Wednesday, February 27, 2008

One O' Those Days

Its raining outside. I'm going for a beer. That beer will complete me as much as it would give me the satisfaction of watching Cruise get buggered up the arse by a cross-eyed camel. 5 projects pending. So close. Soooooooooooooooooo frakin' close. And now they're all in the hands of others. I want control. I want to be able to feel like I can take a dump without falling arse first into Mister Hanky Land.

My future bar by the beach is calling me now. Where? KK would be perfect. At least Nex would be there to go out to the mountains with on the weekends. But the tourists don't seem to hang about town much and the locals wont spend to much. Port Dickson is tudung heaven and I refuse to open a bar where tracksuits out number string bikinis. Penang? Hmmm... Gotta find an affordable beach front close enough to drinkers. Oh yeah then it would be the issue of Ringgo funding. Am sure there is some Datin whose bored and yearning for some mature conversation that her toy boy can't provide her.

Why can't things be simple? It MUST be a state of mind. I wanna be a bimbo. Bimbos are my new Cool Icons. Bimbos, Blondes, Irishmen, Ah Sengs, Bai flers, the brunt of every cliched joke, you never really see them in any other light but clueless. Nothing and no one leaves any seeming lasting impression - Office politicians, overflowing monsoon drains, bad drivers, multi-level marketeers (FUCK AMWAY!!! - Hey welcome back dude! Hope you're all good bro :P )

But that's all good. I head back to Seremban this weekend. Might try to catch the sun set from Kanni Koil. Might head to Carey Island for mee goreng and strong black coffee on Sunday morning.

The power just went off in the office. The collective wails of those who didn't save their work is interrupting the sound of the rain outside. Tough shit, eh wot?

Fuk it la, its all good.

Yesterday, I had drinks with a sexy, scarily intelligent woman. We talked. One of those in-your-zone sessions that ate up time far too quickly. The only evidence of lapsed time being the amount of booze we both consumed printed on the smudgy bill. There might be another session. Soon.

: )

It's all good.

C'mon Streamyx....

Streamyx, Streamyx, where forth art thou Streamyx???? My kingdom for better and more consistent connectivity yo. Can some competition please step up?

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Twilight Action Girl

Crap shot from the camera phone. TAG boys are under the red Chinese New Year lantern in the middle of the pic.

On Friday night I found myself at Loft KL to catch the DJ trio of Twilight Action Girl. I've always meant to catch them as a group having heard Kelvin and Daryl spin individually at the old Delawi in Bangsar yonks ago.

So the description of the music is Britpop, eletroclash, transientrockamuchasomthinboutmary BUT it's fuckin awesome is what a neutral Chindian will call it, when a bunch of guys can mix up a storm that includes the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sheila Majid, John Williams - Anakin's Theme from Star Wars and Guns 'n Roses into a seamless set! Of course I was the oldest arse on display but the rocking vibes from the hard core bunch of indie fans was incredible, considering they even found the space for some mini mosh pit action. Wonder if they can pull off a set with Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama, Andy Williams doing Moon River, Theme from Indiana Jones and Marky Mark's Good Vibrations? Hmmm, time to pull in a favour...

TAG plays every Friday at the Loft KL (Zouk and not the Loft at the Asian Heritage Row). Go HERE for their MySpace page.

Friday, February 22, 2008

3 Countries in 15 hours

I've had crazoid travel schedules before but on Thursday when some o'youse were celebrating Chap Goh Mei I inadvertently got sucked into a travel itinerary of James Bondian nature. I had a meeting inVientienne, Laos. I had to take AirAsia but the problem was the next flight back to Malaysia was only on Saturday. So I found myself the odd Chindian out in a foursome of distinguished gentlemen in a road/air trip that saw us cross 3 borders, hit 4 airports and with a van ride through the Laotian and Northern Thai country to get back to our respective countries by Friday. Below is a re-cap. Times are accurate approximations.


9 AM, 21st February 2008 - The Chindian gets airborne from the LCCT, Sepang, Malaysia enroute to Vientienne, Laos.


10.40AM (Laos time). Arrival at Wattay International Airport, Vientienne. We're greeted by bruahaha as its AirAsia's first flight to Vientienne.


