Tuesday, March 31, 2009

15 Things A Guy Will Not Do Even If He Knows It Will Please A Woman

So I'm a cheap ass see. I forget to buy birthday presents for my friends see. So I tell them since I'm going to be a world famous blogger some day I shall WRITE them a a blog post dedicated to them. Ingenious no?

So I ask Claire the Cheerleader what topic she would like me to blog about. I'm agreeable to anything except the topic of menopausal camels.

"Hmmmm..... says the vision of loveliness on the other side of MSN, "OK, how about 15 things that guys will not do even if he knows a girl would like it?"

There is a disturbance in the force. I just touched on women and relationships recently and stirred up a crap storm. Fear embraces me, fear of Alison the Baudouin and her pack of dessert ninjas waiting in the dark...

Anyway, if I am to be famous, fear cannot prevent brilliance SO today's blog post is dedicated to Claire Bear the Cheerleader and the hottest woman I know to lace up a pair of Nike football boots. Happy Birthday Claire!

15 Things A Guy Will Not Do Even If He Knows It Will Please A Woman

1. Tells her he loves her. Not the over the top lavish ones that a guy uses just to get some action but the little ones, the unexpected ones - early morning when she's getting ready to go to work, in the car, waiting in line for that delayed Malaysian Airlines flight...

2. Just buy her those bloody flowers already - sure they'll die but you get accumulated brownie points when you eventually screw up.

3. Follow her shopping for that dress to the office party (she's wants to look good for her man)

4. Tell her that pasta that tastes like a charbroiled Ewok is actually decent (telling her it's fantastic is just plain inviting trouble because she's got taste buds too)

5. Go watch a chick flick with her if she can't get the Yaya Sisterhood to follow her for that Jennifer Aniston flick. You can barter with her for an Underworld 25 screening later.

6. Open the door for her. Really. Just. Open. That. Door. Any Door - car door, restaurant door, Even that door into that fearsome LV boutique...

7. Pick up that underwear from the floor. Yeah it's your house and all that but they don't get as turned on seeing underwear laying around as much as we do.

8. Take out the garbage. Yeah every night even better.

9. Give her the TV remote without behaving like a menopausal camel.

10. Keep house clean. Yeah it's your house and all that but it's symbolic of you and all that...

11. Keep the Toilet Clean - this is a special case especially as I found out last year women think men have appalling hygiene and our toilet is symbolic of this. They will never use a toilet in your house if you've gone in first to bomb the Kingdom of Armitage Shanks no matter how much you clean and flush after that...

12. Spend some time at her parents/family voluntarily if she invites a guy to meet them. If he can pull this off without looking constipated all the better.

13. Asking her to call your mum as you are too lazy to do it.

14. . Spend time on her in bed. Do the massage bit, the butterfly kisses thingamajig, take time to enjoy that body by NOT jumping on her like a Wookie in heat all the time

15. And of course going down on her and not making it seem you're undergoing Japanese Water Torture

So there you go Claire, Happy Birthday (sorry belated). This is the longest list I have ever done!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Bukit Batu Tabur UPDATED

UPDATED 29th March 2009.
It was bound to happen I guess. Bukit Batu Tambur IS dangerous. I've been going there for the past 7 years. I've been amazed that there have been no untoward incidents. Well things have changed now.

Those of you who've followed me know that one wrong step and some poor sod would have to scrape you ass of the rocks at least 100 meters below.

I went there about a month ago and sure enough - 1 death and 2 more accidents (punctured lung I think) all in the space of maybe the past 6 - 8 months. More gruesome is the recent deaths of the two doctors who fell nearby (go HERE for more).

I've never liked going there especially with large groups. More importantly there were groups who are not wood crafty or understand the outdoors. BBT IS DANGEROUS. Many of the rocks are coming loose. The soil is soft and unstable especially after the rains. There are too many people there who don't respect the terrain. How many times have we seem groups climbing up vertically right behind each other. One clown falls and he takes the whole circus tumbling down 200 meters of limestone. I also see people just grabbing at branches and rocks without testing the strength and stability.

