Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Don't Agro, Chill Bodoh

Dear Sir/Madam,

Re: I mean you no harm

If you see me signaling and moving into your lane it is because I am changing lanes to pass:

a. A stationary vehicle parked on the side (normally an 18 wheeler whose illegal immigrant driver is passed out from pulling a 48 hour shift)

b. Overtaking a slower vehicle (a Datin driving the Harrier that her husband bought her to distract her from his excursions to the Pink Lady Lounge)

c. Planning to make a turn (not all roads lead to the Great Malaysian Mega Sale)

I AM NOT however:

a. Challenging your person/ego/self worth/

b. Disrespecting your family or ancestors

c. Trying to slow down your progress for your meeting with Fanny and Apple at the Pink Lady Lounge

d. Getting in between you and that cute little hottie in that metallic grey Vios that you were tailing for the past 5 minutes hoping she would be impressed by the mamak table sized spoiler on your Kelisa.

AND please don't worry (as I can see from your sudden manic action of bursting forward like a bat out of hell to cut me off), my car cutting in front of you will not result in the following :

a. You getting fired from work

b. Seri Kembang loan sharks mistakenly throwing red paint on your gate

c. Your husband cheating on you with Fanny or Apple (although I hear Apple has this thing she does with a vodka bottle... never mind...)

d. A purple Teletubby growing out of your ass

This act of kiasu-ness is normally reserved for Singaporeans. We are Malaysians.


The Singaporeans think of us as slow and laid back. Lets at least give them that on the road.

Laid back I mean.

Go too slow and hog the road and then I'll get all agro on your ass too.


S'wak said...

I feel your pain, dude. That's why I'm saving up for a Tumbler. They try that maneuver on me and I'll unleash the rear Stinger missiles on them. Then its Hasta la Vista, baby... no more Pink Lady Lounge for you.

ah lim said...

HAHAHAHA! I like this post the best!

Chindiana said...

S'wak! Tumbler + Stinger missile = one less Ah Pek in the Pink Lady Lounge? Acceptable. At least now the ladiezzz will entertain poor sods like me who buy beers instead of Chivas. Um... not me,... haha. A friend. yes they won't entertain my friend!

Ah Limzzz, thanks! its from the heart. heart burn i mean every single day i get on the roads with these clowns.

ah lim said...

I would say that Malaysian drivers have this 'Queue' mentality. It is like when you stand in a queue, that slot is yours. No one can or should jump in and take that space. So when you try to turn into 'their' lane the Queue Mentality comes into action and they quickly accelerate so u won't take their spot.

Either that, or they think the road belongs to their grandfather. heh :P

Chindiana said...

How come no one told me about this'queue mentality' thing?

And i'm sorry, ALL roads belong to ALL our respective grandfathers OK?

Nex said...

That's EXACTLY why I never bothered to re-paint my car even though the paint is cracked and dry (sounds familiar? :P)

Try to cut me off and your Kancil/Harrier/BMW/Vigo will have a nice long scratch PLUS you'll have to pay for my car's repair bill since YOU rammed into me.

Chindiana said...

Another reason I would be cautious to drive like a madman in Kota Kinabalu esp with your Death Machine on Wheels patrolling the streets...

Chindiana said...
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