Saturday, September 29, 2007

End of An Era

Notch one up for Big Business. On October 31st Final Frontier in Taman Tun, one of the last remaining mom and pop comic stores in Malaysia will close it's doors. Sales have been depleting, the Kementerian Dalam Negeri confisticates comics that have supposedly violence, supernatural and sexual elements. That's like 90% of comic book content! Ironically the same books are sold in larger chain stores like Borders and Kinokuniya. Obviously the big boys have better influence.

FF as its fondly known was one of the few places that sold action figures and comics at reasonable prices and the little store would be full of collectors on Saturdays just chilling and hanging out. The amiable Davin and his friendly mum at the counter were miles apart from the drones you see at Toys 'R Us or some of the greedy hyenas at the 'collector' stores.

They didn't mark up popular new items unlike many scalpers masquerading as toy stores today.

But that's the name of the game and the evolution of our retail environment begins its next phase, although I still hope that there is life for small retailers to thrive in what is growing into a hopelessly impersonal world.

Lovely!

YIPEEEEKAYE! Yesterday was one of the best starts to a day any human being can have! Period. Full Stop!

I received a message on Thursday from AM Finance - something garbled which ended with "please call AM Finance." Damn, they're coming to repossess my car, was the first thing that flashed across my mind. I'm quite forgetful with the finance boys and have had the odd lawyer letter sent to me over the years after I had missed the mandatory 2 months payment. I've never really tracked the car payments and always considered it a pain. I hate that so much money in an investment depreciates the moment your ass touches the seat.

So I woke up early, picked up my laundry, killed time with some mee hoon goreng and went in with my ringo$$$ to get the hounds off my back.

After the lady at the counter started punching in some things into the PC, she started looking concerned. She meekly said something like ".....last payment"

"Last payment? I think I paid past month."

"mumblemumblemumble.....last payment. Mumble mumble mumble $$$640"

"Ya la. Bulan lalu. Just tell me the extra. Is that the outstanding?"

"Encik Chindiana, ini your last payment untuk kereta encik. Balance I give back RM640."

"????? Oh....."

At this point I think I started grinning like an idiot because the poor, patient lady looked a little alarmed. "Please take a seat, I'll call you later."

So I say again YIPPPPEEEEEKAYE ! I also took the balance RM640 and dumped it into one of my credit card accounts. Yeap, celebrating like an adult now...

One down - 2 credit cards to go, the apartment and the factory lot. The cards should be done next month. The apartment's cool as I took out a loan with an enterprising aunt who figured interest on an apartment with her punk nephew would be higher than letting it rot in fixed deposit. Its the factory lot that's a right pain in the ass.

As some of you know its my dad's, that I'm paying off. Something he paid too much for and I have no idea what he's doing with it. He comes up with excuses everytime I talk to him about selling it and I'm getting worried. I have no idea exactly where it is, it's size ranges from 2,500 - 3,500 sq ft depending on his mood when he tells me about it. Much too small for a pirated VCD manufacturing facility (hmm..maybe not), don't think he's breeding 8 legged headless mutant chickens and I seriously doubt if he's even renting it out.

I've got this image that the day I stumble on it I'll find out its been turned in a pole dancing gogo bar for stressed out Indonesian and Bangladeshi illegals. So that'll be me with a plastic bag over my head if you ever come across some report of a vice raid somewhere in Seremban in the dailies.

Anyway, I'm off to get a quality steering lock for my car. Have a great week folks!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Manchester

So I've got to leave on a charter flight to Manchester this Sunday. Tomorrow, I've got to pay my bills, pick up my laundry and try to finish all the pending paperwork before I leave. Also got to get some victim to water my weeds and start up my car for the week I'll be away. I've really got to find a girl friend soon. Anyone has Hannah Tan's number? (Bart, don't jinx it...)

I hope to get tickets to the Devils vs Roma midweek match as I've never seen a European Cup match before.And no, I'm not a fan of either club but football is football. There might even be an event I hope to crash with Paul Gascoigne and Les Ferdinand. Other than that it will probably be drinking Guinness and hoping to be able to get into some club without too much fuss from the anal bouncers - "No sneakers, Timberlands or T-shirts mate!"

I'll have to go for the customary bangers and mash just to satisfy the urge for 'local' food. I've stayed away from Manchester fish and chips after the last experience where the i swear the grease from the cardboard 'tray' came alive and attempted to strangle one of my socks.