The group shot. Personalities included the very eloquent Dr. Surin Pitsuwan, the Secretary General of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations.


12.00 PM. We arrive at the Mekong Deck restaurant along the Mekong River for lunch. I'm tinggling with anticiaption! Beer Lao by the shores of the mighty Mekong! Thani Darrrr Chindiana!


WADDAFUKKKKKKK????? Dry season. sigh......


As usual AA puts up a nice show with a very entertaining emcee. Didn't take pictures as there were too many media bustling about. I just wanted to enjoy my very first trip to Laos and especially the Mekong.




Loads full of restaurants along the river bank.


The Thai side of the river seemed a lot shadier with them trees. Lovely weather though! Cool, breezy and sunny!


2.30PM. Road Trip! We get in a van and make it across the border and the Mekong River for the Thai town of Udon Thani.


Crossing the Mekong. Interesting fact - the bridge belongs equally between Thailand and Laos BUT the border boundary favours the Laos side. Btw, that ikan bawal looking cloud was some gunk on the windshield...


Welcome to Thailand!


The drive to Udon Thani took about an hour and half from Vientienne. We realised it was a Buddhist holiday in Thailand and the roads were clear all the way. Great broad highway and we even had time to stop for some excellently fresh young coconut water by the roadside.


6.15PM. We board our AirAsia flight to Bangkok from Udon Thani. Actual flight time is about an hour. The sun sets from 35,000ft as my stomach grumbles for dinner...



7.20pm. Arrival at Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok. We leg it through the massive airport like scalded dogs across the endless Australian outback! We say our hurried goodbyes as some stay back in Bangkok while two of us head off to our respective departure gates back to Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur. No time to give the straining bladder a break as we have to check out and check back into the airport to get onto our respective AirAsia flights!

8.10pm. I make it by the skin of my teeth as passengers are already boarding when I stumble into the departure lounge desperately trying to placate my pissed off bladder. Due to one runway under repair, we're left sitting on the tarmac for 45 minutes. Thank god there was a WC in the departure lounge... : )


11.45PM, 21st February 2008. Touchdown Low Cost Carrier Terminal, Sepang, Malaysia. Am surprisingly not that tired. It was probably my sampling of my first roti canai and teh tarik on a flight! (the curry is nice but the roti needs some work).

There was no time to really take in much. The country side, the people. The photos were taken on the run as you can see but it WAS an intresting trip and it well beats my last record of 4 countries in 5 days.

In the bright sunshine on the banks of the Mighty Mekong, as the chili red AirAsia banners and the white tents flutterred with the wind, Dr. Surin started his speech with, "Ladies and gentlemen, distingushed guests, today, I am the happiest man on the banks of the river Mekong..." He spoke on ASEAN and how collectively if we stand together as one we the nations of South East Asia are an economic and social force. As I looked around and saw the faces of Laotians, Thais and Malaysians sitting under one tent for one unifying reason I was tempted to be the most hopeful Chindian on the banks of the Mekong River...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Singapore Air Show F-16 Demo

2 F-16s from the Republic of Singapore Air Force rehearsing for
the Singapore Air Show that will run from the 19th - 24th of February 2008.
Go HERE for more info if you're a keen aviation fan!

*Picture from BBC website's Day in Picture section

Fidel


My romantic image of old Fidel was always him and Che Guevera 50 years ago, crossing an ocean in little boats to liberate a tiny island. That was it. I was more facinated by Che than Fidel. Until this day I would love to know this man's thoughts if he were to look into the burning eyes of his old friend adorning a t-shirt worn by some tourist on his shores.

Fidel Castro finally steps down today. Finally the old soldier calls it a day. From a strictly layman's point of view and from a sports angle I thought he and Cuba were cool. They told the rest of the world to frak off and they did it their own way. Villified by the Americans and their allies he still stood tall sucking on his home made stogie while flipping the bird to all and sundry who dared sing a bad note about his beloved Cuba.