There are many warning signs now but I still see too many people taking it as a fun day out. The main rope climb down now has an alternative route where you scramble down the brush with the aid of more ropes so its not so bad. Now the challenge is negotiating on coming traffic (normally the more experienced climbers or regulars who sometimes tend to bully people off the path - some not all. The majority are cool).

Anyway, it's still a beautiful place. It just needs the respect it deserves.

Original Post - 10.31pm, 10th October 2007

So the weekend came and I shrugged off the Saturday night's booze from 21 at Changkat Bkt. Bintang and woke up at a godawful hour to head out to Bukit Batu Tabur near the Klang Gates Dam in Ampang. The I'll Get Up In 5 Minutes curse hit me so Bart August and I started the climb up the hill at about 8.30am, a bit late as the sun gets hot at the top around 10am on wards. It took us about 2 and half hours as we were stuck behind this group with a whiney, moaning human being.

Its been two years since my last trip and I was relieved as it was just the two of us. All the previous trips was stressful as I would be leading herds of 10 and above where I would be waiting to hear some clown fall of the edge.

Bukit Batu Tabur is supposedly the largest quartz outcrop in the country. It acts as a barrier for the Klang Gates Dam. In the distance on a clear day, Genting is easily visible for all to see.

I'm a shit photog but I knew with the sun against me from the East, any pics of the dam wouldn't be sexy so instead I ended up taking more shots of the climb and some KL skyline shots.

Kayel in the distance and the apartments below where we would eventually finish our climb.

There were a lot more groups today compared to in the past. There were at least 8 people ahead of us and 3 behind. About 10 passed us coming from the opposite direction from the orchard entrance. (we took the entrance from the dam gate).

This is not a climb for dick heads so leave the macho bullshit at home. Caution would be the word for the day. There are 3 rope climbs and then the exit to the orchard on your left. If you find yourself at the 4th rope descent DO NOT climb down. Its almost a dead end and you'd have to scramble down in thick brush and mud and dirt and thorns and you get to do your best Swamp Thing impression at the bottom. AND dont' head right towards the Karak Highway - it doesn't head back to Ampang. Its tough and very, very steep and unless you've got Gurkha blood running through your veins you're not going to make it up again if you want to backtrack. And the path towards the Highway and the Islamic Unversity is leech infested and ends abruptly in the jungle. So you'll have to trash your way through thick lalang grass. A few years ago i found this out the hard way when I was in full on dumbass mode - imagine 7 clowns bloodied from burst overfed leeches trying to flag down a cab on the Karak Highway!

The Serani feller discovers religion.

Bart On Top O' The World.

Uuhhh...Bart slightly more On Top Of the World.

This is steepest free style climb. Looks tough but manageable.

My Sensitivity Shot for the day...

The shot of the rocky terrain we had to scramble along.

Moss shot.

Part of Ampang in the background.

Some cover from the blazing sun.

All in all this is the best complete workout for the body. You're climbing, you're working on your flexibility, you're using your legs while working on your balance. You get a great view of the Klang Valley on one side and the Karak Highway and its respective developments on the other and of course the calm lake waters of the dam. The air is cool when you under the brush and trees. Bring along some sandwiches and crack open a bottle of ice cold sugar cane water and enjoy one of the best views in town.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Earth Hour

Seriously? SERIOUSLY???

To show governments that the people are voting for Mother Earth??? Wow, we've got cool governments rights here because they will listen, cos they're Obama cool....

I guess they will listen won't they? Just because a couple of idealists and some celebrities got together to turn off their kitchen lights for an hour...