I still haven't downloaded songs for the MP3 and don't know which half finished book I should take along for the potentially 22 hour flight. I need to plan if I can get out of packing an extra pair of shoes for 'posh' meetings. For once i managed to find some stuff - the map of Manchester is spotted and stored. I've got to remember to pack a Malaysian jersey to wear over there as no one will know what team it is. Hope I don't get kicked in the face for wearing that at the Theatre of Dreams. Malaysia Boleh eh wot?

WATDOYOUMEAN???

I really don't understand what makes perfectly normal homosapiens ask or say really stupid and senseless things repeatedly. Here are my Top 5 Stupid and Senseless Things People Say To Me:

1. The Current Reigning Champion
I call someone on the hand phone. It rings and rings. No reply. No prob, my dear friend is busy popping pimples on their butt. I hang up. A couple of hours later I get this sms -

"You called?"

What do they mean, these people? I find people who say this to me extremely self absorbed with themselves.

Can you clowns please get this - IF I CALL YOU MORONS THAT MEANS I NEED TO TALK TO YOU AND NOT TO PLAY SMS PING PONG! I normally answer "no" and then ignore their confused follow-up sms.

I abhor sms-ing unless I'm flirting with some babe and we all know how rarely that shit happens. Can someone tell me why would they ever send me that?Please, these are smart people. I need answers!

2. The Most Fake
You meet some old friend that you know in passing. Polite conversation passes and it's time to exit left. Old buddy says to the space above your head - "Keep in touch" with as much feeling as a kidney stone from a crack head's left nut (ok, ok doesn't make sense but I'm venting so let it be...) before walking away with purpose.

Keep in touch? With what? Your balls? The back of your head? That chirpy disposition? Why don't YOU call me if you want to 'keep in touch"?

3. Really needs a kick up the arse
You're planning a night out. You want to hang out with a few friends in a club. Finally you call Puffy McDoogle.

"Hey, we're going out. C'mon and join la".

"HMMMM.....Who ELSE is coming?"
I've gotten away once with "your mama." But i normally end up saying "just you and me" and see how they take it. This is a friend, mind you, and they are picking and choosing who deserves their company. Fuk 'em...

4. The Story Teller
You get into a conversation and your buddy launches in a news commentary on how they moved the water cooler from it's precarious position near the sink and across the treacherous terrain of the office pantry to its current position near the entrance door.

The monologue goes - "I said to them whatever whatever whatever and They said to me whateverwhatever whatever". Then I laughed and I said to them whatever whateverwhatever and then I said whatever whatver whatever, etc, etc... "

Its a blow by blow of the exact conversation they had and it also revolves around what they did. At the end of the 'story' you're left waiting for a punch line or you'll be laying in a pool of your own blood after stabbing yourself repeatedly with a chicken bone.

5. "On the Way" - A variation

You know your appointment is late so you call them on their mobile.

"Hey what time's your ETA?"

"Ya, ya. On the way boss!"

"No, no, what time do you think you'll get here?"

"Ya, definitely I'll be there!"

"??????"

I would like to present to the folks featured above, a special gift from the bottom of my heart as a token of piece and harmony:

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Nice Gift

I came across this monstrosity when I was cleaning out one of my cupboards in the guest room. This picture does justice to this rainbow glass effect fruit bowl. Its one of those things that get rainbow colored at varying angles.

It was given to me by an elderly relative. Bless her. She thought it was nice. I can't seem to find a place for this thing. At least she meant well. But over the years I've gotten some stuff that is evidence enough that friends are just keeping me warm so they can either try to get them free Nikes, airline tickets and toys or borrow money from me (highly unlikely as I'm not exactly rolling in it).

I'd prefer abstinence instead of charity from folks in this case. My Top 5 inexplicable gifts from friends and family:

1. Football Association of Malaysia coffee mug (sigh...)

2. A Titanic movie poster (what the fuk man...???)

3. A hardcover copy of Shindler's List (obviously I fooled someone into thinking I was a sensitive intellectual)

4. Postcards of kittens from Hong Kong

5. A heavy duty outdoor emergency whistle (actually the intentions were pure but we'll, I haven't taken it out of the box for the past 5 years)

So to maintain the balance of the universe I'm trying to stockpile the gifts below for 'special' people and also for the folks in tomorrow's post as well.

Here goes:

Finger nose hair trimmer.

Mother Theresa breath spray. Makes you smell like saint!