Even when we used to hear about his dictatorial style and being a royal arse wipe, this supposedly impoverished country produced some of the best track and field athletes, boxers and even volleyball players in the world. No make that THE best boxers in the world. It's because of the American embargo that they couldn't compete outside of the Olympics.

Friends of mine who've been to Cuba have sworn they have some of the best medical facilities in the world and its available FREE to every citizen. And let's not forget those cigars..

Read the link below for more authoratative bio of this legend. Today I say "Respect" to an original Outlaw.

For more on Castro go HERE.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Cam Whore


"C'mon, c'mon! Look up! It makes your eyes look bigger!"

Cam-whore/Cam-whoring - The rampant photo-taking of oneself, oneself with friends, oneself with one's pet chihuahua, etc. Normally referred playfully to themselves by young hot looking females with trigger happy camera fingers.


Go HERE for that and more.

"C'mon Mr. Grumpy, SMILE : )! Or else we won't tag you on FB! Hehee!"

*Picture and toys property of Chindiana Trails

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Malaysian Elections 2008 - What If...?

Barisan Nasional celebrates taking back the state of Kelantan from the Opposition : )

Understanding Budget Airlines

I am NOT A STAFF OF AIRASIA.

I OCCASIONALLY do contract work for them only.

I DO NOT OWN AirAsia.

I DO NOT OWN their planes.

I DO NOT play Mahjong with the owners of AirAsia.

AirAsia is actually NOT AN INTERSTATE BUS SERVICE. Those huge metal tubes you get on and strap yourself into? They can FLY wan. Wah...impressed rite? Got flying bus. Wah, Malaysia Boleh...

OK, Top 5 phone calls I get FROM FRIENDS and acquaintances seeking help with their problems when flying with a budget airline.

1. "Hey Chindy can you ask them to let me through? I was late because I got stopped by the cops for speeding just now. Had to speed la cos I woke up late!" C'mon la talk to them. Why not flexible wan?"
- Yeah I should right? Because its the cops fault, your alarm clock's fault and the airline's fault that you're going to miss your flight.

2. "Dude can you get them to hold the plane! I'm just passing the Sepang toll!"
- I am not a Jedi. I can't hold planes or interstellar craft in one place for some clueless space cadet.

3. "Woi can you talk to this fuker here? He wants to charge me excess baggage for my diving tanks la!"
- Yes can do folks, only if your diving tank is attached to your bladder.

4. "Can you check for me online what is the best price? or "You book for me online la, sure can get cheaper!"
- watthefuk-laaaaaaaaaah... how the fuk am I to do that? I don't live in the fuckin Matrix!!! And NO, i DO NOT have secret overriding passwords.

5. "Eh not cool la you. What you mean the stewardess wont come out with us?"
- Because they don't know your sorry ass or your sorry friend's sorry ass. They don't really know my sorry ass and prob want nothing to do with ALL our sorry asses.

Sigh...

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Batang Berjuntai No More

Everything's eventual. Change is a constant. And so finally THEY went out and changed the name of one of the most uniquely named towns in Malaysia. Batang Berjuntai is no more. All hail...sigh, BESTARI JAYA.

I found this out from Han Solo when I met her to pass over her long overdue prizes from the Manu Militari contest.

What do I do now? Batang Berjuntai used to be my most favourite go to word for a whole bunch of references. I've been using it since for ever! How do I replace:

" C'mon la bring some girls dude! There's just us batang berjuntais here in the pub!"

"The traffic in the WHOLE FRIKKIN' town is JAMMED UP man!!! Its like every clown and his goat from Batang Berjuntai is here!"

"Look! Even chicks from Batang Berjuntai can use a stick shift la! What the hell....grumble grumble...grumble....grumble...."

"Woi! You ingat Batang Berjuntai tu name lanciau lu ka?" - I used this just once. It just came out before I could stop myself. I think i just confused the dude I was pissed off at. I was trying to mean that he thought he was so great that they named a town after him. Sigh. Moving on...

"Looks like some virgin from Batang Berjuntai to me..."

