Friday, October 31, 2008

Why Ban Yoga??? What the Hell You Morons Been Watching?

Can someone tell me who are these people that come up with this crap? Muslim AND church groups now have found a common enemy - The EVIL YOGA EMPIRE!!! Let us descend upon this enemy with the righteous wrath of the ignorant and narrow minded zealots!!! Yoga corrupts and destroys....

C'mon fellers, tell me what have you REALLY been watching?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Stamford Bridge



"Stamford Bridge, Chelsea?"

"What?", asks the London taxi driver.

"Stamford Bridge Chelsea, there's a football convention there!"

"Why?"

"um... It's a football convention?"

"No mate you don't get it, there's no football in Chelsea. Nothing to do with football at Chelsea!"

"Um...OK.. Thanks..."

"Ha! Ha!", he laughed. "Get in mate, we'll talk along the way!"

"Tiu....." (he was an Arsenal fan)

Only in the UK. ONLY IN UK, where football defines your blood. Where the badge on the chest of the shirt could almost be made out of the hearts and souls of a club's supporter. Where an ice breaker or face breaker depends on how you broach the subject of football. Malaysian supporters take note you tits - football is life NOT a fashion brand that it seems to most of you. Make my day, go into any pub in England and sing the praises of United or Chelsea. Bask in the self adulation thinking that your dick is 20ft long and made of gold just because of your proclaimed allegiance to a rich and successful football club (where are your Real Madrid shirts now koteks?). Please. Send me pictures after, if you are able to.


The convention was OK. Stamford Bridge was not really close to any tube so cabbing to the nearest point was a bitch on the wallet. The pound layeth the smaketh down on the poor ringo! Not that I moved around much with only 2 nights spent in London. A luxury of time compared to the last trip!


A nice graphic along the wall of the stadium grounds. Makes you wanna put on an illusionary jersey and jump about like a Wankersarous.


Nice chance for fans to take a picture with their favorite team. Not easy getting a whole squad of players looking constipated.


And you don't go to Chelsea without sharing a beer with Jason Lo in a neighborhood pub.

I can't seem to get into the London groove. Maybe it's the lack of forests, a sense of the open trails, the odd mountain, dolphins or horny moths... (holy crap! I'm getting Mountain Man Syndrome! Pretty soon I'm going to be hanging out at hardware stores looking feverishly for tubing to complete my Darth Vader costume! :P Joke Nex, joke!). Maybe there's just too much going on. It's like New York but with the crap weather, the wicked sterling pound or the groups of Malaysian students lurking around every street corner.

Now I just need to get the the Emirates and I would have been to all the classic top 5 clubs. Oh yeah.... and White Hart Lane too (tragic mother lovers....)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

No Murukku

I have no Murukku. I didn't eat any Murukku and I DID NOT bring any Murukku back from Seremban. We didn't make or buy murukku this year. Murukku IS NOT the best Deepavali food ever. It is not better than sex. Telling a Hindu to go back to his home town and bring back Murukku is like picking up Paris Hilton at a bar but telling her you only want to cuddle.

What is it with murukku again? C'mon la, where is the requests for the freshly made chicken and mutton curries both the wet and dry types, what about the home made pineapple jam tarts, the string hoppers mixed with tomato and chicken curries, the nyonya inspired pai tee, the caseree...?

Standard yearly requests:

"Eh, Jangan lupa bawak murukku ya?"

"Eh, ma hai, nei mo kow-kow ah! Faitit law murukku faan lei ok!"

"Aiseyman, I kenot come la. Got to visit my in-laws in Perak but you bring la murukku back brother!"

It seems like murukku is the symbol that all go by to describe the utter sumptuous Deepavali spread. So if one cannot make it to Manimaran Batumalai's house for the Festival of Lights we are expected to 'tapau' back the humble murukku, the spokes person for Diwali's yummy goodness so all can enjoy what they missed out by not attending the Hindu Open House.

