Sunday, July 26, 2009

Cleavage

Man, not good. I used to be quite good at not staring. I mean you normally just give it a once over, make a judgement call,

a. "Pushup/maximizer. Mine bigger..."

b. "Man, I wanna REALLY.......!"

c. "HOLYMOTHEROF GOD!!!"

d. "Oh.... high chest bone. Moving on..."

.... and move on. I normally do a good job of not staring at the shouting boobs of an obvious attention seeking woman UNLESS it's someone who I don't expect to see with jugs. Then I just keep flicking over to see where the hell they came from. My aunties should not be showing cleavage, the office accounts clerk who drives that beat up Kancil should give us warning that she borrowed that dress from the Sales/Servicing Manager and tomboys should not have cleavage in the first place (I keep expecting to see industrial masking tape across their chest).

I haven't been out clubbing in a long while. The extent of my contact with women in the past 3 months reads - colleagues, my PA, my staff, surly stewardess, 'tudung-ed women in office and at events, old lady with face mask at airport, young lady with face mask at airport, surly immigration woman with face mask at airport, marketing manager in demure office tailored suits (and if she's flying on a business trip, with a face mask).

SO I ended up in Zeta Bar with some friends. And proceeded stare like a retard Smurf backstage at a Victoria Secret's preview. This was not good. it took me a good 15 minutes to get my darting eyes under control. (that and 3 shots of whisky - it was someones birthday). I settled down but was deeply let down by my seemingly Neanderthal gawking.

Anyway I figured that since women use the visual impact of their bobos to test a man. You can imagine them thinking when they see :

a. Stares like a deprived maniac for 3 hours - "deprived maniac."

b. Looks at tits while talking to her - "Loser only interested in my 'girls'. Doesn't care if I'm the regional manager of marketing."

c. Looks at her friend's tits while talking to her - "fuker can't even give me face....."

d. Pays complete attention after giving said chest area a once over - "Hmmm..... there's hope. Lets see what car he drives first."

e. Pays complete attention to her, compliments her matching shoes and hand bag while never leering at her boobs - "gay... ."

So it's OK to look. It's what you do after that makes or breaks your man ass. In Zeta, the girls at the table probably went - "never give face.. Even if he's got a nice car I think he's a gay retard mother..."

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