Saturday, September 29, 2007
FF as its fondly known was one of the few places that sold action figures and comics at reasonable prices and the little store would be full of collectors on Saturdays just chilling and hanging out. The amiable Davin and his friendly mum at the counter were miles apart from the drones you see at Toys 'R Us or some of the greedy hyenas at the 'collector' stores.
They didn't mark up popular new items unlike many scalpers masquerading as toy stores today.
But that's the name of the game and the evolution of our retail environment begins its next phase, although I still hope that there is life for small retailers to thrive in what is growing into a hopelessly impersonal world.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I hope to get tickets to the Devils vs Roma midweek match as I've never seen a European Cup match before.And no, I'm not a fan of either club but football is football. There might even be an event I hope to crash with Paul Gascoigne and Les Ferdinand. Other than that it will probably be drinking Guinness and hoping to be able to get into some club without too much fuss from the anal bouncers - "No sneakers, Timberlands or T-shirts mate!"
I'll have to go for the customary bangers and mash just to satisfy the urge for 'local' food. I've stayed away from Manchester fish and chips after the last experience where the i swear the grease from the cardboard 'tray' came alive and attempted to strangle one of my socks.
I still haven't downloaded songs for the MP3 and don't know which half finished book I should take along for the potentially 22 hour flight. I need to plan if I can get out of packing an extra pair of shoes for 'posh' meetings. For once i managed to find some stuff - the map of Manchester is spotted and stored. I've got to remember to pack a Malaysian jersey to wear over there as no one will know what team it is. Hope I don't get kicked in the face for wearing that at the Theatre of Dreams. Malaysia Boleh eh wot?
1. The Current Reigning Champion
I call someone on the hand phone. It rings and rings. No reply. No prob, my dear friend is busy popping pimples on their butt. I hang up. A couple of hours later I get this sms -
What do they mean, these people? I find people who say this to me extremely self absorbed with themselves.Can you clowns please get this - IF I CALL YOU MORONS THAT MEANS I NEED TO TALK TO YOU AND NOT TO PLAY SMS PING PONG! I normally answer "no" and then ignore their confused follow-up sms.
I abhor sms-ing unless I'm flirting with some babe and we all know how rarely that shit happens. Can someone tell me why would they ever send me that?Please, these are smart people. I need answers!
2. The Most Fake
You meet some old friend that you know in passing. Polite conversation passes and it's time to exit left. Old buddy says to the space above your head - "Keep in touch" with as much feeling as a kidney stone from a crack head's left nut (ok, ok doesn't make sense but I'm venting so let it be...) before walking away with purpose.
Keep in touch? With what? Your balls? The back of your head? That chirpy disposition? Why don't YOU call me if you want to 'keep in touch"?
3. Really needs a kick up the arse
You're planning a night out. You want to hang out with a few friends in a club. Finally you call Puffy McDoogle.
"Hey, we're going out. C'mon and join la".
"HMMMM.....Who ELSE is coming?"
I've gotten away once with "your mama." But i normally end up saying "just you and me" and see how they take it. This is a friend, mind you, and they are picking and choosing who deserves their company. Fuk 'em...
4. The Story Teller
You get into a conversation and your buddy launches in a news commentary on how they moved the water cooler from it's precarious position near the sink and across the treacherous terrain of the office pantry to its current position near the entrance door.
The monologue goes - "I said to them whatever whatever whatever and They said to me whateverwhatever whatever". Then I laughed and I said to them whatever whateverwhatever and then I said whatever whatver whatever, etc, etc... "
Its a blow by blow of the exact conversation they had and it also revolves around what they did. At the end of the 'story' you're left waiting for a punch line or you'll be laying in a pool of your own blood after stabbing yourself repeatedly with a chicken bone.
5. "On the Way" - A variation
You know your appointment is late so you call them on their mobile.
"Hey what time's your ETA?"
"Ya, ya. On the way boss!"
"No, no, what time do you think you'll get here?"
"Ya, definitely I'll be there!"
I would like to present to the folks featured above, a special gift from the bottom of my heart as a token of piece and harmony:
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
It was given to me by an elderly relative. Bless her. She thought it was nice. I can't seem to find a place for this thing. At least she meant well. But over the years I've gotten some stuff that is evidence enough that friends are just keeping me warm so they can either try to get them free Nikes, airline tickets and toys or borrow money from me (highly unlikely as I'm not exactly rolling in it).