I'm gonna start a new experiment. During Chinese New Year, walk up to an Ah Beng and say "Eh dont forget bring back kuaici for me!"

or "bring back kuih lapis for me k!" to Sheila Majid during Raya. Ok la kuih lapis not so bad but cant think of anything now.

So on this day of 28th October 2008 I hearby declare that I have no murukku to share with anyone only because we did not make it this year. I will try to 'murukkucanize' the world next year to share the joys of Deepavali with all my friends and colleagues. Thank you and good day.

Majulah murukku untuk negara.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I've Just Invented A New Dance

Step One
1. Put on an old pair of comfy boxers.

Step 2.
Walk around apartment watering plants.

Step 3.
Let a small moth fly into said boxers and go with the flow...


*Sigh, how DO these things happen to me????

I Buy Toys When...



...I'm restless and a little stressed. I told myself to ease off but on the last trip to Singapore I wondered into a little shop that was selling these bad boys loose so I got them cheap - about RM25 - RM30. I always thought the Green Lantern costume was cool so had to get Hal Jordan.


Loved this bad ass Superman.


Lara Croft as a English football yob.


V-Cool or what??? So realistic that I wake up mornings thinking I'm going to find mini dynamites in my shoes.

And my fav piece from the bastards at McFarlane Toys:


Poacher version 2. Check out the insane details - the tattoos, the bones, the paint application on his tusks, etc. etc....


I loved what they did with his ears too.

Oh yeah, some pics blur as I was in a hurry to shoot these.

Friday, October 24, 2008

AIYO STREAMYX!!!!!

"Hello, Streamyx? My line is down."

" OK, Can I verify your details? Father - Chindiana Sr, mother - Mother Theresa, phone number 1800-333-888?

"Yep."

"What's the problem sir?"

"Can't log on and DSL light is off"

"You off and on the modem?

"Yes"

"Your phone line working ?

"yes"

"You go accessories, type config/all. what does it say?

" Still says no connection boss."

"Umm..you take the modem wire, the connection to computer you put to modem and the modem side you put to the computer."

"Eh?? Switch the sides? What the.....??? Ok, ok ..... ..........Um, same thing boss. Could it be a problem with my modem?"

"No sir, from here it is OK. Ok now you stand on one foot, put the computer on your head, then you take the phone line and put in your ear and the modem you connect to your backside. OK, now you face South West and you jump 5 times! Jump faster! higher better also! How? HOW??? Your DSL light coming on or not?????? Got?"

"huffff... pufff....no man, no DSL light.... I'm starting to see stars though......"

"Ooooohhhhh, you using Microsoft Vista issit?"

So after i run a marathon naked with my laptop strapped to my ass and my modem under one armpit, after I light a bonfire and sacrifice a virgin goat to the Gods of Internet Connectivity, they tell me the famous "OK we have to open a report..."

"But what's the problem boss? This happens almost every month."

"Oh yes but today heavy rain so our lines probably down. Now many people also calling. Same problem as you."

-_-

Huh???? DUDE, you should have told me before you asked to me shave off my pubes and stick them on my eyebrows.....

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Ubud - Chindy Gets A Facial!


There were a few pieces like this around so I assume it must be very popular with breast pump sales men.


Gigit Waterfall.

We left Lovina about 10am after my dolphin 'experience' in the early morning. We headed up the mountains towards Ubud. Pak Nyoman told me we had to stop by the Gigit waterfall as it was beautiful and gorgeous and breathtaking.

Bottom line - waste of time. It's a tourist trap. Sure the waterfall is high but the pool wouldn't drown a hobbit puppy. And the 20 minute walk is LINED with souvenir shops. I grumpily told my guide that we had drains bigger than this shit in Malaysia and asked him to get me outta there. OK I was exaggerating with him but I had high expectations after his buildup. Not his fault though as its prob the highest water fall he's ever seen.

It was a great drive along the roads especially when passing the terraced padi fields on hills on the way to Ubud. Along the way we passed the Buyan Lake which caught me off guard, not expecting a lake in the middle of the mountains. It was quite nice except for the bus loads of tourists flocking all over the roads and car parks. I didn't feel like stopping so we moved on.

