UPDATE: I just reread this post that I posted earlier (27/2/08) and had a good laugh!
Thought I'd repost it for some of you new comers who haven't had a chance to browse my older posts. Enjoy!
It's one of those days. Looooong. Cancelled meetings, waiting endlessly for people and stuck in jams caused by idiots. You Section 13 TAR college punks, if you double park on BOTH sides in an INDUSTRIAL area, that means the frequent lorries and trucks can't get through and that means NO ONE gets through. Saw some of you also stuck in the jam but since you're probably on E anyway you'll do the same thing tomorrow. That'll be nice with the MPH warehouse sale on. Best of luck Punk.
Anyway, using profanity is a calming balm to the soul, like eating wild boar curry with ice cold beer, or getting a 2 hour massage for RM30. But to use it with the fullest appreciation of the English Language to deliver a point is something I thought non-existent until I started watching the HBO western, Deadwood. It's that show based more on prose than gun play. Here are my top 5 Deadwood quotes applied for situations in everyday life.
1. When the office politician AND the office sneak gang up on you - "Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair and fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man.....and give some back!"
2. To any guy who doubts your vehicle can make it up to Genting - "My bicycle (car or whatever) masters boardwalk and quagmire with aplomb. Those that doubt me suck cock by choice."
3. To all men - "Tread lightly those who live in hope of pussy."
4. Just to piss of a bartender - Conversation:
"Maybe I will have a fucking drink, for sociability's sake and 'cause I'm fuckin' drunk!"
"What's your preference?"
" That it ain't been previously swallowed!"
5.And my personal favourite and to use on the next guy with a Beckham 'do - "Get a fucking haircut! Looks like your mother fucked a monkey!"
I feel much better. Going out for a beer now........