I'd prefer abstinence instead of charity from folks in this case. My Top 5 inexplicable gifts from friends and family:
1. Football Association of Malaysia coffee mug (sigh...)
2. A Titanic movie poster (what the fuk man...???)
3. A hardcover copy of Shindler's List (obviously I fooled someone into thinking I was a sensitive intellectual)
4. Postcards of kittens from Hong Kong
5. A heavy duty outdoor emergency whistle (actually the intentions were pure but we'll, I haven't taken it out of the box for the past 5 years)
So to maintain the balance of the universe I'm trying to stockpile the gifts below for 'special' people and also for the folks in tomorrow's post as well.
Monday, September 24, 2007
I haven't seen such naivete in such a long time. It was her second week at work and she didn't seem to even realise that she had half the office turned on and the the other turned off. I also found it fascinating that she was Chindian. I haven't see one of those since this morning when I was checking for nose hairs.
I didn't notice her as I'm rarely in the office and even then I'm holed up in my office throwing sheep at people on Facebook.
The ladies in the office were whispering about the young thing. They called each other to check her out. Some stared disapprovingly, some others stared unappreciatively and some just checked out the competition.
Then the weirdest sensation hit me as I was listening to the conversations among the older women. This weird feeling that I was drifting between the time barrier. All of a sudden I was in my twilight years, old and wrinkly, man boobs flapping on my skinny chest looking at younger men flirting with even younger, hotter women and me feeling helpless and frustrated. Then I'm younger and the world is my own to mould but I'm unsure of what lies ahead and except for what little I know of myself. Not good when its a bad attitude to authority and a sarcastic mouth...
Then I'm back to reality. There's a ton of work to be done. I going to be late for my 4.30 and still haven't sent out that last email. That report also needs to be done by tomorrow. No 70's show for me tonight.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
I realised this when the Pak Cik in the food court of the office just stared at me from the moment I sauntered in at 12.30pm and started piling my plate with some greasy lunch till I went to the counter to pay. Of course my first reaction to anyone staring at me was to check if my fly was open. A quick glance ensured me that Little Chindy didn't have an escape route. Back to Pak Cik and he had gone on to serving some ladies behind me while I did my zipper inspection.
The second sign was when I went to Chinese chap fan joint and the lady in the counter asked me in English what I wanted. The drinks dude also asked me in English and politely at that! And these are folks who always used to speak to me in Cantonese in the past! I think the English was just make it 100% that if anyone was there from some government departments they could say that they spoke to me in English because I didn't look Malay?
I've stopped being rebellious at the mistaken identities during Puasa month. At one point I used to mentally dare people to ask for my ID. No one did. I just got bad service or stares. Only McDonald's staff have actually asked me nicely and apologetically if I was Muslim.
A long time ago, when i was in a Chinese coffeshop with a friend in Pertama Complex, 2 cops who saw me waited outside for an hour till I came out. As they walked towards us my friend knowing I was waiting for some drama wisely put his arm around me and started talking animatedly to me in Cantonese. Unsure, the cops stopped and walked away, which deflated my excitement at whipping out my ID in front of them with some choice words.
The most embarrassing and a little tense filled occasion again in one of those years gone by,was when I rushed into a McDonald's on the first day of Puasa which of course i had forgotten. I was also at that point blissfully unaware that it was like 10 minutes bofore the official time to break fast. ) I got pissed off at the unexpectedly long lines, bought my burger, whipped it out and started chomping on it. The whole outlet suddenly grew quiet. I looked up and I realised although I looked like an Abdul Chindiana, I was the only Muslim in the whole place! My jaw literally dropped. I wrapped up my burger, mumbled something about "saya campur" which probably didn't help the situation, and walked quickly out and finished my Chicken Burger in the fire escape.
The Eurasion friends who look Malay especially the women suddenly seem to discover a new found strength in their faith. The love hearts on the necklaces become crosses or the crosses become bigger. Some even go for that cleavage action because no self respecting Muslim woman would be seen flounting her Yayas during the fasting month.
I've come to realise that it's not their fault if Muslims or others think I'm Malay becomes sometimes I do look it. So now it's a case of prevention is better than a sulking/merajuk session by either party in case the case of mistaken identity does blow out of proportion. Damn, I'm getting old.....
