Saturday, December 15, 2007

The Heartbreak Kid

I caught this movie in Singapore last week in all it's uncensored glory. Its the normal Farrelly Brothers nonsense but it was entertaining in a fluffy sort of way and then it slowed down to a comatose state towards the end. There were some entertaining parts especially in a censor free environment - the disturbing Bigfoot 'muff' shot, the "COCK ME!!!" scene, wondering if it was on purpose that both actresses looked a little like Cameron Diaz and Sandra Bullock respectively, etc.

The subject matter to me WAS disturbing though. Its a question many of us who are married or are/have been in a serious long term relationship have asked ourselves at least once in our relationships - "what if the right one is still out there?", "what if we could do better?" or "Holy Fuck! How come I didn't see that third nipple when we were dating???"

It was disturbing because I've never felt like that ever. Especially with the last relationship. In my day to day life I do cross Babe Territory quite often. There were temptations of course but never did I think the one I came home to was not the one for me. It was secure and comforting. Then of course nature took its course due to my procrastinations and I find myself with a lot of free time to start and mantain a juvenile blog.

Now its scary as I'm on new turf, especially as in the movie EVERYONE at the initial part of every relationship is only busting their best moves. All the mood swings and early morning farts are hidden under immaculate perfection, well timed laughs and feigned looks of interests. Under all those niceties and early bird chemistry COULD lie hidden a Daddy's Little Princess, The Tai-Tai Wannabe, The Possessive Monster, The Raider of the Bank Account or scarily that Dukun Princess in Hiding.

And you're so screwed when it becomes official and she does an about-turn on your sorry ass. Now I know why some of the girls I know (yeah, they're smarter than us) give themselves a relationship free period while they play the dating game. No strings attached for 6 months no matter how nice the dude. Eventually out of all the candidates some non-serial killer should technically emerge from the bottom of the barrel.

But we're not all perfect and this is not a perfect world. There is no soul mate out there. No The One for You. All this love shit is just marketing. After 6 months no matter how good you look, the dude is still going to check out other women. We're just built this way - attention spans of a 6 year old. Its whether you join in on his chick scoping action or at least acknowledge that at least his eyes are going to wander once in a while.

Just find someone out there who respects you, has half a brain, doesn't dress like your single 60year old aunty or laugh hysterically during sex and you're sorted. Then you can both work on creating this dream soul mate combo thing. Trust me, its easier this way and when you somehow find yourself sharing some chemistry with that new office colleague with the laughing eyes, at the back of your mind you just know that the rest of your life belongs to someone else whose heart belongs to you.


Han Solo said...

Can I also add: doesn't cry during sex?? Hahaha...but seriously: also that this person, whoever he or she is, will not look perfect 24 hours a day. When you've been in a relationship for a long time, you sometimes forget that they're human and forget what sparked it off in the first place.

Chindiana said...

crying during sex? why does that give me goosebumps???

You're right Solo, our partners will never look 100% all the time but you know that's when you're really in a good relationship, when they wake up dishevelled in the morning, stumble out in their old PJs, smacks their parched lips and stares blankly at you before stumbling back to flop back into bed and all you can think is - "damn, I love that thing..."

Nex said...

Don't forget those who behave like they're being possesses...THOSE are the ones you REALLY have to stay away from.

Thank God I don't get tempted easily anymore, haven been there done that far too long and far too often. If a girl can't figure me out in the first 10 minutes I move on. Have to deal with too many bimbos as it is so don't need one to spend my free time with.

This way even if I don't get the right one, at least she's someone I can live with :P