Actually the road through the hills and mountains looked like almost any small town trunk road EXCEPT that they were beautifully tarred. Something that Malaysians seem to find hard to upkeep - it's like pot holed roads are a requirement for roads here.



Again I asked Pak Nyoman to recommend me some good babi guling and we stopped by this warong along the road which was surrounded by a corn plantation. It was great. Good food amid the rustling corn stalks. Perfect! Cheap too! OK, I'm really pissed at myself as I lost the paper on where i scribbled the town right before this little stall was located. It was about 40 minutes South of Buyan Lake.


OK the name of this place was also on that lost piece of paper - its supposed to be the place where the King used to stop over or used as a holiday home. It was on the way to Ubud from the North. (Curses! If anyone knows what it's called please, please let me know!)

We reached Ubud earlier than expected at about 3pm. Finally after so many years I got to see what Ubud was like and what the fuss was all about. That's the thing - ain't no fuss in Ubud y'all. Move along now.... It's a place for couples to spa and shag. That's it. Maybe i didn't have time to hike around the area but for a solo day trip Ubud tried my patience. No frikkin' bars man...how come laaaaaaa!!!????? Just little restaurants all over the place...

I decided to wander around town to see if I could dig up a bar with some hot Japanese tourists. No luck. Lotsa old Japanese aunties with Japanese aunty hats.


I took a walk to the Monkey Forest. It was interesting and I must say it was like a mini production set for a scene from Indiana Jones. It had great statues, temples, rock monuments and most were overgrown with green moss that made the overall experience quite surreal. Not a very big area, I covered it in about 30 minutes. Of course having monkeys in the jungles of Malaysia and sometimes on the Federal Highway, I was quite blase towards the furry buggers but the Mat Salleh tourists were having a great time, "OOOOoooo! Look little Timmy, he's PEELING that banana!" What the fuck is he going to do with the banana la? Stuff it up his ass and sing 'YMCA' in Mongolian?

"Yeah baby, you take that robe off. I ain't looking. Promise..." -The Bathing Temple area.


The pathway just after the Bathing Temple. I couldn't go further as there was a monkey turf war going on. Note the scared Mat Salleh tourists in the background. I have to say these monkeys in the Monkey Forest were well behaved! They just went about their business with no fuss. No grabbing your shit, stealing your shit or just shitting on your car. Not like the gang bangers from Penang Hill or the hand phone kidnappers at Uluwatu Temple, South Bali.


Road side pork satay. Tried it. Not bad!


OK, here was a pleasant surprise. I asked the little kid whose mum was selling the pork satay for any trails around the rice fields and he told me to just head up the lane called Jalan Kajeng and there would be a nice scenery. I walked up the deceivingly named JALAN Kajeng for a bit. Its more of a lane. It tapered off into a dirt road. I was thinking that I just got tricked as the lane became smaller and on both sides there were small hotels and houses among what looked like a small jungle. The path snaked up a small hill and when I reached the top i saw endless fields of rice in the evening sun on both sides of the little path. It was fantastic! It was a windy evening so I just followed the path. It was far from boring as the path ducked and weaved up AND under the fields. There was a time i was in a small valley, following a small man made stream used to irrigate the fields. I felt like a hobbit on an afternoon jaunt in the Shire. I stumbled on a small warong by the fields and of course I had to kena a Balinese coffee as I watched the sun set over the rice fields. The path actually wound it's way back towards town so it was great as I hate to backtrack. It seems that this path is actually used by tourists as I saw some others on the path as well. I wasn't timing myself but it took just under an hour to cover the trail.



A Facial Virgin No More...
I was not that bored yet. I had actually walked 6kms from my hotel to the fields and back. It was just nice. No bars though so I figured when in Ubud do what the tourists do. I hit a spa (I'm a wannabe metrosexual now you see...)

My body didn't ache as much so I went for one of those oil massage thingies. I wanted to feel pretty and special...It was done in an hour. Only 8pm. Damn, what else. The lady recommends a aloe vera facial as I had just gotten down from the mountain and looked like I was sun burnt. What the hell...OK....