No, gentle folk of the Shire, Governments will be knocking back Chivas in some night club with Big Business. Business rules the world. NOT idealistic hippies. The very fact that that Malaysian WWF clown even EXPECTED 5 million people to sign up showed just how much he knows about his own country. How much did he get as of last Monday? 40,000??? You're a little way off dude... There are supposedly 4 million Manchester United fans in the country and 300 million worldwide. You shoulda just done a deal with the club to get all their fans around the world to turn off their lights instead of getting Malaysian 'celebrities'(I got an album, a movie out, a book and oh yeah if you need an emcee I'm free every other Tuesdays...)

When you sitting there masterminding your latest PR stunt, somewhere a developer just paid off a local councilman to de-gazette some reserved forest to turn in a luxury resort. When you were on radio telling people that signing up was symbolic and that they really didn't need to switch off all their lights, some factory just dumped some animal waste into a river that leads into a key water catchment area.....

So what if you turned off your air conditioning and vibrators? Its not like you're going to continue that everyday? It's just a farcical show. Just another reason to get together for a fad. Malaysians gather to collect money for Palestineans when folks in the rubbers estates live below the poverty line, they give to World Vision to sponsor a kid on Pluto but in our very states, state orphanages need more help that they can get....

If you must, turn off your lights at 8.30pm tomorrow. No harm in showy idealistic exhibitionism to feel part of a naive and idealistic charade.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Chindy Goes Places

Oh hey, forgot to mention that if anyone's flying on Malaysian Airlines check out my first article for Going Places in their in-flight magazine. YES, NO PROFANITY....

It's not really an article but more of a Top 10 outdoor destinations in Malaysia from the personal experiences of some of the most experienced outdoors folk in the country. Some of them I am proud to call my friends and the rest will soon be after we get together for those cold beers. Its on Page 54 and its called Great Green Getaways.

And next month (April) look out for the Muse column(which I wrote as Jim Brickman just for a shallow cheap laugh) in the very same fine magazine where I write a heart wrenching personal expose on how playing with Lego building blocks as a child moulded me into the fine gentleman that I am today. Grumpy BUT still a fine gentleman. who wrestles bears before breakfast :P

Here's the profile of the people I interviewed:

1. The great folks from Quick Release Adventures- the founders of the Duathlon race series in Malaysia and also the organizers of the Malaysia leg of the Powerman Duathlon international race series. They also organize many of the large mountain bike races in KL as well as being involved in the Tour of Britain (yeah, don't play play y'all). If you're keen on the races or just want to check out their events where men and women have no body fat check out - www.quickrelease.com.my

2. Diver Dude Nizam Mansor - Nizam the ultimate beach bum made good. One of the most experienced dive masters in Malaysia with over 700 divers certified. Can be found chugging back ice cold beers in Waikiki Bar when he's not holding courses, diving off the coast of Mexico or training super models at the pool at Luna Bar. Find Nizam at www.nizamdiveteam.com

3. Nomad Adventures - Yuen Li the owner is THE most experienced adventure racer in Malaysia. She has taken part in the Eco Challenge as well as the Raid Gaoullaise (think I spelt it wrong) as well as the Mild Seven Outdoor Quest. She used to run the Summit Climbing Gym. She now has a climbing school in Perak while organising white water rafting adventures in Kuala Kubu Baru. They're at www.nomadadventure.com

4. Erik Fearn - one of Malaysia's most experienced photo journalists. This easy going mat salleh takes some great pics and can be seen sipping afternoon teh tarik in Gasing Hill on the weekends. Check out his great pictures at www.erikfearn.com

5. Borneo Dream Travel and Tours - A bunch of English IT and banking professionals who gave up life in suits and spending it now running a dive ship off the coast of Kota Kinabalu. Cool or what eh? For diving trips in KK check them out at www.borneodream.com.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Chindy's Journal - The Fever Rants Continue

Chindy's Journal, 22nd March 2009. Woke up to a queasy stomach. Could not wait for noon to treat stomach to banana leaf lunch. Left for breakfast of 'wan tan' mee (which I find out later is one of the hardest noodles to digest). Made for Atria where the Warehouse book shop consumes my time.

