Conversation in a mamak stall (a worrying sign that women get FAR too comfortable with my company without wanting to jump my bones or be the mother of little Chindian babies that wrestle bears before breakfast)
"Dammit Chindy, my breasts shrank two sizes!"
".............., um, OK."
"It's even too small for my old bra!"
"aahhh...maybe its cos you're working out like crazy in the gym."
"What's the point!!!! My ass is still huge! Look at these hips! What's the point of having small tits when they overshadow THESE (gestures to hips)!"
"ummm... yeah well i'm going to order another teh halia. You want?"
"huh? no la. Seriously la, at least when I was chubby I had my boobies..."
"aahh, yeah ok... 'BANG! teh halia satu? kurang manis ya?"
My Monthly Phone Date with the Streamyx Helpline - YESTERDAY
I call and get through to a human after being put on hold for about 15 minutes. Conversation lasts 3 minutes before being cut off. I call again. Repeat.
I call for the THIRD TIME. Am lucky. I get through.
"I'm using my office's MacBook. I need to find out how to configure to my Streamyx account so I can get online"
"You are using Window's XP Mr. Chindiana?"
"No dude, its a Mac. It runs on this Mac OS. I'm a tech idiot so dont really know anything about this fucking machine. Sorry man it's pissing me off..."
"So... no Windows XP?"
"-_- ..............., NO."
"OK you go to preference, then you yadadadadad and then you yadadadada and then you....."
"Dude I think 'we're on different wave lenghts here man... These things are not here on the screen.....
"Can you hold Mr Chindiana?"
"Huh??? ...OK.... SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHHHHH........"
timepassingbytimepassingbytimepassingby..... attempt to pick nose then realise study window open and neighbors can see so stop and play with the Lara Craft action figure on table while...
"I'm sorry but to install on your Macbook you have to go to TM Point and ask for the installation CD."
-_- ,........."dude.... you coulda told me that at the beginning man. And TM Points are only open till one pm on Saturdays right?"
"Correct sir. So you can go on Monday. Is there anything else I can help you with Mr. Chindiana?"
"No thanks........... Thank you."
"Thank you for using TM Net Steamyx and have a nice day Mr Chindiana."
My shoulder blades are feeling like two two pieces of knotted up dried meat. I think too much time hunched over the laptop is taking it's toll. The whole body feels tired and worn as if I spent the night in a marathon orgy of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Pathetic now that that in reality yesterday was filled with trying to salvage work from my recently screwed lap top with intermitten sessions of watching the entire first season of the Disney X-men cartoon on DVD. Heading off to see the Foot reflex and massage dude down the road.
Trying to get used to this bastard MacBook. I hear from SOME that it's better than sex, which means SOME Apple people need to understand that sex doesn't mean trying to ace that Squirrel Mounts The Deer on A Winter Morning position from the Kama Sutra OR the application of copious amounts of lubricants.
I am trying to conqueor this cursed Apple machine although I am now tempted to shove it up the ass of the next college part timer who tries to sell me a Streamyx subscription (will require copious amounts of lubricants)
This FRAKKIN' HEAT
So hot that my privates are pleading from a reprieve from the heat. I hear them whisper "please master, buy a sarong sir.... Burn the briefs sir! Sarong me Oh lord and master! Sarong Me!!!!"
"OKOK, you stop sweating like a water buffalo and I'll go get one at the pasar malam."
Worrisome sign when one starts to talk to one's privates...