Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Women! Pay Attention To ME!

I'm only saying this because I have heard this almost same sorry story from 5 women. I normally post when I have 2 examples but this one, I have 5 in the last 2 months.

What's the story morning glory eh?

Men.

Men. Batangs. Who behave like menopausing divas, like insecure selfish pansies. Men. MEN. My SPECIES who are giving the rest of us manly men (who wrestle bears before breakfast) a bad name.

AND, it's ALSO about smart, beautiful women who put up with this crap in the name of,
SIIIIIIIGH...... LOVE, that little punk Cupid's bane.

Since somehow women think I am wise and patient (ladies if you see me nodding sagely, its probably the Guinness) AND some take me as their substitute gay BFF, I've heard enough of this nonsense. AGAIN I love you all. You know it BUT hey there are 5 of you out there with similar tales SO let me repeat again and please spread this out to all your girl friends out there. For these are wise words as I've only had 3 pints of Guinness.

OK:

1. If he wants to take a break but still wants to come over for comfort shag - SELFISH WANKER. Will be selfish for life. Will take you for granted and will take you entertaining him as a weakness and will keep trying his luck in the future. He's likely to shag that 18 year old Indonesian maid when you're 60 and playing mahjong with the rest of the geriatric Yaya Sisterhood.

2. If you're dating a man who is openly seeing someone else and yet he tells you he doesn't like you going out with other guys OR that he doesn't like you partying or anything along these lines - SELFISH INSECURE HYPOCRITICAL WANKER with a 2" dick.

3. If he tells you to sacrifice for him - sorry babe, you're dating a reverse transvestite. Old Skool Rules interpretation maybe, but a man just gets the job done. Done. Or he fucks up trying. Not f whining about it like a little girl. AND the very reason he's asking you to sacrifice is BECAUSE he knows he stands a good chance of getting his way. SELFISH MANIPULATIVE WANKER. Likely to blame you for unreasonable things like Man Utd losing to Liverpool.

4. If he's not decisive and behaves like a blinkered mule on roller skates at key decision making situations - MAMA'S BOY. Will put on his Invisibility Cloak sneak out the back door and hide in the MPV whenever you and the mother in law are engaged in a Woman Of the House smackdown. Worse, if he takes her side, then this is where you take that wedding ring, tack it to a durian and shove it up his ass.

But seriously, whose fault is it?

It's your emotional insecurities ladies. You only have yourselves to blame. You're that deer blinking in the headlights of that Mac truck careening towards you. You stay put hoping that driver will change course for you. You think he will? Or you HOPE he will?

SO, if you think that that dude is just plain using you please feel free to just bolt out that door. We men have a habit of NOT knowing a good thing even it's sitting on our head hitting our thick skulls with a sledgehammer and by the time we realize it you've left us at the point of no return.
Then the idiot will come back crawling, making promises of not hogging the TV every EPL Saturday night or spending more time with you and whatever shite makes your day. But he will keep forgetting the loss over time. He WILL go back to bad habits. Its just a matter of how much, AND how much YOU let him get away with it.

AND so in conclusion if you still have wanker man problems and want a real man (who wrestles bears before breakfast) to show you a good time please call 1800-CHINDIANA.

18 comments:

ghoul said...

I'd like to say more, but i can't... but i think i'll fit into that last category... yeah, I am undecisive, and i cringe at the day when the two women of my life start fighting...

*runs and hides*

word verification: cauxond

Chindiana said...

Well Ghouly, at least you're an honest ghoul... :P

Jun-E said...

hahahaha...
i like that real man who wrestles bears before breakfast fixation.

would comment more about the wankers but nothing much to say but they suck and those who are not - feel free to contact 1800-JUNETAN as well. alents!

Bedhouin Alison said...

Chindy, I think you have lost your mind. Call 1-800-Savemystupidass for help

Chindiana said...

Jun-E! Heh, thanks. actually have used that reference in the past but everyone seemed to miss it!

Bed Ali! Why the hate girlfriend?

winniechan said...

because women when they were young stupid impressionable girls grew up watching disney's someday my prince will come and BELIEVES in it.

because women (and men) are meant to accept the other-half's flaws. start nagging and you MIGHT end up as the old hag you chindiana you refuse to shag if you know who i am talking about.

because women are wired to put up with tossers, lament about it to others so that they look like mother theresa with such a noble heart taking in the rejects of stronger sperms, loving them unconditionally (which by the way doesnt mean not moaning about it) and allowing persecutions of the medieval-love era.


because we're worth it... ALL of it hahaha

Chindiana said...

"because women are wired to put up with tossers, lament about it to others so that they look like mother theresa with such a noble heart taking in the rejects of stronger sperms, loving them unconditionally (which by the way doesnt mean not moaning about it) and allowing persecutions of the medieval-love era."

AMEN to that Ah Chanzzz

And YES, you're all worth it.

And NO, I'm not shagging someone to erase all your past bad memories...

Bedhouin Alison said...

Chindee, I have not ever been jilted, nor have I spent a second bemoaning the loss of a dumbass boyfriend. Ever.

I just thought you knew better than to go on and on lecturing women, whom you generously lumped into one group. We are not all needy, whiny, stupid, naive, gullible bitches.

And no, I am not a lesbian. And no, it's not hate. It's concern.

And yes, I am who you think I am! Hahahahaha

Chindiana said...

you seriously need to chill babe AND learn to read a personal blog without interpreting it by your own personal views.

just my two cents of course but I'm just a stupid ass :P

Oh and not bad reaction time. Tot you'd only come in guns blazing around lunch time today. At least the message got across...

Anonymous said...

Someone still loves you, Chindy... (so, do I get the Karmasutra for free? *wink*)

Chindiana said...

Anon! The only one who loves me is my momma! Whose ever heard of free Karmasutra? Spesel price can! :P

Nex said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nex said...

"We are not all needy, whiny, stupid, naive, gullible bitches."

Now that sound very familair...Ah yes, I once heard it from a woman who tried to con me with her 'sugar trap', but I turned the table on her, introduced her to a 'bigger fish' and last I heard, the 'big fish' convinced her to become a prostitute for five years to pay off his gambling debts...

Hmmm...I wonder where she is now...

Chindiana said...

Nex, you quite evil also...

Sam said...

Come on Chindy, this all sounds like a prop yourself up venting process.

1. Why do you spend time listening to these women? When they talk, do they really care if you listen to them or they just want to use you as some kind of cheap psycho therapist substitute?

2. Do you care? Do you really care? Do you really really care?

My suggestion is tell all these 5 ladies to dump their fellas and then arrange for them to show up at your apartment at the same time in some future date. Surprise them with an inpromptu orgy! They'll love it! They'll love you more for being so daring about it! Women love bad guys! They do, they really really do!

Don't just listen to them whine, do something about it. Show them a good time!

Chindiana said...

Sam! actually I DID tell some of them to dump those fellers and go out with me. This was immediately followed by loud laughter followed by manic rolling on the floor. So I guess that busts my chances of an orgy...

And yes I've heard many times that this bad boy act works. I shall start as soon as my psuedo goatee puts in an appearance (having half chinese blood makes this extremely difficult!)

farah said...

i like ur last comment chindi. hahahahahahaha

Chindiana said...

Glad you liked it Farah esp it IS the truth! wahahaha!