Wan tan not settling well. Feeling nauseous. Head for public restroom. Father and two sons using facilities. Father whistles a tuneless racket to youngest boy's privates in the hope to coax out urine. Forget this was old custom even back in the day. I cough up phlegm and blow nose. Phlegm mixed with blood. Hrrmm... Not good. "Come on, lets go!" barks father as he walks out of toilet without washing hands. Both boys follow obediently. One more bad seed planted in unsuspecting minds by one who holds the future of his own bloodline in his hands.

Have company for lunch. Abandoned thoughts of spicy banana leaf to experiment with an organic lunch. Am pleasantly surprised it does not taste like cardboard soup. Stomach still queasy so walk nearby for foot reflexology. Am pleasantly surprised again as my masseur is a Malaysian. Which means my ailments can be conveyed effectively. And he is quite good. Bad misjudgement thinking all good foot reflexology therapists are from China.

I bump into old acquaintance. Been going through rough time. Went back to habits of pot and E last year. Would not listen to advice (note to self - using term 'stupid cow' on hysterical woman high on drugs not advisable). She's clean. Can tell. She's tough. Good people.

I must eat a solid meal. Stomach does not feel good. Blood still coming from nose. Must be body heat. Cannot seem to eat without wanting to throw up. I make decision to test the fates. I takeaway 'bak kut teh' soup with taufu and rice. The broth will make eating the rice palatable. I finish the rice. Stomach has settled. Body feeling better than yesterday. Tomorrow it will be stronger. Tomorrow I must talk to people who wear suits and cuff links.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Chindy's Journal...

Chindiana's Journal, March 21 2009. Seen dead dog in alleyway. Tire threads over burst stomach. Must have been Malaysian driver......

Fever subsiding, lack of food has made body weak. Buns and water not enough. Went out to seek nourishment of porridge. Stocked up on fruits as well. Have enough to last me the weekend.

Came home to surreal scene. Kazakhstan neighbors having picnic under shady trees in the apartment grounds. In ten years living in apartment no one has done this. Must investigate as seems there was substantial planning - they brought pretty cloth to lay on ground and picnic basket. Suspicious? Or is it Kazakhstan ritual to enjoy sunshine in the outdoors? Must pay them visit later for questioning although the men are larger than me and the women quite delectable... hrrm...never mind.

Decided to watch DVDs while on meds. Put in Wall E. Must pay visit to stupid robot. Retarded communication skills damaging chances with the white egg thing. Changed to Harold and Kumar Go to Guantanamo Bay. Put life in perspective. Stupid to take bong on plane though.

Meds giving me funny dreams. The Locusts from Halo 2 keep appearing shouting at me in what sounds like bad Hokkien. Not sure if they are asking for directions to Klang or ordering a plate of noodles. Disturbing as I don't even play the game.

Tomorrow I will treat myself to banana leaf lunch at Jaipur. Efficiently surly waiters make me comfortable. It will be my first solid meal since lunch on Thursday. I hope my dreams are better tonight with that thought. Shouting mutants just don't do it for me.

Fonejacker - great for a weekend nursing a Fever

I saw one of these on a friend's site. Checked some radomly and had a good laugh. Feeling better already!

This Darn Thing...

Damn, my lap top is heavy. It OK when making a run to the nearest Starbucks but i really can't stick it when i travel. My back will never truly heal from all the injuries so those overseas day trips is just pure hell on the old lower back. It's very misleading of course, the laptop feels OK at the beginning of the day but as meetings wear on coupled with the tango of airport/cab rides/meeting in high rise office/cab/high rise meetings and back to airport "please take out your lap top and place it on the tray sir" (Changi), the back starts protesting. It's as if a fat hobbit teleported into my mother board and was just sitting there chugging back frothy beers.

I'm hoping the evolution of the Macbook Air speeds up to take it out of gimmick territory so it eases the wear and tear on my back, which I badly need in good shape to continue those group orgy sessions...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Women! Pay Attention To ME!

