Sunday, May 3, 2009

Budget Travellers

OK I'm back. Its been a crazy hectic past couple days since I had a lot of catching up to do after my week of traveling.  The week of traveling on AirAsia as usual reminded me of the gap between travelers of budget carriers and full service airlines.


DISCLAIMER : Many budget travelers are still relatively new to traveling on airlines. Many of them just are not familiar with the evironment surrounding air travel. More so immigrant workers or village folk whose grasp of the english language is non-existant or even only speak in their local dialects. There is also a different group who by a fault of nature were born retards or were badly brought up by their parents where the meaning of good manners went the way of the dodo bird.


Begining of rant...


The flight from Clarke Field to KLIA's Low Cost Carrier Terminal just re-introduced me to my favorite pain the the ass travel companions - The Budget Airline traveller. I've bitched about some in the past, this is just an addendum and don't mind me I might tend to ramble on a bit today.


So the lady on the PA in the departure lounge announces "boarding from rows 15 to 21, I repeat rows 15 to 21 only." Of course in true nature every mother lover and his cat gets up and makes for the head of the line like it's the last call for Noah's ark(except for a few seasoned travelers still nursing a coffee at the bar)


It's as if the PA system was an interdimensional communicator where a normal human speaks, "rows 15-21" and in the Dumb Ass Universe what comes out is "every 'so hai' please rush to the head of the line now! And dont forget to bring your cat too!"


They stick to the line even with repeated reminders from the lady that it's only row 15-21. And the look on their face is priceless when they get to the gate and are informed "row 15-21 ONLY". they go "Oh.......???" Look confused, look around them, mumble some shit and then shuffle off to the side. This of course is multiplied by at least 10 other retards in the line EXCLUDING the two families with the head honcho man who only speaks Swahili or Enuit.


And then you finally board and you know trouble is brewing. The plague of Asses That Are Dumb hits in groups. You get some people who look confused not knowing seat number 45 B from 27 C. Maybe its a numbers thing but they just stand in front of the wrong seat staring at their boarding pass almost as if they are WILLING it to change to the seat they want. Until:


1. The person with the correct seat numbers approaches and tells the said numerically challenged passengers to fuck off.


2. A harassed stewardess comes over and points out politely that "this is NOT your seat sir" and actually point out where they are supposed to park their dumb ass.



How about those who bug some mat salleh to move to their seat as they want to sit with their friends WHILE OTHER PASSENGERS ARE STILL BOARDING??? ? These are men mind you. Why the urgent need to sit with your buddies on a flight back? Just to chortle conspiratorily about which big boobed bar girl who shagged the night before in that dodgy bar in Angeles or Subic? It can't be THAT urgent that you cant wait to get airborne? what are you going to do for the balance 3 half hours back to KL? play testicle ping pong with your mates?


The most annoying - those who look confused at the charges that could be a down payment to a sea side bungalow when they check in their surf board, scuba tank, golf set and that pregnant camel they bought at the road side flea market. C'mon PEOPLE!!!! BUDGET AIRLINE - they make money on your bad planning...... And then there is always some debate to bargain down the price as if they were in Chinatown trying to buy a face Rolex.


I tend to not line up behind the following :


- large families, always some bloody discussion at the counter, 


- people who look like they are carrying a dead camel in that big ass suitcase becase you just know that spawn of a wet tampon will start up a hissy fit and want to 'debate' his sorry ass out of paying the extra baggage charge.


- Young mat salleh surfers, wake boarders, extreme athletes, etc.  Slightly more well to do. Will be traveling with heavy gear which will of course hit them by being overweight. More drama proceeds as they realize how much more they have to cough up and they start to unpack stuff to distribute to their hand carry baggage while you watch from with your eyes rolled all the way back to your ass.


Man, more trips to come in the next few months. Need to find peace.


Sigh.....Love yourself, Love the world Chindy, even the idiots....


11 comments:

Wak This Way said...

Vent, my friend, vent.
I hear you.

You know the part about boarding my rows? Well, in the past I thought, yeah, why the bloody rush, after all ya got numbers. Then I realise, if ya don't get on early, some mother fucker is gonna take your luggage compartment. It happened to me, I had prebooked my seat closest to the exit because I wanted to exit the planes a.s.a.p by the time it lands. Then this happened, some shithead placed his stuff on my already so small luggage compartment and in the mean time,the only space I could find was about 5 rows back. So when it was time to disembark the fecking plane, I had to wait for people to clear the aisle before I could reach my bag. So much for getting off the plane real quick. I had to wait an extra 20 minutes (as it was trying my patience, I'm sure it felt like an eternity)

So now, unless I'm in no rush, I just join the damn queue. What? Row 20 izzit? aiya, didn't know. sorry sorry. I wait here hah? no? fuck you too, I come later, and then I fuck you again.

Wak This Way said...

Just note typos etc etc. Feel free to edit the post to correct em as I can't do it myself.

Chindiana said...

Haha! Sam, typos are welcome here!

Ah yeah the storage compartment hijackers! I've had them before but not on this flight. It cant beat once I put my bag under the seat in front of me and the piece of @*###*! sitting in front of me actually turned back and said" Excuse me that space is mine as its under me" Sigh, obviously they allow inbred hobbits on board planes nowadays. WTF is the world coming to...

ah lim said...

wah lau... sounds very stressful!

Nex said...

So AA no longer practice free-seating anymore?

Dang!

Chindiana said...

Ah Lim! stressful only if you let it get to you la and as i'm perpetually grumpy....

Nex! Yeah now a little bit more order during boarding. What you miss barging to the head of the line big man? :P

haha and word verification today: ledeming

Nex said...

Yeah I prefer the free-seating thing.

I can get the seat (and storage compartment) I desire by standing at the front of the line as soon as I get into the departure hall, and be the first one to board right after those so hai who paid RM20 for priority boarding...

Frederick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ghoul said...

Going to Australia and thank god, it's on MAS :P I can't stand AirAsia either for long flights.

And MAS is not that much expensive anyway :)

word verification: mujiin

ah lim said...

actually AA had to do assigned seating because they wanted to fly to India and Indian aviation rules is that airline must have assigned seatings. so to comply AA had to change the system.

Chindiana said...

Wah! inside info from the ex AA man! Thanks Ah Lim!

I can see why, can you imagine the chaos when you try to board a plane in south asia with a free seating rule - 300 meets Titanic...