Monday, August 24, 2009

Holy H1N1 Batman!

Demmit! This sudden explosion of infections in the country caught me off guard! Its now everywhere. What seemed to be a potential hazard only if you were sitting next to some infected clown on a plane has now turned out to be a menace lurking in every corner waiting to pounce faster than pervert at at lingerie model buffet.
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H1N1 sounds a tad impersonal. If they want to strike fear in someone they've got come up with some term or name that will make your balls cringe with fright and scuttle up your ass.

You get typhoons called Mimi and Amy. No wonder everybody stays put and gets their house parking it's foundations on the family cat's head.

You gotta go out there and scream out "Typhoon Undertaker is coming! Get the fuck outta Dodge!!!!" Or "Flee you twats! Hurricane Hellspawn is descending upon us!!!!"

H1N1? pfft.... 

Just put up "The Plague of Apocalypse  Arrives!!! Mask UP PEOPLE!!!!" THEN you're going to get folks shitting their pants and covering up with all forms of linen. Of course it DOES leave us to this little thing called panic and chaos in society.

I was quite blase about using masks. The office has left one on my table. 

Will it work? 

Will i look like a retard? 

Would it bring out the color of my eyes?

I fly to Brunei tomorrow. Almost 4 hours with strangers, all potentially suffering from some form of ailment, from a transmutable disease to a pimple on their left butt cheek.

Next Monday I fly to the Philippines. Another almost 4 hour flight. Another chance to be attacked by the Plague of the Apocalypse.

The mask sorta looks greenish. So if I smile under it I may look like a Ninja Turtle (but who wrestles bears before breakfast). It should break the ice with the COO I'm meeting on Wednesday. Maybe we'll both be wearing one. We'll bond in our moment of fragility over our fear and distrust of the very air we breath. He will look at me, our eyes meet over the slightly heavy breathing through the cheap surgical masks from some dodgy pharmacy. Fuck... where the hell am I going with this.....

SO...

To mask or not to mask?

Now THAT is the question... 

9 comments:

ah lim said...

wear the mask lar. pretend that you're a superhero or something. hehe

Chindiana said...

Not likely Ah Lim, if it means i've got to slip into spandex. Not after my balls got molested by that tight pair of bicycle shorts LCB gave me.

Ally Bedhouin said...

Draw a Joker smile on the mask then wear it. It'd 1) suit you, 2) be an icebreaker and 3) chicks might dig your sense of humour!

Chindiana said...

Ally!

1) Thank you -_-

2)Icebreaker or one way ticket to Tajung Rambutan?

3) MIGHT being the operative word.

S'wak said...

Marketing folks should seize on the opportunity to make more appealing masks. What I keep seeing on the streets are people that looks like they're gonna clean a huge toilet mess or attend to a toxic spill. I'd rather wear something that looks like Rorschach's mask, or Snake Eyes hood or the mask Sub-Zero/Scorpion weares in Mortal Kombat. Now that would kick ass.

Chindiana said...

Malaysians innovative? doubt it. they'll prob wait for some Chinese suppliers to come up with the creative masks so they sell cheaply. But then we wont see Rorsch. More likely Hello Kitty or a coupla Power Rangers.

LCB said...

i had a meeting with a guy who wore a mask...just damn weird , its like talking to Optimus Prime!

Chindiana said...

That MUST hv been weird LCB. Kinda no respect ler or super paranoid. If you were fevering up you wouldn't be there.

Nex said...

This guy has the right idea...just needs fine tuning a bit...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v483/drago_x/SW%20Stuff/H1N1Mask.jpg