I'm only saying this because I have heard this almost same sorry story from 5 women. I normally post when I have 2 examples but this one, I have 5 in the last 2 months.

What's the story morning glory eh?


Men. Batangs. Who behave like menopausing divas, like insecure selfish pansies. Men. MEN. My SPECIES who are giving the rest of us manly men (who wrestle bears before breakfast) a bad name.

AND, it's ALSO about smart, beautiful women who put up with this crap in the name of,
SIIIIIIIGH...... LOVE, that little punk Cupid's bane.

Since somehow women think I am wise and patient (ladies if you see me nodding sagely, its probably the Guinness) AND some take me as their substitute gay BFF, I've heard enough of this nonsense. AGAIN I love you all. You know it BUT hey there are 5 of you out there with similar tales SO let me repeat again and please spread this out to all your girl friends out there. For these are wise words as I've only had 3 pints of Guinness.


1. If he wants to take a break but still wants to come over for comfort shag - SELFISH WANKER. Will be selfish for life. Will take you for granted and will take you entertaining him as a weakness and will keep trying his luck in the future. He's likely to shag that 18 year old Indonesian maid when you're 60 and playing mahjong with the rest of the geriatric Yaya Sisterhood.

2. If you're dating a man who is openly seeing someone else and yet he tells you he doesn't like you going out with other guys OR that he doesn't like you partying or anything along these lines - SELFISH INSECURE HYPOCRITICAL WANKER with a 2" dick.

3. If he tells you to sacrifice for him - sorry babe, you're dating a reverse transvestite. Old Skool Rules interpretation maybe, but a man just gets the job done. Done. Or he fucks up trying. Not f whining about it like a little girl. AND the very reason he's asking you to sacrifice is BECAUSE he knows he stands a good chance of getting his way. SELFISH MANIPULATIVE WANKER. Likely to blame you for unreasonable things like Man Utd losing to Liverpool.

4. If he's not decisive and behaves like a blinkered mule on roller skates at key decision making situations - MAMA'S BOY. Will put on his Invisibility Cloak sneak out the back door and hide in the MPV whenever you and the mother in law are engaged in a Woman Of the House smackdown. Worse, if he takes her side, then this is where you take that wedding ring, tack it to a durian and shove it up his ass.

But seriously, whose fault is it?

It's your emotional insecurities ladies. You only have yourselves to blame. You're that deer blinking in the headlights of that Mac truck careening towards you. You stay put hoping that driver will change course for you. You think he will? Or you HOPE he will?

SO, if you think that that dude is just plain using you please feel free to just bolt out that door. We men have a habit of NOT knowing a good thing even it's sitting on our head hitting our thick skulls with a sledgehammer and by the time we realize it you've left us at the point of no return.
Then the idiot will come back crawling, making promises of not hogging the TV every EPL Saturday night or spending more time with you and whatever shite makes your day. But he will keep forgetting the loss over time. He WILL go back to bad habits. Its just a matter of how much, AND how much YOU let him get away with it.

AND so in conclusion if you still have wanker man problems and want a real man (who wrestles bears before breakfast) to show you a good time please call 1800-CHINDIANA.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Chin Beng

This post is 2 years old. I keep coming back every year to double check the location of my grandfather's grave for my impending Chin Beng or Cheng Meng (depending on dialect) visit. Tomorrow my aunt and I do our annual visit to see my 'Ah Kung'. Today I have a sudden realization that no one else in my family will be there to take on this tradition once my aunt is too old. My role so far is just as driver. My aunt shops for the paper gifts and Hell Notes to burn, the food, candles, incense and whatever else that's needed. She does the prayers and just prompts me to light the candles and place them here and there. I'm just a grunt.

My mum being Indian is not really into it and neither is my sis. My dad doesn't seem too keen on this anymore. So it's up to me now. Me. The fate of carrying on this family tradition lies on my grumpy, disgruntled ass. I can see Granpa rolling his eyes already.