X-ray travel bag.



Cassette Bag.



Tiki tissue box.
By the way, anyone want a Rainbow Fruit Bowl?

Monday, September 24, 2007

Through The Ages

Her skirt was too short for the office. It would be even considered short in Zouk on a Paul Van Dyke night. She was tall, slim, pretty and had fantastic legs but her relative young age was broadcasting on all inter-galatic channels as her butt cheeks threatened to peek out at every swirl of her short little mini.

I haven't seen such naivete in such a long time. It was her second week at work and she didn't seem to even realise that she had half the office turned on and the the other turned off. I also found it fascinating that she was Chindian. I haven't see one of those since this morning when I was checking for nose hairs.

I didn't notice her as I'm rarely in the office and even then I'm holed up in my office throwing sheep at people on Facebook.

The ladies in the office were whispering about the young thing. They called each other to check her out. Some stared disapprovingly, some others stared unappreciatively and some just checked out the competition.

Then the weirdest sensation hit me as I was listening to the conversations among the older women. This weird feeling that I was drifting between the time barrier. All of a sudden I was in my twilight years, old and wrinkly, man boobs flapping on my skinny chest looking at younger men flirting with even younger, hotter women and me feeling helpless and frustrated. Then I'm younger and the world is my own to mould but I'm unsure of what lies ahead and except for what little I know of myself. Not good when its a bad attitude to authority and a sarcastic mouth...

Then I'm back to reality. There's a ton of work to be done. I going to be late for my 4.30 and still haven't sent out that last email. That report also needs to be done by tomorrow. No 70's show for me tonight.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Puasa Month Identity Crisis

It's been 10 days plus since the fasting month started. This year its been tougher since I've been spending quite some time outdoors and I'm all tanned up, resulting in one Malay looking Chindian.

I realised this when the Pak Cik in the food court of the office just stared at me from the moment I sauntered in at 12.30pm and started piling my plate with some greasy lunch till I went to the counter to pay. Of course my first reaction to anyone staring at me was to check if my fly was open. A quick glance ensured me that Little Chindy didn't have an escape route. Back to Pak Cik and he had gone on to serving some ladies behind me while I did my zipper inspection.

The second sign was when I went to Chinese chap fan joint and the lady in the counter asked me in English what I wanted. The drinks dude also asked me in English and politely at that! And these are folks who always used to speak to me in Cantonese in the past! I think the English was just make it 100% that if anyone was there from some government departments they could say that they spoke to me in English because I didn't look Malay?


I've stopped being rebellious at the mistaken identities during Puasa month. At one point I used to mentally dare people to ask for my ID. No one did. I just got bad service or stares. Only McDonald's staff have actually asked me nicely and apologetically if I was Muslim.

A long time ago, when i was in a Chinese coffeshop with a friend in Pertama Complex, 2 cops who saw me waited outside for an hour till I came out. As they walked towards us my friend knowing I was waiting for some drama wisely put his arm around me and started talking animatedly to me in Cantonese. Unsure, the cops stopped and walked away, which deflated my excitement at whipping out my ID in front of them with some choice words.

The most embarrassing and a little tense filled occasion again in one of those years gone by,was when I rushed into a McDonald's on the first day of Puasa which of course i had forgotten. I was also at that point blissfully unaware that it was like 10 minutes bofore the official time to break fast. ) I got pissed off at the unexpectedly long lines, bought my burger, whipped it out and started chomping on it. The whole outlet suddenly grew quiet. I looked up and I realised although I looked like an Abdul Chindiana, I was the only Muslim in the whole place! My jaw literally dropped. I wrapped up my burger, mumbled something about "saya campur" which probably didn't help the situation, and walked quickly out and finished my Chicken Burger in the fire escape.

The Eurasion friends who look Malay especially the women suddenly seem to discover a new found strength in their faith. The love hearts on the necklaces become crosses or the crosses become bigger. Some even go for that cleavage action because no self respecting Muslim woman would be seen flounting her Yayas during the fasting month.

I've come to realise that it's not their fault if Muslims or others think I'm Malay becomes sometimes I do look it. So now it's a case of prevention is better than a sulking/merajuk session by either party in case the case of mistaken identity does blow out of proportion. Damn, I'm getting old.....

