Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Death Of Facebook

Holy Crap! Let's see what do we have here - Best Friend, Cool Friend, Top Friend, Close Friend and now Favourite Peeps??? How many applications do you need to shout out your declaration of loyalty to your mates?

I, the Chindian declare on this day, the 23rd of February 2008 that Facebook will plateau off in the year 2010 and plummet into obivilion. Older users will retreat into smaller groups, the horny ones will of course be plowing the various dating apps for action and the younger kids will have been turned off by the billion or so applications and move on to another social networking site probably with real time facilities.

Of course it's still cool. I get to see what my friends are doing all over the world, find old mates and make a sad attempt at keeping in touch regularly with them and even occasionally Flirt with some Hottie who immediately dumps my cheesy flirt (hey its bloody pre-programmed!) into the trash with a squeal that's reserved for marauding cockroaches.

It's the frakkin' weight of the applications that just might turn us off it, with only the Scrabble and Poker players keeping the Facebook traffic going together with the playas from Zoosk, Flirtable and what's the other one? Meet New People?

Isn't it nuts that the most hugs and kisses I get are from married women? Hey you OTHER lot, I've told you if your boy friends are large, Sentul types just send me beer please! It makes me breath easier than a Friend Fuck or Seduce Me request.

The most significant application is the indirect opportunity for you to gauge the strange and wonderful minds of your buddies and not so buddies alike. I'm actually honoured that on facebook I'm considered a Hot Chick, I've been given a Great Kisser Award from someone I've never kissed (oh crap, how drunk was I that night...?) and some by buddies who wish to know the most probing of all questions - "which FRIEND's TV series character am I?"

I've been sent virtual bubble wrap to pop out my daily stress and my friends have Blessed Me and sent me Good Karma too! Cheaper than buying me beer I guess... I don't know what Flavour I am or what Rainbow Color too as I've ignored this requests. And I must apologise to friends for accidentally forwarding some anal request to you as I'm still not used to these apps. I will never know who is Interested in me as in order to find out I have to invite ten of my friends into this application and the story goes on.

The Superwall application now has officially replaced the good old fashioned email where now, ALL of us get to see each others forwarded jokes, Youtube moments and worse, the re-emergence of the Chain Letter Gangs!

Hey, anyone out there get friend requests from strangers who just want to boost up their Friends lists? They don't even bother to reply your polite queries on who the fuk are they?

Of course the freaks are prowling the boundaries. Here's a freakish story, Melissa had a Friend request from some distant acquaintance. She added him on and things started to get a bit weird - messages and such. She visited his profile page and discovered.....ALL HIS FRIENDS WERE ONLY WOMEN CALLED MELISSA! Cue some Norman Bates stabbing soundtrack!

SO! I now use this thing to just chat with buds locally and abroad, send that occasional egg or plant, keep track on birthdays and yes, visit the land of Flirtable once in a while! Ladies, I am a Good Kisser and I'm a Love Doctor not a Love Machine and you must believe me its always best to find out first hand. Never trust applications that share the same home with those that pledge to donate money every time you Donate Carbon Offsets to save the world.

Oh yeah, Happy Thaipusam Y'all!

4 comments:

Nex said...

I got turned off loooooog ago. haven't even logged in for more then a month, and I have like 20 emails telling me to respond to 'stuff'.

I may just log in one last time to read the messages (if they're really sent by my friends; got some notifications before saying I got messages from so and so but there's no message when I logged in), and then delete my account.

Han Solo said...

Know what you mean. I don't particularly mind facebook that much because I've actually found old friends and stuff but some of the applications are really tiresome. There doesn't seem to be any end to them and you must admit, there are some pretty dodgy ones. I'm always open for a good laugh but a 'Have Sex' application? Eh? What about 'What kind of slut are you'? That's all in good fun but kinda scary.

Anonymous said...

have you heard facebook have online poker game provided by Ujogo And Ujogo is only offering its services to US players. Us Brits dont have it has bad as the Americans with the internet gambling enforcement act of 2006.We can still freely play our casino poker games online.At Least this is a step forward for american poker players as Ujogo are offering cash prizes.

Chindiana said...

Dudes sorry for the late reply, just caught your replies! Anon Feb 6! didn't know that mate! now every asian is probably praying for the same app here in our region.

Solo! sounds clowns like the dodgy stuff. Brings out the freak in them it seems! heh.

Nex, have some faith ler bro. I promise not to send you any Hot Chick applications!