I got to admit I had no idea what the hell was happening. She covered my eyes with some soft wet thing so I only had my ears and nose to tell me what I had gotten myself into. First off I heard her boiling some water. Thought she was making some tea or something. Then all this stuff was applied and wiped off my face and then... and then I nearly shat my pants!

Suddenly I hear AND FEEL the boiling water next to my ears and face!

"watdafukWATdaFUKWADAFUCK!!!!! she's fucking going to boil my face!!!!!"

So okay, you women can get back on the chair now. Look, I've NEVER had steam treatment on any part of my body OK? What did you expect me to think? I clenched my arse cheeks so hard when I mini panicked that now I know why I couldn't take a crap for 2 days.

Well that's Ubud - go spa - better yet go to an expensive spa, pamper yourself, read a book among padi fields, spa some more, have sex, spa, hike, spa AND have sex (they give couples an extra 20 minutes after your joint sessions to shag in the rose bath so don't just sit there scrubbing each other's backsides). The handicraft is not as cheap as they say it is. I saw cheaper stuff up North. There is another area near Ubud for cheaper stuff but I can't say where of course. Not without payment.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

"You're a Hypocrite Chindy...

..." she said.

"What do you mean?", I asked, all ready to go righteous anger on her cute little tush.

"You say you're attracted to confident women and because they're confident they tend to take care of their bodies, dress well, speak well, etc. But when I tell you to dress a little better you just brush it off and say women are materialistic and shallow."

"........um....., well.... . Maybe you have a point there..... Soooooo....uh, I AM a bit of a twat then?"

"Yes."

"So I have to pay for the coffee?"

"Yes and we're going shopping for shirts for you," she said firmly.

"You buying?" I asked.

"Of course not! I'm picking them out and you're paying."

The hypocritical twat bought two shirts he would never have looked at even if he was blindfolded with them.

Insisted on going to shops that had sales. 40% off each shirt! Wahaha! They ain't gonna turn me metro sexual without a fight...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Cheesiest Pick Up Lines Entries!!!!!!!

HAH! Finally. Apologies for the delay.

There are so many different types here but since this is a contest I'm not going to categorize them now. You guys just pick which one tickles your fancy, creeps you out, makes you laugh or just made your day!
AND THE NOMINEES ARE:
1. S'wak -
checks out label on babe's skirt and when she asks what the frak, he replies, "Just making sure that you're Made in Heaven!"

And she married him later!

2. Overheard by S'wak -
"Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special."

3. These two used on Peekz -
"You Look Tired."
"HUH?"
Yeah, cos babe you've been running around my mind all day!"

4. Dood: Your dad must be a thief!
Peekz: WTF?
Dood: Coz he stole the stars from the sky and put them in ur eyes!

5. CivicClan said...

Guy: Are u hurt?
Girl: Huh?
Guy: Such a beautiful angel like you, fallen from the sky, are u sure you're not hurt?

6. Nex at an event sees...
The hotel banquet manager trying to pick up a model. He walks up to her and says, " Hi, my name is Kamil, Ismail Kamil.".
Repercussion - the Ah Lian model gives him her empty glass and asks him for a glass of water!
7, Winnie Chan was..

walking down a street in Liverpool and gets a typical Liverpudlian pick up line...Some drunk old fart shouts across the street, "OH MY GOD YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!"

Another typical English come on line when confronted by an Asian woman:

8) Ni Hao !!!
9) Sawadee ka (yeah, all Asian women are Chinese or Thai...)

10. The Fon...

...used this once in KKB while white water rafting;
"What's a nice girl like you floating in a river like this"

11. The supreme commando was once asked...

"where have you been all my life?"
Of course she replied "I've been running away from you!"


Han Solo shares her experiences...

12. While in Paris waiting in queue at the Eiffel Tower, gets this line from an American serviceman, "Hey baby, what say you and me go up that tower right now and get married? What'ja think?"