Google Earth/Sky

Eiffel Tower

I was badly hooked on Google Earth about 2 years ago. After the standard search for my home I started looking for places I've visited abroad, popular monuments, terrain, new trails but realised that the maps around KL were a bit outdated (it still showed development around the Putrajaya/Dengkil areas and not all areas were sharp enough. Outside of KL especially Seremban I can't get close enough as the satellite imagery just blurs up when you try to get closer for more details.

When i heard they lauched Google Sky a while back and I updated my Google Earth program and found that all most areas in KL and Malaysia were updated too(updated but still not 100% - Curve still under construction). It's still fun all this while for those odd times when I feel like exploring the world from the comfort of my home.

Click on the images for better visuals to appreciate the details.

The Great Pyramid of Giza.


Mount Everest

Yep, that's the size of Antartica. All that ice just waiting to melt with this global warming thingy.

Actually my first choice was Shah Alam Stadium but could only find this stadium in the UK.


The Chrysler Building in New York. The perspective in the US seemed different. Probably more satellite images/surveillance pointed in that direction??? More Conspiracy Theories Amway!!! Welcome back dude! : )
Closer To Home:

Kuala Lumpur City Center from a cloud's POV.

A plane flies over the area near Gurney Drive in Penang.



The 13km Penang Bridge reduced to thread like dimensions when viewed from way up high.


Hey, you even get to see Acha Curry House near Jalan Gasing, Petaling Jaya.


The settlement of illegal immigrants from Philippines on Pulau Gaya, just off Kota Kinabalu


The mosque and Prime Minister's residence in Putrajaya.

GOOGLE SKY


Google Sky is an amateur astronomers wet dream. It shows you the sky as seen from that particular country. It may not be as fun as Google Earth as the Universe is just so vast but it makes me feel that I'm reading a children's edition of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Click on that galaxy and you zoom in closer and I cakap sama yew, you can get happy imagining you're on the Millenium Falcon for that 2 seconds!



The Andromeda Galaxy. I had a toy horse called Andromeda once. Sorry...


Closer....All pictures are supplied by the Hubble Telescope and NASA and I think they will be teaming up with other space agencies around the world.

Closer.... The closer you get the more stars and nebula and galaxies appear. You can click on links for more info etc.

Literally now the Universe is not so mysterious anymore. We literally can print out the night sky that is directly above us (with constellation and planet guides) take an easy chair outside with a beer and just start learning about the galaxy we live in.
With all the shit in the world this is just a reminder that tech can and will make this plane of existence a smaller place. Google Sea might be longer off as its much larger than the land mass but virtually unexplored.
In a couple of years, wives can check real-time if their husbands' cars are parked outside Club De Vegas after office hours! Ah technology, thou art a double edged sword.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Avram Who?

As Mourinho drives home an estimated 20million pounds richer, Avram Grant, the director of football at Chelsea takes over the management of the last superstar team in the world. His interference in the running of the team was one of the reasons The Special One left. Mourinho won Europe's most prestigious tournament with Porto, a somewhat mediocre team compared to the teams studded with big name players, so why should folks like Grant get involved? And that's on top of Abromovich paying huge $$$ for players of HIS personal choice just because he's funding the team. The more the business of football BECOMES more about BUSINESS, the expectations and management styles of essentially investors who have no inkling of the soul of the game somehow creates unrealistic expectations from a club. Football is soul, passion, synergy with the other in the same shirt on the pitch. How do KPI's compare to broken ankles or torn ligaments? How long does a team that's forced together by an excellent Portuguese coach, a Russian oil baron and an ex-coach of Israeli football teams have to gel and click before the owner gets impatient with his ROI?

Eva Cassidy

Moving on from conspiracy theories - bear with me, layan the download time and listen to this cover. I heard her on the radio on one of those quite Sunday nights at home and it was perfect. She died at 33 of melanoma, undiscovered by all except her hometown. Posthumously her albums have sold over 4 million copies.Such is life eh?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Big Brother Watching?

Freemasons, the Illuminati, Mossad and..... Amway???

Not sure if some of you read the comment page from my MLM rant from yesterday morning. Did anyone realise that the comment left below was not from a reader of this blog at all and was probably (1'm 99% sure) a PR unit from Amway.

I posted my rant at about 12.38AM and this very, very nice and friendly feedback came in at 4.41AM.

