1. A whole shithouse full of pent up rants that were just waiting to explode out of my ass.
2. An excuse to play with my toys and overall just make my juvenile hobby a public spectacle. Sorry, they're ACTION FIGURES. And NO Melissa, the 12" die-cast transforming Optimus Prime is NOT a DOLL.
3. A personal diary of sorts.
4.A great way to exorcise all those Tops 5 lists that keep popping up in my head when I'm stuck mumbling to my balls in traffic jams.
5. Surprisingly a great way to catch up with old friends, make new ones and to get the opportunity to get close and personal to the friendly neighbourhood Amway cyber spook.
I honestly thought I would last a couple of months only after the free lance writing started to flow a little more smoothly. I didn't realise how therapeutic it was just venting out to all and sundry. So we stand here more than a year on with me now thinking of new sections to add onto this blog:
I want to feature people. Interesting and duds alike. Folks like you and me. Tha turbanless bai feller and his older traditional uncle, that old dude who takes pictures of lingerie models in Singapore, that yoga teacher in Taman Tun who gave up a career in physics in Germany, my aunty who walked thru communist infested rubber estates at 5am to send my dad to school and walked back alone. I want to tell these stories.
We're losing ourselves in the Matrix (Nex is lurking there already!). Facebook and MSN are isolating us from the from the humanity that is surrounding us. It's the end of the world when someone in the same room says "Hey i got something to ask you. See you online." What the flying fuck is that? Online? Tiu man. Online is where you pay your bills and download porn. Online is where you eBay happily that Japanese school girl uniform for your wife. Fuck, Online is even a pub in Damansara Kim which serves wildboar curry and the best Guinness in PJ. Why would you go online to ask me if I've got a copy of Desperate Housewives when I'm standing right in front of your balls???
So yes, maybe I need to get back in touch with this world and the real things that are important to us. Meeting and talking to REAL people might just help me out. So yes I'm going to expand on the PEOPLE section. Must make more human contact.
2. I love music. Malaysian radio is making my arse turn baboon red. Gotta find a way to get something done so its not YouTubed all the time here.
Anyway, its a slow day. Bart just stood me up for our planned road trip. I've set a meeting at 4pm that will probably get cancelled so I've got some time to kill.
I'd like to give a shout out to to alla you peeps who've been dropping by this little nook in the universe:
Farah Siva for inspiring me to get this blog started. Dont think she reads this blog much nowadays but this hottie pretty much told me to get off my ass and get started on C'Trails.
Those of youse with valuable opinions!
1. Ah Lim - Mr. Nice Guy with a fetish for Russian vodka. The most religious reader of this here blog o' nonsense!
2. Nex - My old buddy from THOSE DAYS! The Fountain of never ending info! Probably cos he DOES live in the Matrix!
3. Bart August - Mr. Popularity, Social Slut and a Muffin Making Machine
4. Han Solo - We met HERE! haha! Or was it the other way around? Kaki for all that is Geek and also a bigger adventurer than all of us!
5. S'wak - The Legal Eagle from Sarawak. One of the best prop customisers in Malaysia!
6. Hidekram - From our neighbors down South. Patient with me for the occasional Singapore bashing!
7. Kelv - Kelvinator, Astro Boy, The Stud Muffin of the Skies!
8. The FON - let me reveal this once and for all. It stands for Force Of Nature. The FON waits on the fringes of our mental state waiting for moments of weakness when he reaches out with hungry fingers and drags us into insanity while he giggles hysterically with a mouthful of pink M&Ms.
9. Wak this Way - Across the oceans and continents! Good to have you here dude!
10. The FON's BFF - monitoring this blog to ensure that it is FON critic free. shiver....
The Stelth Readers - the quite ones
11. My Sister Dear (one of my most loyal readers from day One. Quietly reading her older bro's juvenile rants because "it's my brother's blog so I'll read it")
12. Winnie the Pooh - The most foul mouthed woman in Malaysia and now we've exported her to Liverpool! Wahaha you poor Scousers!
13. K.K. (Word up cousin!) - Part of the old gang from the old days!
14. V (Attitudes Forever! Sorry for the FFK. Beers on me next round! Promise)
15.Jaspal the Wise aka The Son of Siew Yoke - reading quietly and laughing to himself in some server room somewhere in Batang Berjuntai.
16. Satwant the Biker COO - reading just to make sure I haven't lost my mind yet!
17. The anonymous person from AA that checks in and corrects my mistakes. Thanks for the Red Arrows correction!
18. Lee Mei - quiet support from the SS2 Dimpled Gangster. Yeah anyone, c'mon man, fuk with me in SS2! She's got my back! Sorry Boss just joking! :)
19. Peekaboo - No choice but to read her boss's blog to check on his moods!
Of course there are others out there but I don't have 100% proof you still drop by so I'll just put you HERE as Special Guests Stars.
Rocky Bru! - See, I'm a name dropping slut! I'm so lame but fuk it la. haha! Rocky stopped by to check out my post on Chris Benoit.
The Amway Dude who checks back whenever I drop the magic key words of FUCK AMWAY. FUCKING AMWAY. NETWORK 21 SUCKS THE SWEAT OF A DEAD MAN'S BALLS! Hey man, sorry bout this. Its the last time I'll do this OK? But don't be a stranger. I still think the Malaysian Government can learn a thing or two from you on online PR management. Simply awesomely professional!
JUST SOME OF THE MOST MEMORABLE INTERACTIVE POSTS:
1. Them and US - Any topic about women and what I think of them - always exciting. When I get sensitive I kena whack, when I rant then it's not all women are like that. How la??? Actually Solo you right not all are that bad, 20% of them are sane like you.
2. That crazy exchange of comments under I think its the We're not in Oz anymore post where Nex, Solo, S'wak, Ah Lim and myself digressed from the sorry state of the country to opening a restaurant in New Zealand serving Sup Kambing Sauron, Nasi Lemak Burung Nazgul and S'wak's choice of Vader vadei!
3. And of course that whole Manu Militari affair!
And Ah Lim still thinks Manu Militari means an erection. Ah Lim! Aiyo you ahh... Here goes:
- Manu Militari means MASTURBATING in French.
- It is NOT a Hard On. A Hard On is when you're all flag poled up, its that morning chubby you get, its when you're watching the adult version of Pirates, its when you're all ready to drill a hole in a wall when sufferring from lack of shag/wank action.
- Its NOT the male reproductive organ, the penis, little Jonny, our wiener. A penis is a penis weather it's a limp biscuit, standing to attention or wearing a tuxedo.
So when you say " The Fon running around the office with a manu militari, it literally reads The FON running around the office with a masturbation." The proper use of the word would be 'The FON running around the office manu militari". No "with".
Ok end of today's French lesson...
"Oooookaaaaay...Which one do we arrest again?"
"Damn, if he spends so much time on himself where is he going to find the time for me? Would I regret anything tomorrow? He's probably a player, won't call me tomorrow. What if he's nice and then he might think I'm easy. I wonder what he does for a living? Hope he doesn't drive a Kancil. Nice bod, hope he's got some brains too. Bet he's got a girl friend...I don't like how his friends look. Maybe can keep him on standby in case the Boy friend doesn't work out. ..etc.etc"
R2D2 to Jason Voerhees. Miraculous transformation from an amiable helpful droid into a hellish, supernatural killer!
Peace and Majulah Rakyat Untuk Negara!