13. While passing thru Chow Kit after an assignment one day. A mat rempit comes up to her and says, "Adik, nak masuk bilik tak?".

14. While waiting for her dad to pick her up from school, she got this often - "Sorang je?", all uttered by dodgy Malay guys.

15. On a PIA flight from London to KL - "You are looking very beautiful while you are sleeping!".

16. And the same guy from the PIA flight - "Are you marriage?"


17. Jun-E shares her experience in...

.. Thailand, on a train from Bangkok to Ayutthaya, by a comic book seller on the train -
"I like you. Do you like me?"


18. Plain Jane's husband gets some unwanted attention...
Her hubby is paying the cashier for some goods in IKEA. The makcik who is in the queue BEHIND him says to the cashier while Jane's hubby is waiting for his change;
makcik: (to the cashier) dik, kenapa panas sangat ni?
cashier: maaf lah ya, tapi hari ni ramai orang
makcik: ya ke? bukan sebab yang berdiri kat depan ni hot ke?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How is it....

I just got back from futsal. I've taken to playing with women and recovering injured dudes like myself to keep fucking up my body again. It's low impact and I still get a decent workout.
I've played futsal for almost 5 years now with guys and the lady folk. I've just one question.

How is it that after a game guys smell like wet dogs and women STILL COME OUT OF IT SMELLING LIKE VANILLA AND STRAWBERRY SUNDAES????????

Friday, October 10, 2008

Toya Bungkah, Kintamani


Sunrise at Batur Lake. View from Lakeside Cottages

Toya Bungkah is the main village with hotels and cottages for rent in Kintamani. It's one of the few villages around the Batur Lake. The Batur Mountain Guides Association is also situated here. Most climbers up the Batur volcano stay here. No night life here people, unless you bring along a large group to make your own party.

The moment you leave the Kintamani plateau and drive down towards the beautiful lake you will notice the distinct acrid smell of burnt vegetation and chicken shit, both key ingredients for the onion and mandarin orange farmers around the lake. 

Besides giving life to farming in the fertile volcanic soil the lake also has abundant fresh water fish.



Its fantastic living by the lakeside. Most of the cottages are very very basic with prices ranging from around USD20 per night. Don't expect any luxuries here. When you Google it you normally get Lakeside Cottages turning up on your search. There are others such as the Analisa, Under the Volcano 3 (dunno where 1 and 2 were) and another called Surya earlier on before Toya Bungkah.  The people are friendly although beware of the dodgy looking ladies going around offering massages, "Picit-picit Pak?" ~ shudder~


A fisherman in the evening. The best times to enjoy the view of the lake is actually after 4 pm when the sun sets over the western mountains. The lake looks gorgeous while Gunung Abang across from Toya Bungkah is bathed by golden sun shine.  The early mornings tend to be mist filled but still has a magical aura of it's own.

Green fresh water algae coated rocks.


The Lakeside Cottages. Looks great but the interior of the 8 cottages is VERY, VERY BASIC. The internet booking rate is about USD23. The food here is not much to shout at so its best to head to Analisa Cafe for some lovely fried or steamed fish. Kiyoko, the owner's Japanese wife is so timid that I was afraid if I accidentally farted she might have a cardiac arrest but she's really nice and tries to accommodate as best she can.

Lakeside Cottages has one of the best views (and the closest to the lake) to just chill out in the afternoon with some hot tea while you look across the lake to the mountains beyond.

This picture was taken the first day I arrived in Toya Bungkah. The dude in the foreground is a fisherman and that is Gunung Abang crowned by clouds (The Batur Volcano is behind me opposite Gunung Agung).

At night when I looked up into the night sky it was almost like a carpet of stars was laid out before me. I had woken up early for my trek up the mountain, about 3 am. I just lay down on the stairs of the cottage and was rewarded by 3 shooting stars over a 30 minute period (2 decent sized, one so tiny i almost missed it). In the dawn you are greeted by the sudden explosion of generators running the pumps for the vegetable plots. The coffee in the warongs is sweet and strong just as the fishermen and farmers like it and not the 3 in 1 shit served at the hotels and lodges. The food is simple but tasty because it's cooked fresh.