IBOFightback - Fighting the Amway Myths said...
As a fellow member of N21 special ops I can say that young grasshopper is NOT following our indoctrination ... I mean, training ;-) .... step 1 is to ask about you! oh well.And some of us have plenty of spark, believe me :-)ps congrats on living the life of your dreams, that's what it's all about afterall. Amway is A way, but it's by no means the only way.pps it's double x - give it a try :-)
September 18, 2007 4:41 AM

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IBOFightback - Fighting the Amway Myths
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Fact:
1. The dude is not a blogger.

2. He's obviously paid by Amway to send in PR comments to sooth frazzled and pissed of nerves.
3. More importantly if you look at it, do you see how professionally it's done? The tone, the words, the easy going style sorta followed my own patterns! The only mistake was it came from an obviously corporate site or else I would have thought it was really a cool MLM operator.

My question to anyone who can help me because I'm really curious - What system did they use to track my negative comments against the company? Key words? Randomly typing in Screw Amway on Google? I assume it must be a global program because I can't see some guy in the Malaysian office doing this or even an outsourced foreign customer service person in India or Philippines.

And can you imagine this PR machinery working for governments who really want to win over the online and blogging community?

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

One Finally Got Through

It had to happen sometime. I held on for as long as I could. Finally when I had thought they had given up, one just sneaked up on my ass and breached the sanctity of my inner sanctuary. Oh wait....that didn't sound right.

Moving on...

On Saturday, the 15th of September 2007, i found myself face to face, in my very home with one of the most evil of evils. The Multi Level Marketing Sales Rep.

He was an old friend. He'd been trying to pitch me some scheme or another for the past 10 years. We shared the same birthday and for about 7-8 years would always meet up wherever we were to catch up for drinks on or about the Big Day. He stopped being a friend when he would only meet me if I would would agree to go play that Robert Kurosaki game with him and his friends. Of course I felt it was my duty to defend the honour of childhood friendship, so I told him gently to fuck off and eat shit.

But in true cultish style he came back again and again with that Hallelujah/Hare Krishna/Moonie smile and chirpy disposition. This time around he was representing the Amway special ops unit, Network 21. I really have no respect for this offshoot agency. The sneaky morons that approached me in the past just came across as untrustworthy, shifty eyed, self absorbed wankers. "Psst, we've got this gathering every Wednesday to unveil this great business plan. You must come but I cant' tell you what it's about until you do..." Give the potential flasher a raincoat folks.

I don't know about you but I find these MLM folks totally devoid of living spark. Their lives are driven to find eternal security but that search has stolen the will to live life to the fullest. Yes, its supposed to come when they reach that King Wanker status where they work 8 months a year but still, can't they look like they're having a life getting there? Do they all have to look and sound so insistently desperate?

Well, all he said was he was going to drop something off. And then.....with what i must admit was a stroke of pure genius, he brought his little kids!!!!!! Now cuss as I do, I couldn't tell Daddy-O off in front of the kids, so the drop off became a talk and that talk dragged on because he had a checklist to go through. I put the kids in the hall and luckily the Cartoon Network was on. Uh... because....because...I like the back ground sounds when I'm going through my 200 crunches for the day. curses...

And so,

He ran through the proposal, text book style. He didn't bother to find out what i was doing. He didn't even know I had a new job. He just wanted a disciple. I was bored and he HAD driven all the way from quite a way off and after me, he was going off to another presentation. I mean it was a Saturday. I was going to watch football in a bar later and well, poor fella right? So with only one hissed "Fuck this man..." I bought some product from him. Some energy thing, sounded like Triple X, Weapon X, Ex-girlfriend? Whatever... Pow! RM120. Then the monster reared it's ugly head and he said actually if you buy this you need this salmon extract to carry it into your system. Pow Pow!!! RM89. So now multi-vitamins need a chaser??? Like I need a third nipple...

OK - here's my bit. YES MLM WORKS. Happy? If money and the endless thirst for wealth is what drives you then yes GO. FOR. IT. It works.

So this is where it's important to you MLM dick heads - I LOVE WHAT I DO. I LOVE MY LIFE. I LIVE FOR MY JOB SO ITS NOT A JOB. ITS PART OF MY LIFE. I really do not have time to make extra money outside of what I do.

If I screw if up so be it but I will not live in a fear for the lack of money because I am getting paid and always have been paid doing what I love. I am not looking at working 8 months a year. Or having a Porche in my porch. Or a massive home with a swimming pool I won't use.

So please, PLEASE dear sirs and madams, I respect the patience and drive you have because it cannot be easy being seing seen as an arsehole to all and sundry. It is impressive and props to you, but can you stop taking credit for Asafa Powell breaking the 100meters world record and can you please leave me alone?

