Monday, February 16, 2009

Anti Bribery

A while back I attended a talk by this dude about corruption. Nice amiable feller but i came out of the talk feeling like either I wasn't given the full picture OR WORSE, we're looking at corruption in an entirely simplistic manner.

He spoke about the standard modus operadi of bribes. The women and cash and the temptations that exist all around us. He kept repeating that no matter what, all those involved would eventually get caught.

Again and again, he repeated in dramatic fashion, " no matter how much you take, you won't be able to get away forever. We will get you", as if the BPR/ACA was the government equivalent of Batman, Judge Dredd or a vengeful Powerpuff Girl.

aaaahhh, excuse me sir, .......


ohwasthatsomedudepayingoffacopaftermakinganillegalUturn?
or
Isthatsomedeveloperpayingoffthedisctrictlandofficeheadtocutupaforest?
or
Isthatmoneypoliticsorareyoujusthappytoseeme?
or
holyfrakdidyoujustpayoffthatcustomofficerwithalimitededitionOptimusPrime?
or
SothatlandisactualnativefarminglandbutifiknowtherightpeopleicanopenaStarbucks?

sigh.....

He said taking bribes is not the solution to life. Money is not everything. Nothing, he said, is more satisfying than, wait for it, WAIT FOR IT.........

coming back from a honest day's work and having your children run into your arms calling "daddy! daddy!" or better still your lovely wife to welcome you home with a hug and a kiss.

-_-

Holy Popsicle sticks Batman!!!!!!! I looked around the room. Could it be he had mistaken us for a bunch of Amish pre-teens, where the future of your life lies in eating copious amounts of vegetables and doing good onto your parents and family?

Do you walk into an alternate Happy Days universe the moment you walk through their office doors?

OR MAYBE, just maybe, they're hiding their true talents under a benign exterior. Just MAYBE they are secretly gathering info to take down the top guys. Smokescreening the public into thinking these guys are just a bunch of Bill Cosby rejects running about catching small fish WHILE they work with the FBI, Interpol, GI Joe and the Avengers to bring the BIG fish to JUSTICE. Just maybe they've wired up every traffic camera, mall security camera and all sort of public surveillance equipment to one monitoring post in some secure secret lair in Bangsar underneath the old Finnigans Pub? Ever thought about it?

Which means my cleaner service could be their agents.

Which means that kindly Indonesian woman isn't really looking at cleaning my Silver Surfer statue when she opens my cabinets and drawers to 'dust'.

Which means my laundry dude could be going through my pockets for movie ticket stubs and potential incriminating evidence like possible receipts from Bintang Palace Massage and KTV....

oooo...

Ummm.....

Our boys are cool. They are Avengers cool, GI Joe aces and even Autobot honorable. To tempt the Fates by taking bribes in Malaysia is just like spitting on the respective shoes of Chuck Norris, Wolverine and Vinnie Jones (pre-acting career). To THINK of giving our bribes is to call upon the vengence of menopausing Harpies! Yes, say NO to bribery!!!

NO!!!

umm...

Majulah A Anti Corruption Society Untuk Malaysia...

6 comments:

C. Andres Alderete said...

I accept bribes because I don't have a wife or kids, so really, there's nothing more satisfying than buying a hug and kiss from a scabby prostitute...with bribe money, of course.

winniechan said...

I'd sure like to hear what the fler thinks of the joke that is our Malaysian Police Force in this case:
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/7/11/nation/21793315&sec=nation

also I cannot resist adding the word verification bit here. kid you not it is pigru. if only it was pigs 'r' us instead. so apt for the story's subjects.

Chindiana said...

Andres! thats ONE way of looking at things! heh!

ah chanzz, with our local fuzz we can start our own blog on their misadventures!

Nex said...

Migrate lah...

Chindiana said...

Seriously Nex, is that your exact opinion after reading this post?

Nex said...

Yes, if I could, I'd have left a long time ago.

I don't want to be a 'pendatang' in the country I was born in, or have to bribe every government official every time I need to get something approved...