if that beer i had earlier didn't insist on leaving so soon after the party started.

Format radio has killed the soul of music. We're force fed Lady Gaga, Rihanna and every wannabe gangster rapper with his own clothing line. The 'DJ' in the station pretty much just fills up space in idle chatter while the pre programmed shite that's been dictated by the higher ups jams up the airwaves.

Do you think anyone will say "I gotta watch Lady Gaga/Rihanna/Beyonce before I die" ?


U2? Definitely.

Akon? Only when pigs start piloting commercial aircraft.

Damn, I sound like my father.....

Must check the Menopause Clock...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Twinkle Twinkle Various Indian Versions

Wahahaha! I can't pick out how many styles there were besides from the state of Kerala and of course the Punjabi finale.

And dont tell me that Punjabi version didn't crack you up!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The Honest Scrap Awards.

Well, well, guess what? I've been bestowed the Honest Scrap Awards by fellow blogger Carlos from Austin, Texas.

It's basically the same as getting tagged but here you list down 10 things no one knows about yourself. Carlos has rocked the system by making all this recipients to only list down 9 soon NOT to be secret facts about themselves.

Since I'm going to be a famous blogger and need to show a penchant for the brilliant, I shall now make every recipient of the Honest Scrap Awards for Asia to list down 8 hitherto unknown tidbits about themselves. Carlos dude, if you're reading this, 8 is THE lucky number in Asia, especially among the Chinese. It's literally translated to 'luck'.

This is going to be weird. I can't say to much as you'll all figure out that I live a dodgy life wrestling toy bears before breakfast... D'OH!!!!!

Here goes:

8 things you folks don't know about me.

1. I've been told on the rare occasion I snore, its like a bear trying to give birth to a camel that's got Shaquille O'Neil tied to its ass. DISCLAIMER - I only snore if i'm drunk on whisky which is rare. Twice a year only!

2. I listen to Kylie Minogue when I'm stressed at home. She makes me happy :)

3. Transvestites scare me. A little.

4. I 'borrowed' a wine barrel from a pub once when no one was looking.

5. When I expect someone to royally fuck up AND THEY DO, it really REALLY pisses me off. Don't ask me why. It's like I feel like they've disappointed me by not upping their game. I then proceed to quietly drown my pissed-offness in several pints of Guinness.

6. In my whole life clubbing all over the world, I've had my ass squeezed in clubs or bars on various occassions to a grand total of 2 women, 2 gay men, 1 straight man and one 6 foot transvestite. I did accept the tranny's offered Heineken though. Never turn down free beer. PLUS she was in a sari so I could prob outrun her in case she wanted her reward.

7. I have a low tolerance for bratty kids. Give me one of those Nerf guns with the suction darts and put the little punk on the other team...

8. I have this habit of singing/humming Chantal Kreviazuk's version of John Denver's 'Leaving On a Jet plane' just after i check into any airport in the world. Of course it's out of tune and normally young children and animals in the immediate vicinity start dropping into a state of coma.

There you have it. Painless no?

AND as is the wont of these Awards, I have to nominate 8 of you to spill the beans on your deepest darkest secrets. I'm going with a list of folks whose blogs I regularly read. Aaaaaanddd the unlucky victims are:

1. Nex - my old buddy from 'those days' whose living in paradise and yet bitching about having to spend a weekend in a mall with hot Filipino women

2. S'wak - The customizer extraordinaire and movie geek! And that's just his hobby!

3. Jun-E - the PHD student who will one day be the Secretary General of the United Nations and finally clean up this shit hole that the planet is turning into

4. Han Solo - one of the earliest blogs that I used to visit and my teh tarik kaki whenever she gets back to KL. Sorry missed the last few rounds Solo - Selamat Hari Raya yo.

5. Sam (Wak this way) - A Malaysian stuck in Ireland with a beautiful wife, a great practice and a cool photographer! Get's a bit nervous when Balinese old ladies say "picit, picit?" :P

6. Farah - One of my oldest and hottest friends who got me started on blogging! Farahsiva yo!

7. Ashley - deep thoughtful and suddenly getting very generous with the word 'fuck' in her blog posts. Damn, I'm a bad influence on the young...

8. Josie - my hiking kaki with the rest of the Kuantan Rescue Rangers.

Hey Carlos, sorry it took so long man. I wanted to write this with a clear mind. Too much stress lately.

And to the rest of youse, get to it! I'm coming over to your blogs for a Raya visit soon! :P

Selamat Hari Raya to all of you who are celebrating this auspicious day today!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Indianrod Down

Its not often you get a recollection of one's moment of near death accident. We met up with Chewbaca better known among the biker community by his call sign Indianrod who had survived a crash near the Karak highway. He had been leading a group of bikers along the popular road when a Toyota Vios who was overtaking some other vehicles cut into his lane. With no where to go Chewie jammed his brakes, the bike jerked onto its front wheels and catapulted Chewie flying into the air. The Vios hit the bike which spun 3 times in the air. It hit his riding partner behind who also crashed. Chewie landed on his ankles which thankfully did not fracture but were instead sprained.

Below is Chewie's recollection:

All I remember was thinking everything was beautiful. The winding road, blue open skies, green trees.....

After that its like a blank, the only image before that of waking up is like those old TV shows where you get static. I only remember opening my eyes and wondering why am I on the road?Stephan is over me asking me if I'm OK?

