"He's a celebrity", came the hushed answer to my enquiry about the emcee at my friends wedding. " What do you mean? He's a celebrity?" I asked a little confused. I didn't recognise the pretty boy dude at the podium flashing his pearly whites at the crowd.
"He's the host of that morning TV show."
"Oh...Is that it???"
So it just hits me like a slap from an angry woman that we have as much 'celebrities' running around Kuala Lumpur as Datuks. But what IS a celebrity? Someone who is famous and popular or just someone who has screen time on TV and movies? Nope, it can't be because even our radio DJs are celebrities and I still can't pick them out in a crowd!
I 'm a confused nugget sitting right here because last week I heard that the dancers kicked off the TV reality show called Now You Think You Can Dance (I think this is the title that was show on NTV7 or 8TV are now called 'celebrity dancers' and you can book them for events and functions.
Angelina Jolie is not referred to as a celebrity first, she's an ACTRESS, David Letterman is a TALK SHOW HOST, Tupac is a DEAD RAPPER and Tom Cruise is an IMPOSSIBLE GRINNING LEPRECHAUN/HOBBIT HYBRID MUTANT SAMURAI MARTIAN. When Oprah went back stage she DIDN'T say "We're not booking anymore short fucking CELEBRITIES who'll fuck up my couch ever again!" She just mumbled, "fucking ACTORS..."
So this 'celebrity' phenomenon is almost a Malaysian creation(well not quite but screw it) as all our celebrities seem to be triathletes as they almost always seem to be multi talented. I guess its only inevitable. You're not going to sell that many English albums in Malaysia to pay for that BMW M Series.
So they sing, DJ, read the news, act in local dramas and now even do the odd stand-up comedy routine to build up their profile while they rake in the ringos from emceeing events, posh weddings, going into music and movie/TV production to sell back to the stations they work for or the advertisers they have schmoozed with.
Fair play I guess but it just gets me wanting to me a 'celebrity' too. What the hell do I need to do man? Ok, lets see:
1. Blogging is a communication medium. Check.
2. Communication skills? I can communicate with my dobi dude effectively. Check.
3. Popular? I have more than once been hugged on facebook. Check.
4. Popular requests for my presence? Hmm...lots of requests from alcoholics to meet them in pubs so CHECK.
5. Other celebrity friends? Fuk...
6. Offer to emcee? Fuk...
Hmmm.... This is still salvageable though.
HANNAH TAN!!!! Please call me!
Now anyone out there need an emcee? I however do not do children's birthdays if I'm not allowed to swear at the fucking clowns. I hear they're celebrities too.