Monday, June 22, 2009

Transformers - Revenge of The Fallen Movie Review

You leave the movie theater with a feeling of mental overload. It's typical Bay - explosions galore, frantic camera angles and Megan Fox. Straddling a chopper. Straddling Le Beauf. Running. Running in slow mo. Getting leg humped by a tiny Decepticon turncoat.

The attempted comic moments are lame. Bay has no heart. Just friends with huge budgets. So the light hearted moments do come across as cliched or strained. But....

As Peekz said "I need to watch it again."


Well, it has some of the best action sequences this year. It has giant robot slug fests that are furious and violent. It has car chases and more tanks, guns, gatling guns, laser swords, gutting, disemboweling than any other movie in '09 (and these are just the robots kicking each other's ass).

The robot to robot fight scenes are not really well done. Too much close ups and too many urgent camerawork leaves you confused trying to distinguish the diff between a Transformer's head and his ass during a fight scene. The complex robot designs don't help especially in close ups. There is just too much going on.

The bottom line?

A typical fun summer movie - it just checks all the boxes. BIG ACTION. HOT SEXY WOMEN. BIG HOT EXPLOSIONS. Great fight sequences in cities, forests and deserts. Go watch it. Have a few frozen margaritas before just for that extra buzz.

Some random thoughts:

Megan Fox is SEX.

Spielberg should dump Le Beauf as his Muse. The boy has the on screen presence of a used condom. Indy 5 with Mutt? Disaster. The Transformers franchise should dump him for Megan Fox who has more balls and screen presence than Muttboy ever will.

Megan Fox is SEX.

Pity they turned Jetfire into a grumpy geriatric fart - they seemed to want to cater to 6 year old boys here for the light laughs. C'mon, turning a Blackbird spy plane into a joke is blasphemy - the first Transformer I know with a beard. WTF...

The Primes look like Lego Bionicles!

I await Transformers 3: The Fall of the Mutt and Rise of the Fox.


mangrish speaker said...

i'm not even reading the entire article. as soon as i read transformers on your title, mind is on automatic drive to scan quickly for 2 wo... no make that 3 words.

Megan. Fox. Tits.

been watching the trailer for this. all i can see is her bouncy tits when running. RUN MEGAN RUN

i'm not a homo i just appreciate fine art.

Chindiana said...

Mangrish! So you're a woman eh? A newly minted Scouser p'haps?

DOnt worry, Megan Fox MIGHT go down Jolie territory and end up a sexual beacon to both genders and the gay folk too. Bouncy bobos optional.

mangrish speaker said...

100% woman plus more. not minted nor a scouser but a malaysianese.

sadly for me i haven't watched the movie yet as a) must watch in cinema dontch have dvd cetak rompak here and i dont fancy going to the cinema with anyone else but my other half or 3/4 quite what you would most likely say, and b) not sure if i want to go with the other half as my uncontrollable jealousy might just cause a spasm of my fingers jabbing his eyeballs out at the speed of bruce lee.

decisions decisions...

p/s: by the way i don't normally do word verification but cannot miss this one it's too surreal:

word definitions apply in too many a way:
muck (mk)
1. A moist sticky mixture, especially of mud and filth.
2. Moist farmyard dung; manure.
3. Dark fertile soil containing decaying vegetable matter.
4. Something filthy or disgusting.
5. Earth, rocks, or clay excavated in mining.
tr.v. mucked, muck·ing, mucks
1. To fertilize with manure or compost.
2. To make dirty with or as if with muck.
3. To remove muck or dirt from (a mine, for example).
Phrasal Verbs:
muck about Chiefly British
To spend time idly; putter.
muck up Informal
To bungle, damage, or ruin.

Chindiana said...

My, my Mangrish! - the advantage being Malaysian - we get earlier previews than most of the world because of our notorious pirates, Still haven't figured out how that works.

And you have time to look up 'mucks'?

S'wak said...

This movie was an epic FAIL.

He supposedly makes this movie for the kids, and yet fills it with crude, toilet humor, sexist images and racial stereotypes.

And did you notice that Michael Bay was trying to paint Obama as the bad guy? The annoying-as-hell liaison was there on the President's orders addressing the President concern. And in case, you're wondering who the President in the movie was, the news report halfway through the movie confirmed it as Obama. Way to go, Michael Bay.

Chindiana said...

S'wak! What to say la? we know he's not the best director around. Just astounds me that he keeps getting massive backers for all his projects - Pearl Harbour, The Island.... .

A lot of folks I've spoken to are planning on watching it again as they felt they missed something. I wonder if they will still feel the same way after the second or even third viewing.

This is strictly pop corn stuff.

ghoul said...

Got to admit, at a lot of scenes, i had my eyes glued to the foxy lady ... bounce, bounce, bounce.

Mama Mia :P

Word verification: hysit