I only remember asking him impatiently "Why did we stop here?", completely unaware I was on the ground after sliding on the road for about 15 meters. I am thinking we had stopped for a rest. I realize there is suddenly a crowd about. I must have been out for about 15 minutes. Slowly i hear the other dude lying next to me. He's screaming in pain as he had dislocated some part of his arm. Stephan is alternating between the both of us checking if we are OK. I feel OK but a little disoriented completely blur that I had a broken collar bone. The pain has not hit me yet. I can't stand as my feet feel like rubber bands.

We're then taken to a hospital where my buddy lying next to me on a gurney is being placated by pain killers. Then....slowly..... the fucking pain hits me. Its like a thousand needles attacking my bone. They x-ray me and find out my collar bone is broken. It's going to be a long fucking month man....

The seat area where Chewie sat was completely destroyed. Imagine if he were still in it...

In typical cowardly Malaysian fashion the driver of the Vios tried to take off leaving the two injured bikers on the road. Fortunately the car couldn't move far as you can see above. He was stopped by Stephan the third biker who avoided the crash, who held him till the cops arrived.

The accident spot. Note the Vios on the left side.

Point to note, the Vios driver also made a police report blaming the bikers even though there were witnesses and the skid marks on the road to prove otherwise. The police were impartial and actually treated Chewie as if it was his fault.

Keep cameras on standby and take on site accident pictures folks. DTA.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Need to get a life...

Long weekend ahead. everyone is hitting beaches, bangkok, bali, hong kong, skiing, diving, shagging on white sand, 5 star hotels, condos, boats and rafts, beds, mats, and on the back of mutant bats. And me?

I'll be working. At home. with a break to maybe take a shit. i might even have time to wipe my ass....

damn, i definitely need to get a life...

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'm destressing with.... SCANDAL

4 cute rocker girls. In school girl uniforms. Playing their own instruments AND singing. In Doc Marts.

Only the Japanese would think of this.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

McCurry Rules Y'all!

The first thing on my mind is how VIncent Tan let his lawyers convince him that he had a case with the flimsy argument. You would have to be smoking some serious weed to believe that chicken curry tasted like a chicken burger.

This was a classic case of a huge corporation thinking that they could bully the little man on the street with high powered lawyers in slick suits. What they now get is egg on their face and a PR disaster for a company that prides itself on its wholesome family image.

Although from what I heard, the owner of McCurry did get a phone call from the Golden Arches HQ in the US congratulating him on his victory. Good damage control. At least they were better advised than their Malaysian counterparts.

GO HERE for the complete news coverage.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


So what happens today?

The tides of the ocean recede?

Do Malaysian drivers behave less like drivers from a demolition derby?

Do I grow more hair on my chest?

Do WOMEN grow hair on their chest?

Samy Velu going to change his toupee or whatever that dead animal that he has glued to his scalp?

Oprah will finally coffee with David Lettermen?

Will my apartment magically clean itself?

Will 2 weeks of unwashed laundry grow a pair of legs and march itself down to the 'dobi' dude?

All of youse that went to the lottery to buy 9909 aren't going to strike as too many people have bought it already. Think some counters have stopped selling.

Just another day folks.

Monday, September 7, 2009

I'm not fussy. REALLY

Why do you guys keep saying that? AND I'm NOT BLOODY GAY! I think i've already posted something along these line but I still keep getting this.

It's not like I've cut off 'Lil Chindy' and pickled him in a jar that I put next to my tooth brush. I have been dating. I do go out with women. Yes, the type born with vaginas thank you very much.

And what can I say. Most of the cool women that i like seem to have been pocketed by smarter men early on in their lives. The rest just want to keep me in a cage labeled BFF. I'm like that gay friend but one who can also punch up a snatch thief if need be (well I'd like to think so).

All I'm looking for is:

1. Sense of humor - she can make jokes whenever i accidentally fart in the car

2. Worldly - we can talk about over rated banking systems to debating that the reason they created the black Spiderman outfit in the comics was because some of the artists were starting to get fed up of drawing all the webs on the original blue and red costume.

3. Self confident and strong - this is important AND also selfishly shallow. A confident secure woman tends to look after her self - gym, dressing, etc. Also she's decisive and independent. I think those who think this in not important should head down to the Scarlett Lady Bar in Puchong and look for horny fossils trying to grope Fanny and Apple. Where's Mrs Horny Fossil? In her petticoat, hair tied up in a tangled mess, bitching to her sister over the phone about one of those Desperate Housewives.

4. Has decent amount of grey cells - does not think that Tiffany's is a diner in New York.

5. NOT full of herself - busy checking her hair or adjusting her dress when I'm being gang banged by a bunch of drunk transvestites along Lorong Haji Taib.

See not bad right.


I'm not fussy.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Chopstick Sabers!

Chopstick light sabers by Japanese firm Kotobukiya

Holy Midicholorians Batman!!! Lucasfilm's licensees are really getting creative to exploit every potential licensing right out there where now they seek to assimilate world culture into the Star Wars universe. Eating wan tan noodles will never be the same!

What will they think of next? Wookie Persian rugs? Celtic Darth Maul skirts? 'Space' Asteroid Muffins from Amsterdam?

Available in kids and adults sizes with choices of Vader and blue Luke and for the kiddies you get to grab those fish balls with Luke's green lightsaber.