Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ubud - Chindy Gets A Facial!

There were a few pieces like this around so I assume it must be very popular with breast pump sales men.

Gigit Waterfall.

We left Lovina about 10am after my dolphin 'experience' in the early morning. We headed up the mountains towards Ubud. Pak Nyoman told me we had to stop by the Gigit waterfall as it was beautiful and gorgeous and breathtaking.

Bottom line - waste of time. It's a tourist trap. Sure the waterfall is high but the pool wouldn't drown a hobbit puppy. And the 20 minute walk is LINED with souvenir shops. I grumpily told my guide that we had drains bigger than this shit in Malaysia and asked him to get me outta there. OK I was exaggerating with him but I had high expectations after his buildup. Not his fault though as its prob the highest water fall he's ever seen.

It was a great drive along the roads especially when passing the terraced padi fields on hills on the way to Ubud. Along the way we passed the Buyan Lake which caught me off guard, not expecting a lake in the middle of the mountains. It was quite nice except for the bus loads of tourists flocking all over the roads and car parks. I didn't feel like stopping so we moved on.

Actually the road through the hills and mountains looked like almost any small town trunk road EXCEPT that they were beautifully tarred. Something that Malaysians seem to find hard to upkeep - it's like pot holed roads are a requirement for roads here.

Again I asked Pak Nyoman to recommend me some good babi guling and we stopped by this warong along the road which was surrounded by a corn plantation. It was great. Good food amid the rustling corn stalks. Perfect! Cheap too! OK, I'm really pissed at myself as I lost the paper on where i scribbled the town right before this little stall was located. It was about 40 minutes South of Buyan Lake.

OK the name of this place was also on that lost piece of paper - its supposed to be the place where the King used to stop over or used as a holiday home. It was on the way to Ubud from the North. (Curses! If anyone knows what it's called please, please let me know!)

We reached Ubud earlier than expected at about 3pm. Finally after so many years I got to see what Ubud was like and what the fuss was all about. That's the thing - ain't no fuss in Ubud y'all. Move along now.... It's a place for couples to spa and shag. That's it. Maybe i didn't have time to hike around the area but for a solo day trip Ubud tried my patience. No frikkin' bars man...how come laaaaaaa!!!????? Just little restaurants all over the place...

I decided to wander around town to see if I could dig up a bar with some hot Japanese tourists. No luck. Lotsa old Japanese aunties with Japanese aunty hats.

I took a walk to the Monkey Forest. It was interesting and I must say it was like a mini production set for a scene from Indiana Jones. It had great statues, temples, rock monuments and most were overgrown with green moss that made the overall experience quite surreal. Not a very big area, I covered it in about 30 minutes. Of course having monkeys in the jungles of Malaysia and sometimes on the Federal Highway, I was quite blase towards the furry buggers but the Mat Salleh tourists were having a great time, "OOOOoooo! Look little Timmy, he's PEELING that banana!" What the fuck is he going to do with the banana la? Stuff it up his ass and sing 'YMCA' in Mongolian?

"Yeah baby, you take that robe off. I ain't looking. Promise..." -The Bathing Temple area.

The pathway just after the Bathing Temple. I couldn't go further as there was a monkey turf war going on. Note the scared Mat Salleh tourists in the background. I have to say these monkeys in the Monkey Forest were well behaved! They just went about their business with no fuss. No grabbing your shit, stealing your shit or just shitting on your car. Not like the gang bangers from Penang Hill or the hand phone kidnappers at Uluwatu Temple, South Bali.

Road side pork satay. Tried it. Not bad!

OK, here was a pleasant surprise. I asked the little kid whose mum was selling the pork satay for any trails around the rice fields and he told me to just head up the lane called Jalan Kajeng and there would be a nice scenery. I walked up the deceivingly named JALAN Kajeng for a bit. Its more of a lane. It tapered off into a dirt road. I was thinking that I just got tricked as the lane became smaller and on both sides there were small hotels and houses among what looked like a small jungle. The path snaked up a small hill and when I reached the top i saw endless fields of rice in the evening sun on both sides of the little path. It was fantastic! It was a windy evening so I just followed the path. It was far from boring as the path ducked and weaved up AND under the fields. There was a time i was in a small valley, following a small man made stream used to irrigate the fields. I felt like a hobbit on an afternoon jaunt in the Shire. I stumbled on a small warong by the fields and of course I had to kena a Balinese coffee as I watched the sun set over the rice fields. The path actually wound it's way back towards town so it was great as I hate to backtrack. It seems that this path is actually used by tourists as I saw some others on the path as well. I wasn't timing myself but it took just under an hour to cover the trail.

A Facial Virgin No More...
I was not that bored yet. I had actually walked 6kms from my hotel to the fields and back. It was just nice. No bars though so I figured when in Ubud do what the tourists do. I hit a spa (I'm a wannabe metrosexual now you see...)

My body didn't ache as much so I went for one of those oil massage thingies. I wanted to feel pretty and special...It was done in an hour. Only 8pm. Damn, what else. The lady recommends a aloe vera facial as I had just gotten down from the mountain and looked like I was sun burnt. What the hell...OK....

I got to admit I had no idea what the hell was happening. She covered my eyes with some soft wet thing so I only had my ears and nose to tell me what I had gotten myself into. First off I heard her boiling some water. Thought she was making some tea or something. Then all this stuff was applied and wiped off my face and then... and then I nearly shat my pants!

Suddenly I hear AND FEEL the boiling water next to my ears and face!

"watdafukWATdaFUKWADAFUCK!!!!! she's fucking going to boil my face!!!!!"

So okay, you women can get back on the chair now. Look, I've NEVER had steam treatment on any part of my body OK? What did you expect me to think? I clenched my arse cheeks so hard when I mini panicked that now I know why I couldn't take a crap for 2 days.

Well that's Ubud - go spa - better yet go to an expensive spa, pamper yourself, read a book among padi fields, spa some more, have sex, spa, hike, spa AND have sex (they give couples an extra 20 minutes after your joint sessions to shag in the rose bath so don't just sit there scrubbing each other's backsides). The handicraft is not as cheap as they say it is. I saw cheaper stuff up North. There is another area near Ubud for cheaper stuff but I can't say where of course. Not without payment.


Anonymous said...

Not bad! I will come back to read more soon

Chindiana said...

Thanks! Cheers!