Its a beautiful place in it's simplicity but ringed by the grandeur of the mountains that surround it and the lake that gives this town life. Highly recommended for those quiet simple moments.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Gunung Batur Volcano and Hiking Along a Caldera


6AM, sunrise from Gunung Batur Volcano.

This feels weird. I'm actually typing this at 3am from a hotel at Stamford Bridge, London. It was a last minute trip that I had to take on Monday night. Anyway, below is Adventures of Chindiana Trails and the Volcano of Doom.

"Great, ANOTHER sunrise from a mountain..." I thought to myself at Gunung Batur, the still active volcano at Kintamani in Bali. I still never saw the drama in it but probably it's the thought of scrambling around new terrain in the pitch dark with a dodgy torch at 4am that turns me off these early morning excursions.

That is UNTIL I got to the top, UNTIL the mists came in and hung low over the lake just before the early morning dawn, UNTIL the sun peeped out behind the eastern caldera, UNTIL it's rays spread out over the valley, through the crags of the mountains opposite us and settled like a warm golden blanket on the mists beneath us. FUKIN SURREAL AWESOMENESS!

It was one of those perfect moments. The golden panorama before me, sipping hot strong and sweet Balinese coffee after a simple breakfast of a lightly toasted banana sandwich and salted hard boiled eggs. I had to force myself to put the camera away and just take in the sight before me. I wanted to remember it for as long as I could.

After the sunrise I needed to get to the top. It was what I ever wanted since I first set eyes on the volcano 4 years ago. It took about 30 more minutes of scrambling on loose volcanic soil before we reached the peak and walked along the edges of the crater with at least a 400meter drop into the crater on one side and another drop so far down I would end up in another district if I ever tripped on my shoelaces! It was an awe inspiring moment as my guide Negeh, and myself walked along the rim, a shimmering lake on one side and a plateau on the other. Some parts of the path were only less than two feet in wide and I nearly shit my pants when i walked past a steam cloud coming out from the volcano that fogged up my glasses and blinded me at the point the path was the narrowest. As the steam was still coming out all my scrubbing of glasses didn't work as they kept fogging up so I had to embarrassingly puppy crawl on all fours past the steam cloud to the slight amusement of Negeh.

Coming down was tricky because of the loose soil so I ended up sliding or 'surfing' down some parts which did not really help my unused thigh muscles and dodgy knees.

Walking around the crater edge. Negeh looking on at fellow guides who were sitting on a ledge where the still active volcano was spewing hot steam.

It's best to get guides from the Gunung Batur Guides Association. Their office is in the one street village of Toya Bungkah and is just opposite the Analisa Cafe (if Analisa is behind you they are slightly on the right) .The cost of packages range from 300,00RP to above 500,000 depending on how extensive an area you wish to cover on the volcano and if you want them to make you a simple breakfast. The hotels tend to over charge as they need their markups. All guides will come from the association so it's best to go to them directly and cut out the bullshit from hotels and tour agencies as they're always trying to sell you something extra.

It was funny, Negeh and myself were happy chatting in our hybrid Indonesian/Malaysian but when we hit the top of the volcano he went into Official Guide Mode and started talking to me in English. " Umm... Yes and this volcano last erupt in 1999. The ash and lava is all over Bali and if you see here you can see..." I was like wat the fuk dude....." but decided to let him be as I blanked out his tourist speech and concentrated on not falling off a volcano.


The loose volcanic soil - the reason for my sore thighs and knees. You can see a bit of the lake on the top left side. Imagine that view almost 100 degrees to your left as you come down the mountain.


The view outside the crater of the countryside surrounding the volcano. The lake is on the other side.


The one of 4 sheds along the mountain path to lepak in. This is the highest one at the top of the volcano.


The path around the crater. A looooooong drop down either way.


A prayer alter somewhere just below the foot of the volcano.

The trek up the North East Caldera.


