Sunday, February 17, 2008

Understanding Budget Airlines

I am NOT A STAFF OF AIRASIA.

I OCCASIONALLY do contract work for them only.

I DO NOT OWN AirAsia.

I DO NOT OWN their planes.

I DO NOT play Mahjong with the owners of AirAsia.

AirAsia is actually NOT AN INTERSTATE BUS SERVICE. Those huge metal tubes you get on and strap yourself into? They can FLY wan. Wah...impressed rite? Got flying bus. Wah, Malaysia Boleh...

OK, Top 5 phone calls I get FROM FRIENDS and acquaintances seeking help with their problems when flying with a budget airline.

1. "Hey Chindy can you ask them to let me through? I was late because I got stopped by the cops for speeding just now. Had to speed la cos I woke up late!" C'mon la talk to them. Why not flexible wan?"
- Yeah I should right? Because its the cops fault, your alarm clock's fault and the airline's fault that you're going to miss your flight.

2. "Dude can you get them to hold the plane! I'm just passing the Sepang toll!"
- I am not a Jedi. I can't hold planes or interstellar craft in one place for some clueless space cadet.

3. "Woi can you talk to this fuker here? He wants to charge me excess baggage for my diving tanks la!"
- Yes can do folks, only if your diving tank is attached to your bladder.

4. "Can you check for me online what is the best price? or "You book for me online la, sure can get cheaper!"
- watthefuk-laaaaaaaaaah... how the fuk am I to do that? I don't live in the fuckin Matrix!!! And NO, i DO NOT have secret overriding passwords.

5. "Eh not cool la you. What you mean the stewardess wont come out with us?"
- Because they don't know your sorry ass or your sorry friend's sorry ass. They don't really know my sorry ass and prob want nothing to do with ALL our sorry asses.

Sigh...

10 comments:

Han Solo said...

Hahaha! Good one! What to do, if people think you're connected....

Chindiana said...

wish i were! but sadly I'm just a kampung fler trying to save enough ringos to open that bar by that beach... ALthough that bed 'n breakfast in the mountains is looking tempting too. NEX! work on it la!

The FON said...

you forgot one more ...and i put in yer answer also for u...

No.6 Eh, can you get the latest Travel 3Sixty mag for me ar? But if can get one that doesn't look like a mother and baby cover can ar?
- no farker, i am not the editor of the mag u kotek. do u think i am a character from the Devil Wears Prada? do i like look like Meryl Streep to you?

ah lim said...

HAHAHAHA!!!

the fon... chill lar, have a gin with bitter lemon.

bro! The guys at the front end of AirAsia counters get this when guests are 5 minutes late and the check-in counter closed on time "Why cannot let me in? The plane is still here wat. So it is okay when you delay and cancel flights, but not okay if we're only 5 minutes late?"
Those frontliners should be given a standing ovation for their ever available patience when facing "Truly Malaysian" passengers and also willing to work hard for Uncle Tony F.

Chindiana said...

Ah Lim! yes they deserve some kudos but so far on my personal experiances the same front liners take a lot longer to check in passengers then other airlines, leading to some long queues. Of course some of it is due to the 'amazing' variety of passengers, "alamak sori sori i accidently checked in my handbag, can you get it back?".
But they still need to be able to make some independant thought when dealing with situations.

Ah Fon! Haha! that is EXACTLY what I would say! BUT so far no such requests. prob because most of my friend find reading a magazine intrusive in their everyday lives of getting pissed drunk! haha!

Nex said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...

Seriously dude, I was laughing so hard tears are coming out of my eyes!

But you USED TO work for AirAsia dude (in whatever capacity), so THAT may be why people still think you have an 'inside link'...

Believe it or not, almost 7 years on, I still get the occasional phone call from people who want me to help them organise an event...

Chindiana said...

Ahhh Nex, ya big lug, glad I can still make you cry! haha!

Yeah prob that stint in AA. But the folks who call are one's that i've known after i left. oh well...

And you have that event manger look la so cant escape!

Anonymous said...

hahhahahahahahhahahahahaha
classic.

-diane

veronneca said...

oh my God... this entry is ssoooo funny! so what are you? the editor of 360? or Tony fernandez's adopted kid?

Chindiana said...

veronneca! i'm neither of the above. I just have some friends who work there.