How can i take notes? My Cantonese is bad, picking up half of what my aunty tells me. Even when I speak Cantonese it sounds like an Ewok chewing on some durian skin, so my aunt is half as likely to understand the gibberish questions coming from my mouth. I also am thinking, will these old dudes who still sell these things be still in business in 10, 20, 30 years time. Because by then I'll be the one shopping for a paper chest of Hell Notes to fire up and send it on the FEDEX to the Other Side to Gramps. Anyway these are things I've got to work out soon but as usual it's just me thinking way too far ahead...

11.51PM, 27th March 2007.
Did I spell it right?Anyway, I've warmed up to going with my aunty on our yearly early morning trips to the cemetery on the trunk road to Port Dickson. I used to hate it when I was younger, as my father who also hated crowds would make us leave Seremban at 6 am and get there just before dawn. It was awesome though. I'd see fires blazing in the graves around me and on the hill overlooking ours, fireworks going off and the overall festivities that would make the monkeys in the neighbouring forest agitated. Now it's a different scenario altogether. The rest of the family has backed out of going. I now find my aunty and myself the only ones on my dad's side making this trip to pray for my grandfather. As the infantile one in the group I'm assigned the sweeping, cleaning and joss stick lighting duties. She still wont let me burn the cardboard chest full of Hell Notes as I'll always be the careless kid who liked to burn things around the house. Darn.

It always starts with the minute of panic when we forget the location of the grave site in the rows and rows that lay in front of us. I try so hard to remember the procedures but short of taking notes I'm definitely not going to remember next year. Even though now as i type it down I know its clean, light joss sticks, pray, lay out food, put yellow and white papers on grave, burn cash and goodies, wait for Gramps to eat, pack up, pray and leave. And also that the grave is 6 rows down from the shaded rest area and 2 deep. Just as i know next year i will still be wandering down row 9 and 3 deep as i do every year.

I like it now because as it's up to me I go on weekdays at least 5 days before the official days. I hate the crowds and the horrendous traffic on the actual Chin Beng weekend. Its quiet and there will be maybe 3 families in sight. We go early so that when Ah Kung settles down to his breakfast of steamed chicken, roast pork, pink muffins, Chinese tea and fruits, dawn normally breaks over the hills and bathes the cemetery with a golden light. The skies are clear blue. The cemetery stretches out as far as i can see and is ringed by a rubber estate in the west and a hill that you can see the sea from in the north. When I close my eyes because the joss stick smoke is too strong I hear the birds sing as they fly about, the rooster in the nearby farm greets us from just beyond the trees and you hear one of the planes preparing to land at KLIA as a morning breeze mixes with the warm morning sun. The monkeys are long gone since the cemetery has eaten away at the forest as more clan folk shuffle off the mortal coil.

We pack up the stuff and Kuma pours the tea in front of Ah Kung's tomb stone. She prays to him and his two wives. The one he left in China and the one who's buried in Seremban. Today I eat my once-a-year brunch of 'siu yok' , steamed chicken, rice and hot brued coffee. If Mum or Aunty Kamala next door have tapau'ed breakfast then I have the additional hot roti canai and vege dhal waiting when i get back. Lovely.

As I pick my way out of the graves I find myself remembering the location of the grave with confidence just like I've done for the past 10 years.I think to myself "Aiya no prob la, so easy. Don't know how I can ever forget..."

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Selling Singles 101

Ever browsed those semi-dating applications on Facebook like Zoosk, Are You Interested or Meet New People or whatever it's called?

We all know there are a lot off disgruntled singles out there, but if you really want to get somebody's attention especially when you're competing against nubile 20 year olds who are posing in string bikinis OR expensive studio photos which can make Bigfoot look like Angelina Jolie, you really need to make SOME effort to catch a man's attention, which many already consider a mental sieve AND let's face it, the first thing on any guys mind browsing these apps is NOT looking for the mother of his children.