So what do I do know? How do I fill this empty void in my life? Why did they do this? This unexplainable act of remorseless culling of our colorful culture?

More importantly, how AM i going to make an impact when some dude cuts in front of me in a queue at the ATM machine, I pull him aside and shout out, "Woi! You ingat Bestari Jaya nama lanciau lu ka?"

Go HERE for a more intellectual view.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day Folks!



"Look just don't make a fuss! I'm sorry I forgot to confirm the reservation but I REALLY thought everybody was going to do their dating on Facebook this year! C'mon honey, smile, that's my boss sitting over there...i'llmakeituptoyou ok? please...."

And I thought I'd post AGAIN the History of Valentines, that i did for a magazine a couple of years ago. Helps you guys keep things in perspective.

THE HISTORY OF VALENTINES DAY

Fore score and several years ago when I was single and working near Lot 10, I walked out to get a meal with a friend after work and was shocked to find almost all the tables in all the restaurants in the general vicinity reserved. Bukit Bintang was buzzing, the traffic was gridlocked, people were rushing to the expensive dinners but were all simultaneously caught up in the jam. We went to a mamak instead. About 9pm after a couple of beers we went out to the street and swore we saw the same people in their cars, still stuck in the jam, looking miserable but with one difference – all the women were clutching roses in their hands!

I swore from that day on that there would be no time in my life for this ridiculous extravagance. However since you’re reading this my friend you’ve probably made plans already. So read on you poor sod and learn more why you’re spending so much on the one you love or desperately want to shag.

The Popular Myth

The version you’re probably most familiar with is that of Saint Valentine, a kind a gentle Roman priest who married off young couples against the wishes of the Emperor Claudius II. For helping out star crossed lovers in their moments of duress, the dude was beheaded for his troubles. Hence the birth of Valentine’s Day, the scourge of men’s wallets everywhere!

Here’s what we fond out

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia there were actually 3 different Saint Valentines. This hat-trick of Love Doctors were seemingly all martyrs and also seemingly quite obscure.

The 3 gentlemen were:

- a priest in Rome who suffered martyrdom in the second half of the 3rd century and was buried on the Via Flaminia.

- a bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) also suffered martyrdom in the second half of the 3rd century and was also buried on the Via Flaminia but in a different location than the priest.

- a martyr in North Africa, about whom little else is known.

F3 – February Fertility Festivals
The association of the middle of February with love and fertility dates to ancient times. In the calendar of Ancient Athens, the period between mid January and mid February was the month of Gamelion, which was dedicated to the sacred marriage of Zeus and Hera.

In Ancient Rome, the day of February 15 was Lupercalia, the festival of Lupercus, the god of fertility, who was represented as half-naked and dressed in goat skins. You might remember him for his wimpish cameo in the Chronicles of Narnia or his more flamboyant incarnations as Pan or Puck aka Robin Goodfellow from A Midsummer’s Night Dream.

As part of the purification ritual, the priests of Lupercus would sacrifice goats to the god, and after drinking wine, they would run through the streets of Rome holding pieces of the goat skin above their heads, touching anyone they met. Some accounts say they were actually wacking the folks instead of just touching. Anyway, young women especially would come forth voluntarily for the occasion, in the belief that being so touched would render them fruitful and bring easy childbirth.

The connection between St. Valentine and romantic love is not mentioned in any early histories and is regarded by historians as purely a matter of legend. The feast of St. Valentine was first declared to be on February 14 by Pope Gelasius I in 496. There is a widespread legend that he created the day to counter the practice held on Lupercalia of young men and women pairing off as lovers by drawing their names out of an urn, but this practice is not attested in any sources from that era.

In the 19th century, relics of St. Valentine were donated by Pope Gregory XVI to the Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland, which has become a popular place of pilgrimage on February 14.

In 1969, as part of a larger effort to pare down the number of saint days of purely legendary origin, the Church removed St. Valentine's Day as an official holiday from its calendar.

So dudes, while you’re mulling over that expensive bottle of wine, have a thought for 3 mysterious martyrs, a goat legged God of Fertility and the counter measures of the Catholic Church against ancient pagan rituals.

