Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Suit On A Sunday

I had to wear a suit today. For an event. For 6 hours. I now sit here, a psychological rash on my ass the size of Madagascar (penguins not included).

85% of my working life has been spent in jeans and sneakers. When a suit is called into action it thankfully means a special occasion. Very rare. Haley's Comet rare. Heaven forbid if I would have to wear a suit to work everyday. I can only assume that I would develop a Hyde personality that would ninja kill kittens with splinters from disposable chopsticks.

But it then brings me to sadly acknowledge that this is a fickle, material world we live in. Folks judge us by what we wear. First impressions ARE a deal maker/breaker. Recently I bought some shirts that I liked from some upscale shop in Bangsar (sale - 50% off!) Only LATER did I realize that these were shirts meant to be accessorized with cuff links. Cuff links. I hear that to some women they can be as heady an aphrodisiac as the sight of a set of keys to a Ferrari (its a SIGN of your Ringgit Rating or social taste and standing. C'mon who ever heard of a hobo with good taste?).

Anyway, being blessed with the mental capacity of of a 6 year old I move toward the direction of a pair cuff links in the shape of pewter rocket ships (very retro cute. seriously). A friend of mine makes some disapproving sounds.

"Umm...."

"What?"

" Those aaahhhh......"

"Look I'm not getting you a pair dude!"

"NONO.............yeah,.... well at least someone in your position you can pretty much wear whatever you want. I wouldn't recommend any junior executives of mine to turn up for a meeting with Tin Tin rocket ship cuff links."

"WTF.....?"

"Seriously bro, LOOK at these things...."

I bought them. And for my next meeting with my buddy with HIS staff I'm going to wear it and flash it around the room. No one disses Tin Tin's rocket.

The clothes make the man. Only if you're a junior little droplet of executive sweat struggling up the corporate ladder. If you're the emperor, well, pretty much anything goes doesn't it? Richard Branson could turn up in Raquel Welch fur bikini at any BBQ for fund managers and folks would still shove cash down his fur lined underwear.

I've gone into meetings with people openly looking at the watch on my wrist, the brand on my shirt collar lining, peeping through the window to take a look at my car, etc. Is that what's we've come to? To judge on face value? To place one's faith in physical appearances when it is the easiest to change and adapt to? You can't take the asshole out of a man but you can sure hide the asshole from other men with a well cut suit, shiny shoes and a borrowed car.

I've had experiences where women who had no interest in me perk up and give me the once (twice, thrice) over whenever I bump into them after a key meeting where I had to dump the Levi's and Nikes for a shirt and tie. They normally would then suggest catching up for dinner/drinks/coffee soon. In normal circumstances it would be, "say hi to your plants at home for me sweetie!" followed by an airy wave of a well manicured hand before they run across the street.

I'm told I clean up real well. Actually no, its this suit and tie thing that makes EVERYONE look good ESPECIALLY if they never, or rarely put it on eg, an orang utan, Bigfoot or me. Then the shock factor kicks in and you're in like Flynn. Sin in a suit and you still look good doing it. Ninja kill kittens with chopstick splinters in a suit and you're cool. Chat up your best friend's wife in a suit and you're just a devilish rogue. If I were to wrestle a bear in a suit I would get voted the next president of the United States (it beats swatting a fly yo!). But then again who REALLY wants the responsibility of that job? If I SAID I blogged in a suit would you think of me as a classy blogger or just a retard? 

Yeah, that's what i thought...

10 comments:

C. Andres Alderete said...

I have a pair of silver Batman shield cufflinks. If I could wear them every day, I would.

Chindiana said...

Andres! You have fine taste sir. Most excellent.

If only folks chilled and saw the world through our eyes we would all be living the lives of Buddhism practicing Jamaican Rastafarian monks.

Nex said...

Unfortunately even a lot of 'us' (i.e. Buddhism practicing Jamaican Rastafarian monks) take what should be a leisure activity waaaay too seriously... :/

ah lim said...

maybe the girls wink wink at you because u look hot in a suit than in your jeans and sneakers. :P

btw, i don't own a suit and i now wear cargo pants and collared T to work kakaka. too costly lar suits and it doesn't make sense to pay so much for something you wear a dozen times in a decade.

Chindiana said...

Nex! Rub it in you beach bumming mountain man you!

Ah Lim, I'd like so see your wife kick your ass at the altar when you turn up in those cargos man... :P

farah siva said...

got a cuffed shirt or not? go get one now. :p

Chindiana said...

got one - sleeves too long cos i petite. need to tailor make and up the glam factor :P

Nex said...

Sometimes (again, I strongly stress the 'sometimes'), I miss those days when my work needed me to put on a pair of Italian Cut Gabardine cotton trousers, a Hugo Boss dress shirt complete with paisley pattern silk tie, step into a pair of Bally, and topped off with an Emporio Armani jacket.

Aaah...the younger days...

Chindiana said...

YOU Nex? in Boss AND Armani?????

You musta made the earth move dude...

Nex said...

Yup, hard to imagine eh?

You've seen the Armani but the Boss was retired long before we met :P