Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Universe Conspires to Out Me as An Idiot

The jam is shit. NOTHING is FUCKING MOVING!!!! It was raining heavily earlier and the light drizzle now sees the Federal Highway shit high in cars edging their way one millimeter at a time from work to home, work to a pub, girly joint back to home, coffee shop to futsal, office to a shopping mall, Starbucks meeting to massage parlour or the odd fish spa.

I pull off the Fed H'way and head towards Bangsar Shopping Center via Pantai Medical. The jam persists! Curses! I'm late for my meeting!

I hate people who make me wait and worse, I hate making people wait for me.

"Fuk man bastard, fuking move!!!!!!" The car in front of me wants to pull out. The car in the next lane stops to let the said car to move in. The fool in front of me seems confused and doesn't MOVE. Probably because in KL no one gives way and he's shell shocked and probably sent his own ass into a self induced coma.

I'm pissed, and frustrated and anxious. And. I. Am. Not. MOVING!!!!

It's an important meeting. I don't want to piss off a nice patient fellow. Frustration grips me and in my car I let fly, "C'mon laaaa COCK! He's letting you go LA FUCKER!!!! Please just FUCKING MOOOOVE!!!"

Something...

Something makes me look left....

...at the startled people in the bus stop next to my car.....

....who shared an angry Chindian's bitch fit because the Chindian forgot that he had his car windows half way down as the air conditioning was a bit too cold...

bloody hell...

6 comments:

CFC said...

Ah, its a Friday evening and the start of the School Holidays. Yep, you're stuck in from the moment you turn off the Federal Highway to the Jalan Pantai traffic lights slightly after Universiti Malaya. Man, I hated that one. Took me more than 25 minutes to cover 100metres.

Its lucky you did not use the Mid-Valley way towards Bangsar either.

I suppose there is another shortcut (not through Universiti Malaya) via Jalan Damansara (from Federal Highway to the Kerinchi link) and you have to use the Medan Tanduk way to get to BSC. A bit long, but it might just help you save a few precious minutes.

Chindiana said...

CFC! nah dont bother with mid valley to bangsar, i'll problem strangle myself with the seat belt in THAT jam...

S'wak said...

I hear you, brother! I have the same exact problem with other motorists on a daily basis. I can tell you one thing though: my profanity vocab sure has increased! For the love of me, I just can't seem to understand why some idiots would hog the fastlane driving at 60kmph, one hand out the window holding a cigarette. I mean if you wanna enjoy that fag, drive in the fucking slow lane, lah! That's why sometimes I wish I was driving Batman's tumbler...

Chindiana said...

Haha! I see you met the Driving Fag Man too bro! Hahaha! It's a loooooong way we have to go before we can even think about educating Malaysian drivers dude. First off we have to weane them off the tidak apa attitude . This in itself will take the sacrifice of many a virgins and coupla thousand head of cattle!

Nex said...

That's why I love driving my dad's Toyota Landcruiser MkII. Its old, its huge, its tough as nails, and it takes no shit from no one, not even the bigger, newer 4WDs.

It especially love to eat Kanchil, Proton and all other sedans for b'fast. And the occassional Merc & Beemer too.

ah lim said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!