When i heard they lauched Google Sky a while back and I updated my Google Earth program and found that all most areas in KL and Malaysia were updated too(updated but still not 100% - Curve still under construction). It's still fun all this while for those odd times when I feel like exploring the world from the comfort of my home.
Click on the images for better visuals to appreciate the details.
The Chrysler Building in New York. The perspective in the US seemed different. Probably more satellite images/surveillance pointed in that direction??? More Conspiracy Theories Amway!!! Welcome back dude! : )
Hey, you even get to see Acha Curry House near Jalan Gasing, Petaling Jaya.
Google Sky is an amateur astronomers wet dream. It shows you the sky as seen from that particular country. It may not be as fun as Google Earth as the Universe is just so vast but it makes me feel that I'm reading a children's edition of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Click on that galaxy and you zoom in closer and I cakap sama yew, you can get happy imagining you're on the Millenium Falcon for that 2 seconds!
The Andromeda Galaxy. I had a toy horse called Andromeda once. Sorry...
Literally now the Universe is not so mysterious anymore. We literally can print out the night sky that is directly above us (with constellation and planet guides) take an easy chair outside with a beer and just start learning about the galaxy we live in.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Moving on from conspiracy theories - bear with me, layan the download time and listen to this cover. I heard her on the radio on one of those quite Sunday nights at home and it was perfect. She died at 33 of melanoma, undiscovered by all except her hometown. Posthumously her albums have sold over 4 million copies.Such is life eh?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Not sure if some of you read the comment page from my MLM rant from yesterday morning. Did anyone realise that the comment left below was not from a reader of this blog at all and was probably (1'm 99% sure) a PR unit from Amway.
I posted my rant at about 12.38AM and this very, very nice and friendly feedback came in at 4.41AM.
IBOFightback - Fighting the Amway Myths said...
As a fellow member of N21 special ops I can say that young grasshopper is NOT following our indoctrination ... I mean, training ;-) .... step 1 is to ask about you! oh well.And some of us have plenty of spark, believe me :-)ps congrats on living the life of your dreams, that's what it's all about afterall. Amway is A way, but it's by no means the only way.pps it's double x - give it a try :-)
September 18, 2007 4:41 AM
IBOFightback - Fighting the Amway Myths
Get the Facts - The Truth About Amway and Quixtar
The Truth About Amway and Quixtar Forums
Quixtar and Amway North America, News and Views
Amway and Quixtar Business Review
The Truth About Amway and Quixtar
Amway Latin America - News and Views
Amway Australia & New Zealand - News and Views
Amway Quixtar Video Blog
A Liberal in Amway?
Amway Europe News and Views
My Web Page
On Blogger Since
1. The dude is not a blogger.
2. He's obviously paid by Amway to send in PR comments to sooth frazzled and pissed of nerves.
3. More importantly if you look at it, do you see how professionally it's done? The tone, the words, the easy going style sorta followed my own patterns! The only mistake was it came from an obviously corporate site or else I would have thought it was really a cool MLM operator.
My question to anyone who can help me because I'm really curious - What system did they use to track my negative comments against the company? Key words? Randomly typing in Screw Amway on Google? I assume it must be a global program because I can't see some guy in the Malaysian office doing this or even an outsourced foreign customer service person in India or Philippines.
And can you imagine this PR machinery working for governments who really want to win over the online and blogging community?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
On Saturday, the 15th of September 2007, i found myself face to face, in my very home with one of the most evil of evils. The Multi Level Marketing Sales Rep.
He was an old friend. He'd been trying to pitch me some scheme or another for the past 10 years. We shared the same birthday and for about 7-8 years would always meet up wherever we were to catch up for drinks on or about the Big Day. He stopped being a friend when he would only meet me if I would would agree to go play that Robert Kurosaki game with him and his friends. Of course I felt it was my duty to defend the honour of childhood friendship, so I told him gently to fuck off and eat shit.
But in true cultish style he came back again and again with that Hallelujah/Hare Krishna/Moonie smile and chirpy disposition. This time around he was representing the Amway special ops unit, Network 21. I really have no respect for this offshoot agency. The sneaky morons that approached me in the past just came across as untrustworthy, shifty eyed, self absorbed wankers. "Psst, we've got this gathering every Wednesday to unveil this great business plan. You must come but I cant' tell you what it's about until you do..." Give the potential flasher a raincoat folks.