Terima kasih dan majulah sukan untuk negara.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Difference Between Us Pt 3

We're as different as night and day. Here're more reasons why.

What starts our engines :





And now, what gets the ladies breathing heavily:



Sigh......

Saturday, September 15, 2007

This Facebook Thing

Holey Fukamoley! Its contagious isn't it, this Facebook thing? I just signed up because Kelly sent me the invite. I haven't seen her in years so I finally jumped into the world of online communities. In the past I had told Friendster to Fuck off, MySpace to Suck it and only just started MSNing a coupla of my Peeps who're mainly abroad.

In the space that I actually took to contact Kelly I got all sorts of virtual livestock thrown at me, I suddenly find myself the owner of an aquarium, I wake up one morning and find myself a Vampire Bride, c'mon man, A fukin' Vampire Bride!!!!! I can't kick anyone else's Vampire ass since they're all like God Vampire status or some shit and I have so few friends that i just end up sending them booze and that stupid button badge application that doesn't seem to work most of the time! C'mon Facebook, get it sorted! Why would I want to send this ......



...to myself???
So nobody's buying me drinks but they keep turning me into vampires and werewolves. And the mind fuking part of it is, its the GUYS that are biting me and buying Naughty Gifts! What the flying fish .......????

I signed up on Garden so I'd be able to send flowers to Hot Chix and to some gangsters in Klang BUT I realised I automatically get a garden as well, which has since been filled with all manner of petal life! So I'm a Vampire Bride with a garden, an aquarium and a werewolf that seems to be everyone else punching bag. Thank God, Lee Mei filled up my Solar System with some alien life and some rockets and that helped dilute that gay factor on my page a little.
I had one or 2 clowns from my past pop up suddenly asking to be my friend only because they wanted more points or Facebook money or they just wanted to check out if i've got hot girl friends. At least they were honest about it and took it well when i told them to buy me real beer first and fuck off.

So how long is it going to last? Smoke signals gave way to drums who gave way to the Pony Express who lost out to the postal system. Letters gave way to emails, who then lost a tired race to MSN and Messangers ,who then got Friendstered and MySpaced and who now find folks are relocating to Facebook. Well it's not all bad right, everyone in the Facebook Universe looks hot! Some nice sedap women living out there. And they ain't from Seremban folks...

Its a great way to find old friends and meet that odd blind date. Everyone seems hooked on the endless applications so we'll see if the boredom level sets in after the next year or so.

C'mon people send me more Booze Mail!!!

Friday, September 14, 2007

Grindhouse

Tarantino's going to be known for directing and producing a few critically acclaimed and controversial movies just so he could indulge in his fetish in all that was B-grade from '70s cinema. Grindhouse is a movie MADE to look bad - bad editing , missing scenes, ridiculous action and make-up a transvestite would cringe at, but it's also glorious that it doesn't give a fuck what you think. But its Tarantino and Rodriguez (I looked the spelling up:) so even though its supposed to look shite it still draws you in - how else can you get a monologue on Ava Gardner in a zombie movie? Where else are you going to get a one legged babe with an M40(issit? not sure) assault rifle with grenade launcher for an artificial limb? I love it that it doesn't take itself seriously. It's got Said from Lost peeping around a corner just to get Wiley E Cayoted, its got testicales in a bag, its got hot lesbian doctors, awesome car chases and the most scarily realistic call for gun control among children.

Far, far more fun that Nicole Kidman, her tight aunty sweaters and hippie aliens in Invasion.

Since its banned here, head on over to your friendly neighbourhood Shiny Disc Hero for a copy. Great viewing after a stressful week. Check the copy as mine only had Planet Terror. The Kurt Russel Deathproof was missing (its a 2 in 1 movie) and particularly the retro movie trailers which i was looking forward to - Werewolf Women of the SS! A pity G'house bombed at the box off or else I'd be waiting for the next installment!

Grindhouse's Cherry Darling

This is one of the best worst movies I've seen, one legged strippers with assault weapons for legs, zombies, cars, babes and violence and gore so ridiculous is hilarious! Tarantino's and his protege's (yeah i cant spell his name!) ode to the C Grade shit from the '70s or was it '60s. Who cares! Good for a laugh!

So riduculoos it's hilarious!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Damn, I Got Tagged!