Here’s also to you getting some nookie tonight.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Wordy

I dedicate this post to every 100 page contract, 120 slide powerpoint, 60 page proposal and 30 page Excel sheet that I've had to plough through over the years.

'nuff said.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Future Phones

Here be some images of of the next evolution of the mobile phone. Posers, start your engines...


Nokia Aeon. Go HERE for more info.



Nokia 888. Go HERE for more info.









Benq Siemens Snaked. Go HERE for some details.

Fantastic! Just imagine what the phones will look like in 10 and 2o years time. I, the Chindian declare that all mobile phones in 30 years time will be implanted in our ears but the marketing departments will pervail by having the mike sets created as a range of earings for the women and cuff links for the men. So declares the Chindian...

And lets not forget how it all started:

and...

Yeah, I couldn't find a good pic of an ATUR phone...

Thursday, February 7, 2008

That Kid Inside

INCREASE THE PICTURE ABOVE TO READ TEXT.

When I was about 6, I used to day dream that I had a secret lair under my home. There was a secret door in the crawl space under my stairs and it would take me into this combo Batcave/Captain Scarlett/Star Wars Rebel base combo joint. I was some leader of some group of pilots/adventurers. Various secret tunnels would take me into the the rubber estate behind my home or the oil palm estate further away where our larger star craft would docked.

I had toys by the truckload and many battles were won and lost under and on the bed, in the garden, in the tub, on the thick carpet in the hall and especially in the little spring and stream at the fringe of the plantation in the neighbouring housing estate. Later years would see me contemplating getting my 12" Luke Skywalker to get it on with Princess Leia but the sight of her nippleless plastic bobos turned me off 'getting it on' and that put an end of me recreating scenes from some of my aunties Mills and Boon's romance novels (which I accidently flipped through of course).

As we get older and maturity sets in, the sounds of the crying baby smash against our tired daydreams, budget deadlines shout threateningly from the email inbox, bills and more bills lurk in the dark of the mail box, seemingly trying to tear away that shred of wonder we had as a child at all that was around us. Isn't that sense of 'anything's possible' that gives us hope to chase after something unattainable, something new and scary or even just to pluck up the courage to kick some arsehole's um... ass.

It's a tough battle but I think some of us hold on in our own way. Most of you out there do, I know - we quote Vader, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Yoda, we wear the Decepticon T-shirt with pride, our display cabinets at home are stocked with statues and memorablia of Storm Troopers, bounty hunters, Transformers, Spiderman, Batman, Dinasours, elven troops, the Millinium Falcon and even The Fonz! Our DVD collections include the Special Director's Edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Heroes, Futurama, The Matrix, Battlestar Galactica, Buffy, Barberella and the Adventures of Emanuelle (yeah, I know you have it...) . Some of us even have taken to creating customised light sabers, Boba Fett's helmet and even a loving re-production of Dr. Jones Sr's diary from Indy and the Last Crusade! We've created customised tatoos for ourselves, stuck Autobot logos on the hood of our Hyundai's where we secretly fantasize about transforming and smashing every sorry prick in that traffic crawl along the North South Highway during the Chinese New Year holidays.

Some of us live out the fantasies in PC and console games. Adventuring as elves, snipers, storm troopers, cybernatic soldiers, boobed out babes in hot shorts, Italian plumbers, gorillas and even funny mutated balls of weirdness. We're guitar heroes, master chiefs, thieves, mages and paladins. But we're still mothers, fathers, employees, employers and children with a different kind of Level Boss to face every other day - the scheming politician in the office, that indecisive client, the insecure senior management, the mother-in-law...

So we hold on to that kid. The one who makes us secretly happy when we stick the glow-in the dark stars on the wall of our little daughter's bedroom, the one who thinks that every tomorrow is like a fresh Saturday morning with new episodes of He-Man and GI Joe and especially the one who really knows no despair except when someone runs over his Optimus Prime in the driveway, easily forgotten in a new morning's sunrise. That kid is what keeps us sane in these increasingly challenging times. We need to chill and let the child out sometimes. C'mon! Say it with me! "THUNDERCATS HOOOOO..!!!!!"