I don't know about you but I find these MLM folks totally devoid of living spark. Their lives are driven to find eternal security but that search has stolen the will to live life to the fullest. Yes, its supposed to come when they reach that King Wanker status where they work 8 months a year but still, can't they look like they're having a life getting there? Do they all have to look and sound so insistently desperate?
Well, all he said was he was going to drop something off. And then.....with what i must admit was a stroke of pure genius, he brought his little kids!!!!!! Now cuss as I do, I couldn't tell Daddy-O off in front of the kids, so the drop off became a talk and that talk dragged on because he had a checklist to go through. I put the kids in the hall and luckily the Cartoon Network was on. Uh... because....because...I like the back ground sounds when I'm going through my 200 crunches for the day. curses...
He ran through the proposal, text book style. He didn't bother to find out what i was doing. He didn't even know I had a new job. He just wanted a disciple. I was bored and he HAD driven all the way from quite a way off and after me, he was going off to another presentation. I mean it was a Saturday. I was going to watch football in a bar later and well, poor fella right? So with only one hissed "Fuck this man..." I bought some product from him. Some energy thing, sounded like Triple X, Weapon X, Ex-girlfriend? Whatever... Pow! RM120. Then the monster reared it's ugly head and he said actually if you buy this you need this salmon extract to carry it into your system. Pow Pow!!! RM89. So now multi-vitamins need a chaser??? Like I need a third nipple...
OK - here's my bit. YES MLM WORKS. Happy? If money and the endless thirst for wealth is what drives you then yes GO. FOR. IT. It works.
So this is where it's important to you MLM dick heads - I LOVE WHAT I DO. I LOVE MY LIFE. I LIVE FOR MY JOB SO ITS NOT A JOB. ITS PART OF MY LIFE. I really do not have time to make extra money outside of what I do.
If I screw if up so be it but I will not live in a fear for the lack of money because I am getting paid and always have been paid doing what I love. I am not looking at working 8 months a year. Or having a Porche in my porch. Or a massive home with a swimming pool I won't use.
So please, PLEASE dear sirs and madams, I respect the patience and drive you have because it cannot be easy being seing seen as an arsehole to all and sundry. It is impressive and props to you, but can you stop taking credit for Asafa Powell breaking the 100meters world record and can you please leave me alone?
Terima kasih dan majulah sukan untuk negara.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
In the space that I actually took to contact Kelly I got all sorts of virtual livestock thrown at me, I suddenly find myself the owner of an aquarium, I wake up one morning and find myself a Vampire Bride, c'mon man, A fukin' Vampire Bride!!!!! I can't kick anyone else's Vampire ass since they're all like God Vampire status or some shit and I have so few friends that i just end up sending them booze and that stupid button badge application that doesn't seem to work most of the time! C'mon Facebook, get it sorted! Why would I want to send this ......
I signed up on Garden so I'd be able to send flowers to Hot Chix and to some gangsters in Klang BUT I realised I automatically get a garden as well, which has since been filled with all manner of petal life! So I'm a Vampire Bride with a garden, an aquarium and a werewolf that seems to be everyone else punching bag. Thank God, Lee Mei filled up my Solar System with some alien life and some rockets and that helped dilute that gay factor on my page a little.
So how long is it going to last? Smoke signals gave way to drums who gave way to the Pony Express who lost out to the postal system. Letters gave way to emails, who then lost a tired race to MSN and Messangers ,who then got Friendstered and MySpaced and who now find folks are relocating to Facebook. Well it's not all bad right, everyone in the Facebook Universe looks hot! Some nice sedap women living out there. And they ain't from Seremban folks...
Its a great way to find old friends and meet that odd blind date. Everyone seems hooked on the endless applications so we'll see if the boredom level sets in after the next year or so.
C'mon people send me more Booze Mail!!!
Friday, September 14, 2007
Far, far more fun that Nicole Kidman, her tight aunty sweaters and hippie aliens in Invasion.
Since its banned here, head on over to your friendly neighbourhood Shiny Disc Hero for a copy. Great viewing after a stressful week. Check the copy as mine only had Planet Terror. The Kurt Russel Deathproof was missing (its a 2 in 1 movie) and particularly the retro movie trailers which i was looking forward to - Werewolf Women of the SS! A pity G'house bombed at the box off or else I'd be waiting for the next installment!