SO, you need something to make them want to click 'YES' or 'FLIRT' or 'LEG HUMP' or whatever it is you click on to show a person you think they are worthy of a step up in human interaction besides poking them or sending them a Galactic Garggleblaster on FB.

You do NOT put up some weird ass-ed picture that serves a random profile browser a warning that you could be a pot smoking, alien geek from the Planet Zorbag.

Here are some random samples of photos that some ladies have on FB date applications (or on their profiles, almost the same thing PLUS I'd hate to see what guys put up as pictures):

Cool, package deal - date one get the rest for free.

Hi, this is a self portrait and I've got only one nostril...

I'm seriously lost for words on this one...

Not a bad deal this. You've already got a friend that you haven't met yet.

Ah! She looks like a .....

The Doctor of Love?


Only geeks need apply?

HOLY SHIT! It's BIGFOOT! Wahahahah!

I really don't know man, why would a chick put a picture of Bean as her profile pic? Maybe it's prettier than the picture on her Planet Zorbag passport?

Uummm.... yeah OK. That makes it easy for us. At least she's clear about what she wants...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Zack and Miri

OK people, Zack and Miri Make a Porno is NOT A PORN FLICK -_-
Its charmingly funny and it's by Kevin Smith, the same dude who made Mall Rats, Chasing Amy, Clerks, Jay and Silent Bob and Dogma. Only one dick shot (dude going to kitchen to get something) and one or two titty shots (nothing more that what you would see in any other movie).

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Almost a Good Day

If I were a Sex and The City loving woman I would classify today as 'my alone time' day. BUT since I am a manly man who wrestles bears before breakfast, the classification of my manly day is almost CrazySexyCool. Weeelllll, make that CrazyCool. Fuckit... OK, OK... It was just COOL. But in a good vintage cool kinda way.

I got up early in the AM and ridge trekked Bukit Batu Tambur (more on this in a later post). It was a small group so covered it in about 2 1/2 hours and got off the ridge by 10.30am. This was followed by Indian food with hot rasam and fresh cow's milk brewed coffee. It was a chilly day so I had a second lunch of 'bak kut teh' (yeah you know you're just jealous.. :P). This meant catching Zack and Miri Make A Porno before sleeping like a Manly Man Who Wrestles Bears Before Breakfast. Then it was followed by some drinks with The Captain before going for Futsal where I just discovered that I actually didn't hurt my self as badly as i thought! Hurrah!. AND my knees have held up especially after that descent down Tabur! Hurrah! Hurrah!

Something is still missing though. Therefore it's not complete. If only there was..... . . . . . . Hmmm..., nevermind.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Watchmen - A Prejudiced Movie Review

In 2010, if the folks at the Oscars grow some testicular fortitude they will vote The Watchmen as the Best Movie of 2009. Simply because of the content matter and how they addressed it, simply because I'm a fan, simply because I've been waiting for this for a looooong time. A fantastic tapestry of a whodunit, political intrigue, a social commentary of our crazy, stupid fragile world punctuated by sudden bursts of violent action. The action sequences are 300 meets Once Upon A Time in China meets rubber costumed heroes. Far more violent a super hero genre than even Batman and any other super hero movie.

OK, I a fan of the comics. Watchmen changed my life. So I COULD be prejudiced. After reading the entire 12 issue run I canceled my subscription to X-men, who suddenly seemed juvenile (the multiple cover marketing gimmicks didn't help). Besides the stuff from Frank Miller, I stuck to Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman's work.

The Watchmen is the BEST COMIC BOOK OF ALL TIME. I'm not going into details. You've either heard of it or you haven't. This is not a movie for people who stay up until 4am watching Korean TV serials on DVD NOR people who think Rihanna and Jason Mraz are as fantastic as eating hot steaming 'bak kut teh' on a cold rainy night. You won't appreciate the 2 and 1/2 hour movie if you are one of those clowns who laugh out loud at an Andy Lau romantic comedy OR you're one of those women who tried to READ Lord of the Rings just because you thought Legolas was cute.

