I've been pushing myself a bit over the last week. I'm behind on getting fit for Mount Agung. Have upped the ante - 3 hours of futsal on Monday (fuk i cramped up), 90 minutes of yoga on Wednesday, about a 10 hour hike up to Gunung Nuang on Saturday and ran about for about 2 hours playing paintball on Sunday (i accidentally shot a kid when i saw movement behind a tire and shot off a coupla rounds instinctively only to hear a whimper and some crying. Hope i'm not going to hell for this cos the little runt shot me in the ass in the return game)
I did not realise how much i miss this. The satisfying whisper of the remnants of adrenalin and the settling in of sore muscles after a shower (while i cuddle up with a hot water bottle - another reason to have a girl friend?). The mind's alert and I feel like I can take on anything. It's a good tired. A satisfying and honest feeling.
It had been a bad week and a worse weekend. Too much crap to mention. Suffice to say its a combo on work and personal crap fests that crept up and bit me on the ass.
I was even in a shit mood before today's futsal.
2 hours later. I feel better. Sweat. Honest sweat has washed off the pain and frustration. The fuker who was trying to con himself some under table money is going to be sorted out. No reason for an old bastard to be corrupt and be stupidly amateurish about it. I'm short of man power and yet I dont have the budget to hire. Not now anyway. But it was good to hear some friends are willing to step in and help (for the price of a jug of beer. Cheap labour is good yes?:) I need to put in at least 14 hour days until mid October. But I know now that i need this. To burn the shit weight off my shoulders by running, climbing, futsalling, whatever it takes. Everyday. Not 3 times a week. Every. Fucking. Day. This was me in the past. I was hoping to find a new life and career wearing a shirt and tie with fancy titles. But its not me. I know that now. Its made me dull. I've lost the edge. The open skies keep calling me out of the window every single day.
Great. Hope I'm not fucking menopausing.