OK, don't ask me but it seems like its this game that chicks play from blog to blog. So it seems like I'm invited into the Yaya Sisterhood of Travelling Pants and have been tagged by Farah Siva - http://www.farahsiva.blogspot.com/ who was turned by Laych http://www.misslaych.blogspot.com/ who already tagged Han Solo http://www.greybits.blogspot.com/ .

So I'm supposed to answer some Top 5 questions and then forward to 5 people I know. Since I only know you bunch of batangs who read this blog, get ready to answer........

5 things in my handbag
- ?????????????????? OK Sorry ladies it's been a while since I crossed dressed.

5 things in my purse (i guess wallet in Jantanland)
- ID
- ATM
- Credit Cards
- Cash
- Toys 'R Us membership card

5 things in my favourite room (that's my hall)
- My supercalifragilistic comfy couch that anatomically conforms to my ass
- My CD collection
- The Breakfast at Tiffany's retro poster (which is on loan. I haven't forgotten Small!)
- The Lava Lamp
- The figurine of that sexy little manga angel on my DVD player

5 things I would like/love to do
- Explore Mongolia
- Open up a bar in Guam or Bali
- Write a bestseller that will surpass that Potter tit
- Have nasi lemak breakfast with Tun Doc Mahatir, Stephen Hawking and Elvis
- A non-PR related date with Hannah Tan

5 things I'm currently doing
- Starting up a new job and trying to build it up as soon as possible
- Trying to figure out this dating game after being out of it for so long
- Trying NOT to be mean to silly women
- Bloggin/writing
- Trying to sell off my toy collection and grow up!

Haha! SO NOW I hereby TAG the following folks to get in on the action:

1. The only woman I know who hasn't been tagged yet (I think) - June http://www.junex2.blogspot.com/

2. Pol at http://fast-c-nation.blogspot.com/ - c'mon Mr. Sensitivity!

3. Richard Bart Augustin at http://thewordofbart.blogspot.com/ - Care to share Evilness Incarnate?

4. Ah Lim - get your self a blog!!!! - or post your answers on mine!

5. And of course Mr H at http://www.swaktalk.blogspot.com/ - i just know you're sensitive deep inside dude.

Come gents, get your groove on and get in touch with your female sides! I'll forward the answers to the women who started this thing. I'll even answer the handbag thing if you do too!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Happy Monday Morning Folks!

Yeah, I know...... : )
*Thanks to Bart for this

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Cutting Corners

Ouch! Better make sure that little Jimmy is not chewing on Batman's head in the hall.

Finally, with Mattel recalling over 20 million toys and one dead factory manager(suicide) later, we get proof that the Chinese manufacturing Goliath is just as adept at dicking around with safety issues as the best morons in the industry.

I'm not even going into the fact that it's probably a vicious cycle. Client squeezes factory for better margins, factories cut corners to make it worth their while to keep manufacturing and every thing's sunshine and rainbows until some little girl starts getting crossed eyed from smelling Barbie's hair.

So Mattel goes into canggih PR mode to ensure that there's no backlash at their Christmas collections of the 100th version of Buzz Lightyear or Volcano Armour Batman. That's fine actually. They will actually DO something about it. They're Americans. If they Sin they're subjugated to eternal damnation in Legal Hell.

Nike used to get called up on subjecting skeletal Pakistani kids into making their footballs. But that was only because they were the largest sports brand in the world and these NGOs need to go after high profile targets to get noticed. I don't think adidas was making their balls in Hamburg man.

But really, the global big boys are forced to comply in some way or another. Its actually the smaller companies especially local boys that must be gleefully having an Up Yours Barbeque to lax safety or quality stadards. In Asia who actually keeps them in check? What do they put in our food, plastics and fabrics?

The Asian cheapskate way of cutting corners is most excellent as Asian consumers will actually lap up what ever we give them as any better alternative would probably be more expensive. Has anyone compared locally made chocolates to the imported versions of the same brand? Can anyone remember the taste of certain brands of bread and buns from their childhood? Is it better Made in Malaysia? Not to me man. 'Cept maybe the pirated DVDs...

Government buildings falling apart, bridges cracking, environmental pollution, illegal deforestation, dodgy government officials and you think some one's looking into what happens INSIDE local manufacturing facilities?

Anyway, if anyone has the banned Sarge Jeep from the Pixar Cars collection, I'll take if off your kid's hands. I think I can get a good price for it on Ebay. One man's meat and all that...