The view of Gunung Abang from the start of the trail near the little farming hamlet of Songan.

I wanted to utilise my full day. Since the whole trip up and down the Batur volcano brought me back by 9 am I had hired another guide to take me up the north east caldera mountain range. It normally takes 5 hours but we managed to do it in 3 and half as normally the morning crowds take longer as they are waiting for the sunrise. I wasn't expecting much but this was lovely!

What caught me by surprise was how close Kintamani was to the Pacific Ocean! It was fantastic! Under the noon sun, the strong mountain winds blowing in my face i reached the top and on my left...


...was hillside farmlands that stretched out to an gorgeous blue ocean that seemed to seep into a brilliant blue sky.


And on my right was the Batur Lake with the district of Kintamani laid out before me. (includes complimentary volcano, farmlands and fisheries:)


The trail started on a narrow dirt road that the farmers used. We eventually left it for a mountain path that took us along the edge of the mountain range, down into forests and eventually...


...down to the burial grounds of Kuban near Trunyan village.

The guide cost me USD45. It's a bit high but I really wanted to check out this trail so coughed up the cash. This trail is supposedly run by ANOTHER Guides association but they seem like a dodgy outfit, at least the dude who was pitching the trail to me. So be careful who you speak to these Caldera dudes will try to convince you to take their route instead of the Batur experience so it's best to stand firm as the experience up Batur is awe inspiring and the Caldera is lovely but between the both I would recommend Batur.

My guide Ketek was a young likable kid who was slightly embarrassed that his boss had pissed me off by trying to force feed me the caldera hike. Oh yeah, the official price for one person is USD 80 till I told him to fuk off. And these Caldera Guide fukers were saying that all packages must have a minimum of 2 people or the one person will have to pay for 2. With the Batur Guides Association there was no such nonsense. One is one. A hundred is a hundred.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Overheard Quotes

Well I'm just killing time here in the internet cafe in Ubud. My shuttle van to Denpasar airport leaves in about 30 minutes. I've a whole bunch of pics to upload and write. That and with the posting of the Pick Up lines quotes will take up a fair bit of time this week. I've a meeting to go to in the evening after I land at the LCCT so those in attendance will have to bear with the smells and aura of travel grime and grit. Muhahahaha!

Anyway I saw this on Bart's FB and thought it describes so much that is going on in the world.

"Life is like a box full of retards."
- Bartholomew August, August 2008

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Batur and Caldera - The Aftermath

Damn, my thighs and knees hurt like a pair of angry bitches. Coming down from Batur my thighs started to protest because I was slipping and sliding down the loose volcanic soil and stones. Hiking the Caldera Range a couple of hours later finally fucked them both BUT........

I saw the most spectacular sunset ever! Wait for the pictures...

And Caldera, well what can I say, it was not as awe inspiring as Bature (c'mon you're walking around the crater rim of an active volcano, surrounded on one side by a beautiful lake and encircled by mountains), Caldera... was simply LOVELY. I walked along the top of the Caldera ridge line with a lake and Batur on my right and on my left, still dry farmlands with smattering of greens, rolling hills that lead into a gorgeous blue ocean that merged with the sky.

I did not know that Kintamani as THAT close to the North Eastern sea.

I've been bitchy a little. There seems to be someone trying to sell me something every corner that I turn. The guide in my hotel tried to pull a fast one one me. Old women sidle up to me and ask to 'picit' (massage) me and I can only say NO so many times before they piss me off. They hard sell me on handbags (what the fuck, do I look like a transvestite now?), I go to buy water and batteries and they try to sell me paintings and the worst, some old bird charged me an extra 10,000RP for my bottle of Bintang Beer! I finally feel like a tourist!

Anyway, its a beautiful morning now. The sun has just climbed over the mountains and the lake is now bathed in a golden light. The lone fisherman outside is tending his nets and the roosters are doing their early morning duty. A lone slim mist hangs over the lake and I can smell the strong hot Bali coffee that I ordered from the lady at the counter being brewed.

Oh wait, the coffee's ready. OK gtg.