This is one of the best worst movies I've seen, one legged strippers with assault weapons for legs, zombies, cars, babes and violence and gore so ridiculous is hilarious! Tarantino's and his protege's (yeah i cant spell his name!) ode to the C Grade shit from the '70s or was it '60s. Who cares! Good for a laugh!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
So I'm supposed to answer some Top 5 questions and then forward to 5 people I know. Since I only know you bunch of batangs who read this blog, get ready to answer........
5 things in my handbag
- ?????????????????? OK Sorry ladies it's been a while since I crossed dressed.
5 things in my purse (i guess wallet in Jantanland)
- Credit Cards
- Toys 'R Us membership card
5 things in my favourite room (that's my hall)
- My supercalifragilistic comfy couch that anatomically conforms to my ass
- My CD collection
- The Breakfast at Tiffany's retro poster (which is on loan. I haven't forgotten Small!)
- The Lava Lamp
- The figurine of that sexy little manga angel on my DVD player
5 things I would like/love to do
- Explore Mongolia
- Open up a bar in Guam or Bali
- Write a bestseller that will surpass that Potter tit
- Have nasi lemak breakfast with Tun Doc Mahatir, Stephen Hawking and Elvis
- A non-PR related date with Hannah Tan
5 things I'm currently doing
- Starting up a new job and trying to build it up as soon as possible
- Trying to figure out this dating game after being out of it for so long
- Trying NOT to be mean to silly women
- Trying to sell off my toy collection and grow up!
Haha! SO NOW I hereby TAG the following folks to get in on the action:
1. The only woman I know who hasn't been tagged yet (I think) - June http://www.junex2.blogspot.com/
2. Pol at http://fast-c-nation.blogspot.com/ - c'mon Mr. Sensitivity!
3. Richard Bart Augustin at http://thewordofbart.blogspot.com/ - Care to share Evilness Incarnate?
4. Ah Lim - get your self a blog!!!! - or post your answers on mine!
5. And of course Mr H at http://www.swaktalk.blogspot.com/ - i just know you're sensitive deep inside dude.
Come gents, get your groove on and get in touch with your female sides! I'll forward the answers to the women who started this thing. I'll even answer the handbag thing if you do too!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Finally, with Mattel recalling over 20 million toys and one dead factory manager(suicide) later, we get proof that the Chinese manufacturing Goliath is just as adept at dicking around with safety issues as the best morons in the industry.
I'm not even going into the fact that it's probably a vicious cycle. Client squeezes factory for better margins, factories cut corners to make it worth their while to keep manufacturing and every thing's sunshine and rainbows until some little girl starts getting crossed eyed from smelling Barbie's hair.
So Mattel goes into canggih PR mode to ensure that there's no backlash at their Christmas collections of the 100th version of Buzz Lightyear or Volcano Armour Batman. That's fine actually. They will actually DO something about it. They're Americans. If they Sin they're subjugated to eternal damnation in Legal Hell.
Nike used to get called up on subjecting skeletal Pakistani kids into making their footballs. But that was only because they were the largest sports brand in the world and these NGOs need to go after high profile targets to get noticed. I don't think adidas was making their balls in Hamburg man.
But really, the global big boys are forced to comply in some way or another. Its actually the smaller companies especially local boys that must be gleefully having an Up Yours Barbeque to lax safety or quality stadards. In Asia who actually keeps them in check? What do they put in our food, plastics and fabrics?
The Asian cheapskate way of cutting corners is most excellent as Asian consumers will actually lap up what ever we give them as any better alternative would probably be more expensive. Has anyone compared locally made chocolates to the imported versions of the same brand? Can anyone remember the taste of certain brands of bread and buns from their childhood? Is it better Made in Malaysia? Not to me man. 'Cept maybe the pirated DVDs...
Government buildings falling apart, bridges cracking, environmental pollution, illegal deforestation, dodgy government officials and you think some one's looking into what happens INSIDE local manufacturing facilities?
Anyway, if anyone has the banned Sarge Jeep from the Pixar Cars collection, I'll take if off your kid's hands. I think I can get a good price for it on Ebay. One man's meat and all that...
Friday, September 7, 2007
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
*Picture copyright Chindiana Trails and photographer
** Toys from own colletion
Sunday, September 2, 2007
I hear Carey Island is famous for its seafood but today I was heading for the Golden Hope oil palm plantations. I was looking for long and flat terrain as I'm looking at taking up cycling to ease of the pressure on my busted knees.