Saturday, April 19, 2008

Letting Go - The Last Bits

She's getting married in May. May Wedding. Nice. Exactly 2 years to the month she left for Blighty and she's found the man she will spend the rest of her life with.

No Indian drama here. This is just officially filing away the last bits of whatever still reminds me of her and to move on. Plus she doesn't read this blog anymore so its easier to write. Although last year I thought she had stopped reading the blog too.

Anyway, I've stopped subconsciously looking over my shoulder to expect seeing her tapping away at her laptop on the dining table.

I've stopped waiting apprehensively for a sharp order for me to turn back to Gilmore Girls whenever I switch on wrestling on TV.

Not sure why I'm doing this but maybe it's just the simple fact that many songs still remind me of her. When they play on the radio or such I'm reminded of her. Not the pour-kerosene-on- myself-and-set-arse-on-fire emotional drama, just a simple memory while the song plays itself out on the radio.

So here goes:

Top 5 Songs that remind me of her:

1. Tears of Jupiter - she hates it now but she would sing it happily in the car whenever it came on the radio then. Always singing it happily. Nice sound that singing.

2. Aerosmith and Bon Jovi - She was a rocker at heart. Nirvana and also the Chili Peppers but she got me hooked on Aerosmith. Bon Jovi's only association with her is only because she had this insane crush on John Bon Jovi and would merajuk big time whenever I called him a skinny no ass pretty boy rocker.

3. If you needed somebody by Bad Company - OK one of those '80's ballads that I'm a sucker for. I used to like this song even way back when but the hook here is that her cousin is the lead singer of the band.

4. Superman by that band, whatsitcalled? 5 For Fighting? Stupid ass name byt anyway, this one is weird. Just that first reaction when she first heard it on the radio. She turned to me at the lyrics and said plaintively " Poor thing he." Chuckled and added, "loser." Yeah, this song pulls me back to that moment. Weirdopallooza man...

5. Soundtrack from One Fine Day - this Clooney/Pfeiffer movie album always seemed to play during the quieter moments in the apartment. Nice one especially at nights.

Then there is still some little fragments of moments in day to day situations that needs some fill-in-the-blank-action. Here goes:

1. When I'd return from any trip overseas the first message when my phone comes back to life would normally be, "You landed yet? Call me k?" Now the first message I get when I land in KLIA or the LCCT is "Welcome Home! Keep in touch with your friends and biz partners. Enjoy Maxis IDD rates..."

2. The inspiration and the predecessor for the Toy Bits posts of this blog - I used to pose some of my action figures on the bed with messages written for her that she would see when she got back from work(after I'd left for an extended trip). Just the standard I miss you but Spidey will take care of you, etc. On the day I get back, I would find a US Navy Seal humping an Army Ranger with a note saying, "Welcome back Moron!" :)

3. ...Um, well, looks like that's it really. No Top 5 moments. Just 2 only. Hmm... interesting.

Not bad.

So that's it.

End of this chapter.



Nex said...

I feel for you bro...I really do.

I may be going down that same path (letting go) soon...although it'll be more difficult for me as my situation is not as 'clear cut' as yours...

Chindiana said...

Ouch. Sorry to hear that man! Tot you were all good.

Anonymous said...

Bro, almost shed a tear there. Sounds like you still have feelings for the lady. You know what they do in the movies at this stage right? :)


Chindiana said...

S'wak! Eh, dont la, its all good. Feelings now are just from memories. She's changed and so have I. So those 2 people don't exist anymore.

If Tamil movie means i would be turning up at her doorstep on a rainy night short of one arm bitten off by a shark when i swam across the oceans to get to her!

Eh bro, what happened to your blog ler? Its MIA again.

iLoVeBruCoFFee said...

Most men would have been too egoistical to write something like this even though you have moved on with life.

RESPECT to you!

Chindiana said...

Brued Coffee! Thanks la. I didn't think it was anything. Anyway I have no ego. That and no pride, no taste, no good sense, no patience, no maturity....

But seriously, thanks.

The FON said...

ok la..the FON stepping up to the plate. I'll fill in the blanks for option 1. I shall save 'Greetings Chindy, wan go mamak?' and send to u after u land.

Chindiana said...

Ok la FON, I will accept your offer without suspicion!

There, i've gone and done it now. Submitted myself to the Curse of the FON. I can feel a third testicle growing now...