Now if only they produced some Immaturity Pills for the office politicians...

KONG HEI FATT CHOY FOLKS!!!


Happy Chinese New Year Folks!!! The year of the Rat is upon is! Get your traps and cheese ready, market forces are unsteady, the future is hazy, the city is empty and every trunk road and highway is going to be seeing a lot more of us behind the wheel, on a plane, bus and train but hey, for the next coupla days it's going to be wanton beer guzzling, gambling, mah jong, ang pow collecting and visiting of family and friends weather we're celebrating or not.
Also, has anyone ever wondered if the early predictions of the soothsayers comes true? Such as this is will be turbulent year because of the clashing of Water and Fire elements or some such thing. Everyone's "ooooH" and Ahhhs" about it but then actually forget about it as the year drags on. One year later and we cant remember if the mediums and hororscope readers were spot on or not as another Chinese New Year comes prancing, prowling, gliding and skittering around the block.

I'll be in KL this year as the sis has just given birth to this cute 'lil runt so the family is on baby sitting backup squad duty (except for me of course!)
I'd like to wish all of you in these funny times, a good and fulfilling New Year ahead, where we mend broken bridges, strenghten the bonds of friendship and most importantly find the patience and guile to outlast that office politicians hiding behind the copier machine!
PS - I'm still getting a kick from folks who keep wishing me joy and a prosperous new year to me and my 'fly'...

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Managing Expectations of Trust

About a year and a half ago 3 men broke into my family home in Seremban. Hearing someone jiggling the lock of the locked bedroom which contained my sister, husband and 4 month old baby niece, my sis called the police. She was put on hold and then transferred to the Seremban police station and then had to speak to someone. In that time the robbers had pulled my parents from their unlocked room. My sis and husband were told to come out or else...

All in all they were lucky. It seems the 3 dudes were very professional and very calm besides the rusty parang that they were holding. They took their loot and made off. The cops turned up half and hour later. They said they couldn't find the area. Seremban is small and my nieghbourhood is known to all.

This was the begining of a 3 month crime spree. These guys were breaking in homes at random. The whole neighbourhood was living in fear. Break-ins and attempted break-ins were almost on a daily basis. They had no fear. They even attemmpted a second break-in into out home. Luckily the new security alarm had been installed.

One neighbor heard some noises downstairs one day. Locked themselves in their room and called the police. They stayed up in their room while they heard the dudes rummage around their house. The cops turned up at the gate and ...asked them to come down and open the gate while the robbers were potentially still in the house! The shouting debate went on from gate to bed room for a fair bit with the cops saying they could not come into a person's house or something like that. With all that the thieves left quietly.

Our neighbours got together. My bro in law drove the security watch detail. Everyone got alarms and they even paid out to a kitty to hire a security firm. It brought the whole neighbourhood closer. With the exodus of many of us to Kuala Lumpur the neighbourhood had become quieter. Now there was a vigilant friendliness about it. We chatted and waved to each other more.

They never caught the 3 dudes.

A few months ago, the bank called my Mum. Something about unpaid interests backdated 20 years. She said it's all be paid. They said no, pay up or else. She asked them to check and was told something vague and for HER to show proof that she had paid. Thanks the Gods the Old Skool mentality of hoarding receipts and dear old mum had them all She photocopied all the paperwork and faxed it over to the bank. And then silence. NO. FUCKING. APOLOGY. Just silence as if nothing happened. What if my mum didn't have those 20 year old payment slips?

How much trust do we put into institutions that we are supposed to put our trust in to come through for us when we need them? It really looks like we have no one to trust but ourselves and our own.

Friday, February 1, 2008

AirAsia X and The Red Arrows





At the Langkawi International Maritime and Air show in November 2007, an AirAsia X Airbus A330 flew in formation with the Red Arrows exhibition team. Thought I'd share some of the pictures courtesy from my buddies in AirAsia.

*And Anonymous, thanks for correcting my mistake!