Snyder did a good job of adapting the comic. Of course the movie version seems to handle only a quarter of the complex plot but it's suffices. The changed ending is somewhat understandable as the original ending might seemed to far fetched without the back ground story. Somehow the passage of time doesn't make the threat of Russian nuclear attacks relevant with more people afraid of careless fuckwit bankers instead of all out military war fare.

And I love the marriage of cool tracks married to key scenes in the movie. How cool is having Hendrix's Along the Watch Tower, Dylan's Times They Are A-Changing, Nena and her 99Luftballoons AND Nat King Cole's Unforgettable and more all in a super hero movie?

I need to watch it again. Just to take it all in again. Oh, yeah gotta get me a Comedian blood splattered badge too.

How they looked like in the comics.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Lego Love

Imperial Cutbacks!

Sam ( www.samwak.blogspot.com) got me onto Mike Stimpson's Flickr site last week. It makes my action figure photo taking skills look like the sad efforts of a drunken bat. With a hangover. WITH bad knees. AND a lisp.

All I can say is that these pics are lovingly taken. And if I were a Hello Kitty giggling school girl, I would gush that these are "SOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTEEEEE!!!!!"

Go HERE for more great pictures!

Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Profile of People

You start hearing things like, The French, yeah they're like this and that, The Americans, the Japanese do this that way or they have these habits and that. In my line of work I've dealt with Brits, Americans, Japanese, Koreans, Australians, Pakistanis, people from ASEAN nations, Indians from the sub-continent, Indians in Dubai and Indians from downtown Sentul.

You approach a representative from each country differently such as when an Indian sub contractor points out to a swamp next to a river and says with conviction, " this is good place for our concert." , i just hold my tongue and nod sagely as I know the dude is not kidding. He means it. Sincerely. It's just that their outlook is totally different just like when an American contract document is airlifted by a C-30 army transport from LA and lands on my desk in all it's 30,000 page glory, when a Malaysian contract could run you to about 15 pages. Again different mindsets.

I WAS going to list down the list of the eccentric business habits of people from different countries BUT realized that I still have a couple more years left of corporate dealings so it might not be to wise since although this is a semi - anonymous blog, shit has a way of tracing it's way back to me.

SO, I then try to be a happy Smurf and think about what is positive about working with different cultures.

It takes a while. A loooooooong while. Then I realise, dammit, the positives of anyone ranging from any nationality is essentially the same. Put an Englishman, Japanese, French, Singaporean, Indian, Australian and a Malaysian, in a bar and they're all behave like a bunch of 12 year old schoolboys. You'll get the standard ingredients of male camaraderie, the intensity and passion when they talk about supporting a pissant poor football club like Queen of the South somewhere in Scotland, that cincai anything can do attitude if someone spills a jug of beer and everyone laughs and helps out to clean up the mess before ALL volunteer to buy the replacement jug (except the Indian who just then had to take a toilet break). In that moment, in that bar all these men could be cut from the same cloth. If the Malaysian got drunk and fell of a pier all the men would be there trying to save his hide. Except the Englishman who would be a little pissed off as he had to leave his Guinness or the Japanese dude who would be engrossed belting out "My Way" with the Korean and Chinese and missed the whole incident (major racial typecasting here!). But seriously, cut down to the core feel good instincts of any race and religion, if all of them were contented, if there were no fears or insecurities, we would basically behave almost similarly.

BUT throw in a business or office environment and everyone reverts back to their respective ways of dealing with a situation.

This even extends to the office environment. Where the office rat, pain in the ass, gossip can and ARE actually normal people but once they walk past reception they knives get sharpened, tongues start wagging and the secretary's cat gets kidnapped.

People eh? If only they replaced Human Resource with a Jamaican Rastafarian and held all meetings in the Company Bar and Grill then we would all be one big happy contented family...