Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Women - Stuff They Do

I just came across this old draft I had done a while back. The title was Top 5 things that Women Do That Piss me Off. But since I've had a hugely gastronomic Raya weekend and we're all in the festive mood I thought I'd go all Chirpy Chipmunk today.

So these women right, frustrating and annoying creatures that they are, have their moments that makes me realize that we're lucky that they have us around in the first place.

The Top 5 list below is nothing serious verging on Tamil movie dramatics. Its just a list of things that I think women/girl folk do that I think is extremely appealing/cute/adorable. Here goes:

1. The 'I Need to Pee So Bad I'm Going to Explode' Jiggy Dance
You know this one. They' re standing outside the occupied toilet, their legs are clasped together or they're hugging themselves and they are doing the one-two step jig. What makes the picture appealing is sometimes the look on their faces - a combo of manic nervousness and surprised amusement at their own predicament!

2. When they catch themselves talking to you when they are supposed to be mad at you.
Its like the day after you forgot your anniversary. You're sitting quietly in the room because you don't want your head torn off by the remnants of her leftover Amazonian rage. She walks in and casually asks, "Did you see that idiot neighbour? Think he ran over his dog again..."

She stops.

Catches her breath.

Realizes she screwed up.

Bites her lip.

Turns to you and hisses, "Don't say anything! I'm still mad at you!" Twirls around, adds "Idiot" for good measure and marches off. But if you look out from underneath the table where you are probably hiding by now, you'll see the tiniest of smiles from the woman that still officially has a couple more hours of sulking quota to fulfill.

3. Singing and their laugh
I love it when they sing, In the shower, in the car, when they're cooking or even when they're busy tapping away on the lap top. It's the most naturally pleasant sound in the world next to the sound of a happy woman's laugh.

A woman's laugh comes from within, almost from her soul. When we laugh its almost maniacal and probably inflicted by some juvenile joke about how that dumb Mat Salleh went after that 8 foot tall transvestite near Wisma Genting, mumbling drunkenly "that's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.". Its just a surface sound. That's why we don't do it so often unless you're the office politician. Women - its part of them, hence the sometimes unexplained giggling whenever they congregate around the water dispenser. Or maybe we just forgot to zip up that day. Damn...

4. That Uncontrollable Urge to Dance
Women and music again. They're better dancers than us especially when a pack of them get together and they're all just dancing the night away. It seems their whole bodies were made to move to rhythms and they're so happy just bopping along to any tune out there.

Guys don't do that unless we're gay or we're desperately trying to pick up that hottie in that cute little outfit. We dance like drunken camels choking on a fish bone. End of story. Full stop.

Women could go on all night, enjoying all manner of tunes from trip hop to Bon Jovi to God help us, Rihanna and her frakkin' umbrella.

5. When they get beautiful
We're so used to seeing them slightly frazzled after work, even the best business suits can't hide the weariness after a long day at work, the tired look in their eyes. On the weekends, comfort is the look for the day as they go about the business of some domestic chores or catching up with the girls at La Bodega.

Then one day you've got that wedding, that company dinner or your buddy scored you seats at some posh fund raiser at the Hilton.

It's the evening and she wonders what to wear. She puts on her make-up and brushes her long, long hair. You're sitting in the hall watching that 70's Show and she walks out from the bedroom. She's stunning in her strapless gown and she's glowing. Her hair is blown and falls perfectly around her face. The make up is just right and the lip stick is tempting. She smells of magic as she walks past hurriedly to pick up that pair of matching shoes. She's late but she doesn't care.

She puts on her shoes, grabs her purse and looks up a little unsure of herself for the first time in the evening. The vision of perfection before you then asks a little nervously, "Do I look all right?"

*some words courtesy from Mr. Clapton
** and ladies, yes, you do look wonderful every night


Nex said...

Who are you kidding? This post has got NOTHING to do with cute things WOMEN do.

You poor poor thing you...

Go find some women's shoulder to cry on, quick...

Chindiana said...


Nex said...

You mean you don't realise it? Or maybe I'm reading between the lines too much, in my moment of super hyped-up sensitivity mode...

Han Solo said...

How shweet! Talking about dancing, I remember how our student union club had different themes every night - Monday was 70s night, Tuesday was 60s (the dressing got quite scary on Tuesday), Wednesday was rock, grunge and metal (full of long-haired dudes), Thursday was house (extra E's here), Friday was R&B, Saturday was British pop I think. I forget what Sunday was but there was one week when my friends and I went there every night and it was absolutely insane. First and last time we did that!

Chindiana said...

I'm still getting over Han Solo and the Extra Es! Sounds like a great name for an '80s band!

winniechan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chindiana said...

AH CHANZZZ what are you doing here???

Bloody hell you people...anyway most of these are from the Melissa days and then compounded whenever i see it here and there but yeah it's what i think is appealing. Call me a sucker or maybe I WAS sufferring from lemang overdose!

Anonymous said...

winniechan said...
OMFG... Whatever you ate or smoked during Raya please stay off of it... I can't believe you wrote this!!!

The only appealing/cute/adorable thing women do is when they are not annoyingly low on self esteem dying for reassurance from people around her, and being self destructive.

oh yes... not forgetting... she must be able to smile naturally.

but then again... if those are your top 5... i'm happy for ya... RAYA !!!

October 19, 2007 9:54 PM

Chindiana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I'm surprised with what you've written!
However, some of your friends are... Insentitive I guess.
So when's our "tani" session?
Our madam must hv given up hope waiting for us to call for a session.

Chindiana said...

Hey V! set it up! Next week i'm free! prob wed? let me know la!