Friday, September 7, 2007

The Most Violent TV Series Ever!

I actually saw these shorts on MTV once. The graphic violence is hard core! Not for the squeemish! Best watched when knocking back a coupla brewskis.

HPTFs - DO NOT watch this if you're squeemish!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Texas Shoot First Law

Came across this bit of news. It's a bit old, but in March this year the Governor of Texas signed a law that allows Texans to shoot first if they feel their lives are threatened. Go HERE for details. Makes you wonder how Malaysians would handle this tempting bit of fantastical freedom in our Land of Knee Jerk Reactions...



"Uh Mom, I don't think it's a Mat Rempit. It looks like the Domino's delivery guy..."

*Picture copyright Chindiana Trails and photographer

** Toys from own colletion

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Carey Island

Woke up early today and dragged along Eagle Eyed Ah Lim at the last minute and set off for Carey Island (take the KESAS highway and turn off at the Banting exit and head ALL the way straight till you get to a mini roundabout and take 12 0'clock. Then turn right to take the short bridge to the island).

I hear Carey Island is famous for its seafood but today I was heading for the Golden Hope oil palm plantations. I was looking for long and flat terrain as I'm looking at taking up cycling to ease of the pressure on my busted knees.

Lots of endless irrigation canals...

..endless roads and ...

... lots and lots of endless red dirt trails.

The air was fresh, the wind was rustling through the trees and the birds....so many and we're not talking the tube top wearing types from the Asian Heritage Row. As we walked along the red dirt trails, we saw ospreys, sea eagles, king fishers, storks and those tiny little tweety ones flitting, gliding and just nonchalantly swooping around the trees. Other wild life made appearances too- monitor lizards, big and small and squirrels. As they were too quick for me I guess you'll have to settle for pictures of static vegetation that were more than happy to pose for me...

Me Trying To Show Sensitivity.

Me Trying To Show Sensitivity 2. And a nectar sucking bee (top right flower).

We were lucky as it was slightly overcast so it was all good. Almost perfect conditions.

Ah Lim fearlessly crossing the Death Bridge of Thunder Chasm River.

This building was built in 1930 and still is in immaculate condition. At least from the outside la.

HATTERS CASTLE

The jewel in the crown on Carey Island. This used to be the plantation manager's quarters. Someone still lives here and we sorta rudely walked in to take a few pictures. Its this beautiful English cottage/home and you're literally sucked into the past as soon as your feet start crunching on the gravel driveway.

The grounds were PERFECT. A picture book brought to life.

We really wanted to speak to the residents but I think they were inside (the car was parked around the corner) and we didn't really want to intrude on their Sunday morning by knocking on their door.

Tea and scones anyone?
OTHER BUILDINGS...


The Guesthouse near the Carey Island Sports Club

The very charming and cosey Carey Island Sports club. It sports a 9 hole golf course, a swimming pool and I think a tennis court out back. When you walk up to it you can imagine the images of past Mat Salleh planters dressed in their best party gear dancing away on Christmas or New Year's Eve as they celebrated life in a foreign exotic land.

It serves very basic but decent food. They're open from 7am - 7pm. The coffees we had were old school strong and sweet and the mee goreng simple and satisfying. I love this place as walking around I noticed it's almost untouched since the day is was built. Even the toilets have ceiling fans!


What else can you ask for? Strong black coffee, a gentle wind in your face and a thousand shades of green all around you.

The classic plantation football pitch - green, green grass. Just have to be careful of the odd cobra in the grass.

On the right is the river mouth that leads to the Straits of Malacca. On the left is the golf course. Notice that the water level is almost the same as the road on the opposite side of the breaker wall in the middle.

Local kids fishing on pier. The opposite side of the river leads to Port Klang.

The 'beach' is nothing much more than rocks stretched out in both directions. The water is muddy and not worth much except you get to see the container ships en route to Port Klang.

Carey Island is a world of it's own. Literally untouched, it's a throwback to simpler elegant times. As usual the rude intrusion of modern times has crossed the bridge to the island and is evident by some ugly new brown buildings at the entrance to Heritage Island section of the Island. There's still things to see like the Mah Meri carvers which I didn't have time to track down. I'm going back of course, to enjoy some morsels of another time period and to take in as much as I can before we loose this gorgeous testament to historical preservation to the encroaching tides of modernisation(damn, that was a mouthful...).